Short story
We have no record of your existence is this the family you who live in this certain address within that street which is opposite to the good people who do nothing but dig and hammer all day because they are building extensions to their existing building due to cross rail behaving well and bringing the fatten calf and all that other goodies? 50 odd ball at this present address which is no longer standing.
"What do the non existent do?"
Who is this non existent woman wailing inside her walled home which has taken over that part of her?
My dad is not a mad man I am supposed to be that. He is so used to blackmailing people into submission bullying buying that when he does not get what he wants it is because that makes him unhappy? Well murderess.
Family is busy demolishing the entire area due to circumstances beyond their control.
If they could they would build the entire street brick by brick so that they can milk some more money from the street. The middle of the road peaceful community is now no more in its place there are people greedy amicably separating and not even chatting about anything but cross rail and their future when they are over ninety. How many grand children great grand children would benefit? They all have homes to go to. But they cannot have? They do.
We are mostly poor I thought but not according to this woman who looked very gallantly at me as if to speak then her friend came and shoed her away. I thought the two old dears.
Banks do not reckon I am a good bet they sort of shy away lifting their papers and clipping their mouths.
While we cry and cry and the floods are come and we cry some more over the soap operas. Our lowest yearnings is that we do not cry anymore we laugh every time.
Then the wild singing comes you do not own me. That is a great singer one wants to say and then mesmerised one goes towards the glitter . I mean who owns you baby candy there is so much candy in the store and then I go to the clothes shop you don't own me and I buy some more.
Then I stop and there it goes back the last of my purchases. You see the mood is changing there is a desperate struggle between common sense and the operative word to get as much out of Christmas as possible. This is my Christmas I must buy as many as possible. Look everyone is rushed and around they collect the impossible dream.
"We are destroying the planet."
"The buildings we can take control of pest control the things which matter are what we want."
"That is awful."
"Is that all you are going to say?"
Excuse me?
"I have now the whole day to do revision."
"She failed her exams due to climate change."
"How brave of her to do that?" Were they all sincere?
I am compared to someone else and she does not exist.
"Of course we are not lying."
Dad said when we all lived once as someone else what an unkind remarks you make?
"Silly you lot are seriously so silly."
He turned his head and would not speak to me again.
He was that pissed.
I am still occupying the empty house and trying to repair the whole thing. Brick on brick what to do and how many demands does a woman have to meet.
"It is robbing me to tell you because you will never understand.”
“Morality."
"We love behaving badly you do not understand us at all."
“I am sorry.”
"Sizzling sex and all that makes us the masks of unnatural kindness."
“Oh, I fear to go out.” I thought I should have had the nine children that would have been better than the cast from the Robinson Crusoe story.
“Why are you not shouting?”
“I want to borrow money.” I have lived in sham and shame when I retire, I want to end it well with a bagful of riches and to be alone.”
Now to the drain of the dredge there is no more savings.
“Sorry another offence.”
“I work more than that in a day.”
“Shut down of the whole system not being agreeable means being beasts of burden.”
I get the hammer and hammer all the time it is as if the whole world was not on. The house is left undone I am left harmed there is not much I can do there is awkwardness there is no use. I am sure that the pipes are not ok.
“Hundred pounds worth. Here take it said he and I left clutching the the spanner."
“No, we know you are in trouble so take the damn thing.”
“I do like him but I have no more pride left.”
The charities have said I was of use and I have been of use and out of use for the past twenty odd years. Not worth the money it is printed on everyone speaks not well of me. My house they said was the most less likely they would move into and the pride of place is so nasty they would not be seen dead in it. The delivery man has hopped it with the parcel and said he had been over worked and since they shut down and cannot be reached. Well it is okay I am okay with that it is right they should have a rest when is my parcel coming?
Most of the charities you have to be referred and if you are not nice you are not referred.
The only charity which is what we can offer you can give you one thing.
You can have a bed and that is all.
A bed for one of the rooms to make shift for your nephew coming over from Japan. My nephew now does not like me I asked too many questions.
Just a bed?
Is there something odd about it all?
Where the hell will I put the bed in the first place?
You can also have a gas cooker.
Is that ok with me?
Is that what it means to be us the poor?
Stupid?
Yes.
I am easily led yes give me the bed.
Well the lines are all now dead the conversation is now dead.
Bastards that is all.
