What is your opinion?
Loving Brother
"I can't believe this is a true incident. So sad of the boys, who were so hungry. I loved your writing style, And I found no grammatical issues in this story. I really love the story. So sad that the protagonist lost his chura. 😥 I loved it very much ❤"
Woah!
"That actually happened? That caught me off guard! But overall good start and details. You have good writing skills that I like to see in other authors! Good job!"
An interesting and frightening recount
"There isn't much I can say since this is a story told by another, not from the author's own mind. It could have done with less capitalizing of the people and things had by the children, and explanations to flesh out the story for people unfamiliar with the words would be helpful. A little bit of extra punctuation is needed as well to make this flow even better, but overall, since this is a witness account, it's a good story to have told. - Author of Hollow's Charge"
Very nice
"A short story that could become a novel. Very great."
Interesting
"I really liked it, but would have enjoyed it more if the plot was more extensive. But overall, really good job. "
Okay.
"I think that the title and the story are two really irrelevant things. We really got a short glimpse of the brother and the descriptions are not quite in place. The only thing you got to describe was the Churan and the danger they were in. I think it would have been better if we got a brief description of how the brother looked, how difficult things were, the wars included and how exactly the brother managed to get the protagonist managed to survive through out all of this problems. To add a a twist, you could have probably stated if the kids were orphans or not, and if they were, what happened to the parents. You can also describe how people around them: -What state are they in? -Why was there a war? It's not a bad story, but it just needs to be thickened to make it stronger. There is no grammartical errors from what I've noticed but it's really amazing that you got your idea out there.🙃🙃"
brothers love
"The story would been more interesting if naturalization and realistically of scene had been descrides in a little more detail.There isn't much I can say since this is a story told by another, not from the author's own mind. It could have done with less capitalizing of the people and things had by the children, and explanations to flesh out the story for people unfamiliar with the words would be helpful. Any way you tried your best. Congratulations !"
