Chapter 0 - War Crowns No Victor
‘War crowns no victor’ is what was running through the mind of the blonde, expressionless 14 year old girl, walking barefooted, wearing a blood stained white dress, holding her mother’s severed head in her hands.
She traversed the battle stricken lands of Eirini over an uneven terrain of mutilated bodies and the remains of towering skyscrapers. She looked towards the red sky pleading for a ray of hope that would relieve her of this nightmare. Her gaze shifted towards an Eirinian soldier who flew in from the distance and landed in front of her. As the soldier walked towards the girl, the shadows of the high rise ruins faded away, revealing the comforting appearance of a woman who then extended her arms towards the girl. She dropped the head and approached her with open arms, but was stopped dead in her tracks when a flaming blade tore straight through the woman’s face.
She fell back, screaming, as the corpse fell forwards and out of sight. Behind the woman she saw the silhouette of a man, the only visible features being a completely red right eye and a glowing body marking that ran from the right side of his forehead, through his eye and into his clothing. As the man turned around and prepared to fly, the shine of the engraved name written vertically from the collar downwards at the back of his clothing came into view, and it read, ′SHIROZOU’.
(Chapter 1) So far, I love the story. Starts intense as hell already.Me personally, I find italics work better for a character's inner thoughts than quotations, but that's mainly because most published works do it that way, if at all. Also, words like 'backwards, forwards, towards,' etc... I've heard most publishers don't like the extra 's' at the end, so I tend to leave that off. That's more of a preference thing, though. Story's excellent!