The "Good" Pastor James
“ Pastor James was more than a man of God. He was a vessel of the Holy Spirit. A channel for the word of God to flow through. He was a man who could put the fear of God into the devil. He had a booming voice that demanded your attention. When he spoke you hung onto every word as if it was the last and when he read from the bible you cherished each word as if they were gold. James was also the kindest man you could ever meet. Pastor loved all he came in contact with and all who came in contact with him loved him. A young boy once came to the good pastor with tears in his eyes, begging for forgiveness for his sins. The pastor merely smiled and told the young child his sins were forgiven. When James met the man who stole a large sum of money from him, the good pastor forgave the man. When asked why he forgave the man so easily that pastor said, “Because I much like the Lord above, forgives all.” Yes the pastor was truly a good man. Pastor James-”
“You don’t belong here demon. Leave this place, before it’s tainted by your foul presence ”
Even though he knew it was rather cliche to sigh, Louie felt it was the only apt way to express his annoyance. Although, he didn’t know if his sigh and by proxy his annoyance was caused by the idiotic man who called him a “demon.” Or if it was because of the obnoxious obituary, that painted the idiotic man who calls random people demons as a prophet. Or perhaps it was because, the last 10 or so people he had collected were super religious and this was like the 10th time he had been called demon or something referring to demon. Although to be fair, the last guy got pretty creative with what he said. “Foul beast form the fiery pits” will always have a special place in Louie’s cold unbeating heart... wherever it is. Probably in the Mississippi.
“Pastor James I assume?” Louie asked
“Do not say my name beast”
“So that’s a yes,” Louie murmured. Louie hated what was going to come next. After making contact with the spirit he needed to collect, the next step would be to explain to the spirit that (s)he was no longer among the living. Often times the spirit would either not know that it was dead or it wouldn’t accept that it was dead. It was Louie’s job to either convince the spirit to past on to the next world or to forcefully dispel it. Most of the time he had to do the latter. Most spirits really didn’t want to past on to the next world. They always had “unfinished business” or some bullcrap like that. And to be honest it was very annoying. “Look Jimmy, I don’t know if you’ve noticed or not but you’re dead. You’ve been dead for a good week now and your presence is kinda bothering everyone. So I need you to do me a favor and past on to the other world.”
Pastor James’ face went blank for a moment, then all hell broke loose. Lights exploded, candles where put out, doors where slammed open and shut, bibles went up into a shower of paper, and the temperature dropped 20 degrees. Nothing escaped the spirits rage. And well Louie, he was unimpressed. This was possibly the thousandth time he saw crap like this. And that wasn’t even an over exaggeration. He had literally dispelled over a thousand ghosts. After he hit the hundredth mark, it all just kinda blended together. although Louie will give credit where credit is due and admittedly it was at least the 10th strongest “phenomenon” as the “ghost hunters” would call it, that he had seen in at least two years,eh... probably. The strongest was a female ghost by the name of Agnes Harrington. After having died, due to injuries received from a vicious stoning, Aggie wasn’t the happiest of ghost. And though many may not know this, violent and generally negative emotions is basically fuel for phenomena. And due to her rather dark past, Aggie was in life a extremely angry and possibly violent women. Add her untimely death into the mix and well you get a spirit so powerful that any plants that grows within 50 feet of her grave dies, which by itself was pretty impressive. But unfortunately for many souls, stepping within 50 of her grave site caused anything, be it human or animal to do one of two things: become so rage filled that it would begin killing anything in front of it or it would kill itself in fear. It was safe to say that Aggie needed to be laid to rest, and fast.
“-mon!” Louie sighed, his attention back with the idiotic pastor who probably spent the last two minutes ranting about demons and god. Years of forcefully sending spooks on a one way trip to after-lifeville, had given Louie both ample time and desire to practice tuning in and out at the right time. It also allowed him to practice the art of separating useful information from useless information, a skill he uses often. Besides, he could pretty much tell you what it was that Jimmy had said. When it comes to spooks, especially the super religious ones, it was all kind of the same. ‘I can’t die this... unfinished business that… blah, blah, blah Demon.’ it’s honestly a bit tiring, when you have to hear the same bullcrap spouted out a thousand times over, from a thousand different mouths.
“As riveting as whatever you said probably was, the simple fact of the matter is you’re dead. You sir no longer belong to the world of the living. Now I don’t know, nor do I particularly want to know why you decided to cling so desperately to life, because if you hadn’t noticed life sucks. But your presence is causing a problem for the church goers who are just trying to live their life. So Imma tell you one more time, before I use force. Your time has came and gone, you are dead, leave.”
Oddly enough, this only seemed to piss off the spirit even more. Evident by the stained glass windows that somebody worked oh so hard on exploding with the force of a bomb. Poor windows, they did nothing to deserve such treatment. Now Louie was pleasantly surprised when instead of spouting out yet another long and overdrawn out spiel about God and demons, he was thrown out of the church by a force easily comparable to a speeding train. Picking himself up and dusting of his clothes Louie murmured “freaking douche, didn’t have to push me so hard…”
Easily kicking the church doors down, Louie ripped his gun, a Black Desert Eagle Mark XIX with indecipherable writing along the sides of the barrel, from it’s holster. “Oi, it’s gonna take more than a little bit of wind to get rid of me! You Douchebag!”
“Why are you still here!?!” Pastor snarled “I told you to leave!”
“Yeah you did and even though there are a thousand things I rather do, than dealing with idiotic, dead jerks with a ego the size of Africa, I unfortunately have a job to do. And that job is sending your ugly mug to the after-life. With that being said,” Louie pointed his gun at the Pastor’s heart “In the name of The Father, Son, and Holy Spirit, I exorcise you. He who clings to a world no longer his, He who presence taints this land. With this gun blessed by Father Abram, I break your bonds to this world, With this gun anointed on the day of worship with the blood of a Martyr, I purge this world of your taint, With this gun baring the word of God, I banish you, With this gun baring the name Libertas I free all of your torment. May God have mercy on your soul, for I have none.”
“Did you not hear me Demon? I can not die! I will not die! For I am the Right Hand of God, I am the Judge, The Jury, and-”
*BANG*
“And you’re annoying,” Louie grunted, holstering his gun. “Really annoying”
“W-what, n-no, God please not yet. There’s still much to do. Please God have mercy, Please God nooo- Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh” A wail of anguish was ripped from his throat as, greedy hellish black flames consumed Pastor James.
“Well, that was… anticlimactic,” The ghost hunter glanced at the scorch mark, that once was the ghost of Pastor James and scoffed “Good man my left foot”
