We All Fall Underground

On one of the many free days the duo got, Pacifica and Kaipo decided to join a small marathon that was taking place in a nearby natural park. They suited up slightly for warmth, seeing as how the weather predicted for a fairly cloudy day. But no matter how it turned out, they both agreed to push through it (otherwise the first to drop out would have to pay for the other's take out for a whole week). As they reached the starting area with the other participants, Pacifica tugged at Kaipo's sweater. "Does it really have to be a competition between us? I didn't really get that much sleep last night, so really I'm at an unfair disadvantage already."

"No no no, you aren't talking me out of something this time!" Kaipo chuckled. "A promise is a promise!"

"But Kaiiiipoooo!" She whined. "Please? It's already super cold, and I swear I felt a raindrop earlier." To prove her point further, she held out her hand in the air and waited for the non existent rain to pour.

And sure, it was cold. Kaipo believed that. Looking around, they noticed how better suited other people were, as they were doing stretches and trying to keep warm before the race started. Plus... Pacifica was too god damn adorable sometimes to ignore. "Fine! Okay, I give! We won't race race. But you better be able to keep pace with me!" They said. "And! You automatically pay for my meal for today. Just today."

"Alright alright, I can deal with that," she smiled, then took to stretching herself. When the race finally started, the two waited for the crowd to clear and began jogging at a slow pace thanks to Pacifica.

It was quiet for the majority of it, the two admiring the nature. Pacifica continued commenting about how she swore she felt rain, but since Kaipo had already put up their hood, they didn't really notice. Another several minutes and yards later, Pacifica broke the silence.

"So, you've been kinda distant lately. I mean, not to call you out or anything, but I'm also definitely very much calling you out on it," she started. "Like, you didn't really have much to say about living with all these other teens and kids along with our little group. You just okay with it? Now that I think about it..." She flinched momentarily, actually getting a raindrop on her, "when was the last time we actually went out to do something together? Just the two of us?"

Kaipo sighed, keeping ahead of her just slightly. Their stomach had been twirled in a knot this whole morning, expecting some sort of confrontation about this very situation. "Now that's a lot to unpack that we don't really have time for-"

"Uh, we're literally going super slow for this very reason," she pointed out.

"Okay-" Kaipo huffed, stopping in place. Pacifica stopped next to them and scrunched her brows. "Let's just walk. And maybe reapproach exactly what you're trying to ask."

"Oh, okay." Pacifica led the way now, thinking to herself. What first? "Okay then. Why're you so distant. Start there."

"I don't think I'm being distant-" Kaipo looked up at a bird flying away. Huh, super cloudy. "I've kinda just been... chill. Calm. I don't always have to be super sunshiny all the time."

Pacifica stared at them. "Yeah well duh, but I mean you've started to get like this since even before we found out we were being put in this... group home."

Kaipo tried to think back to what she was mentioning: the announcement of the 'group house'. It had gotten harder on Kaipo's aunt and uncle to care for them when their restaurant was booming in business. Kaipo wanted nothing more but to continue helping them out, but when this rich old couple came by with the offer of a lifetime, Kaipo saw it as a sign to start living for themself and not burden their aunt and uncle much more.

Apparently, they were going around and doing a community service for helping teens and kids alike become independent, no matter what their homing situation was like. In Kaipo's mind, they were on the good end of the spectrum of kids, and saw that this was a really generous way to help out others so why not join. Yet deep down they felt like maybe the couple got the wrong impression about how they were living. Sure, the house being used was grand and lavish and had Kaipo's dream kitchen, and their son Edgar was pretty cool, but they couldn't help but feel like the couple was looking down on them as though they were a poor poverished puppy. And that was no way to start off growing their independence, or their confidence in that matter.

And they acted this way to all the other kids as well! Pacifica- which they found out was already living there shortly after- like Orabella, Verity was a surprising one, and the new kids they haven't gotten to quite meet yet. It left a very bad taste in Kaipo's mind, but yet again, it was still such a good service. How could they speak against it?

"Kaipo?" Pacifica waved her hand. "You see, this is exactly what I mean!"

Kaipo blinked a few times then looked over at her. "Oh right. Sorry. But no, being spacey is different from being distant."

"Fucking-" she stomped forward, already wanting to give up on this conversation.

But Kaipo kept pace, upset. "What- hey! You can't get mad because I'm right you know! You said you were going to try to listen to me more before, remember?"

"Whatever. You're like totally avoiding my question, but whatever," she grumbled, shaking it off. Yes, of course she remembered the promise she made to her best friend. "Okay, fine. Next question then. Why don't hang out with me as much anymore? You're my fucking best friend; I thought I was gonna have you through this whole new move and everything, but it seems like when you found out I was already living at the group house to wanted nothing to do with me! Do you know how much that fucking hurts?"

Kaipo frowned, looking away. Okay... she had a point. It wasn't fair to her that they did completely detach themself from her when they moved in. 'Well maybe i wanted to be my own person and not be pegged as Pacifica's friend,' they thought. But it's not like they would say that out loud. She's already hurting clearly. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to do that."

"So why did you? Because, again, you've grown distant!" As she spoke, a few very obvious raindrops splashed down on them, and soon a shower began to cover them. Pacifica pulled up her hood.

Kaipo looked away again, and from her view, she realized they were going into another blank state and she was growing impatient. Her own best friend was keeping things from her, and she couldn't figure out why or what to do. Was it the move? Was it anxiety? Did something happen to Kaipo's family? She hardly felt like she knew them any more and no mater how many times she tried to do things with them while the others were around, they kinda began to ignore her. They were her fucking friend first! Seeing the new group of kids take a liking to Kaipo and not her was making her furious. And now here they were again, with Pacifica being ignored. She grunted, and started to jog away from them.

"Pacifica!" Kaipo snapped out of it, and rushed to keep up. But as soon as Kaipo tried to slow them down to talk, Pacifica pushed forward and gave them the cold shoulder. She was done- she was just done with being ignored. If Kaipo wouldn't speak to her, she thought to just give each other space again. But Kaipo wasn't letting up. "C'mon! How are you supposed to hear me out if you're gonna keep running away from me! How am I supposed to talk to you?"

"How am I supposed to talk to you Kaipo?!" She shouted back, then began running. It seemed that was all she had to say.

Kaipo felt their face heat up, and an invisible weight was slowly pushing down on their chest. Was this... what it felt to be angry, Kaipo wondered. Because yes, Pacifica was finally pissing them off. But God, it was such an ugly feeling. They didn't want to be mad at their best friend, but she wasn't listening to them! Trying to push through this conversation was hurting them! Their eyes started to water up, but it blended in with the rain streaking down their face so it didn't really matter, and Kaipo used a burst of energy to catch up to Pacifica... but she was already so much ahead.

"Pacifica!!!" They called out to her. She ignored them. The ground began to get soft and Kaipo may have splashed into forming puddles, getting mud all over their legs. "Please! Just talk to me!!!"

She turned a corner, so they turned that corner. She ducked a branch, they ran around the tree. A person was passed up, Pacifica having bumped into them and Kaipo apologizing to them on her behalf, then the chase continued.

The whole time, Pacifica was holding the grudge, trying to run faster to get away each time she heard them call out for her. It hurt, but if they were just going to keep secrets, then splitting off probably was the better solution.

But Kaipo was getting desperate. They started looking for small shortcuts to keep up with her: cutting the grass, hopping a bench, slinging themself off of trees. "PACI-" They shouted again as she came into view, but suddenly Kaipo stepped incorrectly on some slippery rocks and came crashing down into the mud. They were instantly covered, and instantly in pain; their chin and knees were practically on fire. Kaipo cried out, gently touching their chin. It burned. It hurt so much. Everything hurt so much! And worst of all, they were alone. Their breathing quicken, and they sniffled, but eventually just let go and bawled their eyes out.

They were alone. They were wet. They were in pain, both physically and emotionally. What was wrong with them. "I'm sorry!" They sobbed to themself, "I'm so sorry-" as though to console themself.

A few people passed by, some scared to help. Eventually, one woman did stop and ask what was wrong, if they needed help. Kaipo sniffled, trying to assure her they were fine. The woman helped them up and walked them over to a bench to rest, gently giving them kind words and reassurance. And it actually helped a little, Kaipo thanking them, until they saw a worried Pacifica making her way back, running towards them.

"Are you two together?" The woman asked as Pacifica approached.

She leaned on her knees, holding up a finger to the woman as she caught her breath. "Yeah... scram."

The woman scoffed, but did just that. Of course, only after waving good bye to Kaipo. They gave a small smile and waved, but it disappeared when they looked back at Pacifica's worried expression. "..."

"What the hell Kaipo! I thought you were still behind me!" She spoke after a moment. "The fuck happened! Did you get lost?!"

... unbelievable. Did she not see their disheveled state? Kaipo pulled down their hood to reveal their very red chin. "What does it matter. You just kept running."

She gasped. Pacifica definitely didn't realize how fucked up they looked. She sat down and her hands hovered over their face, careful not to hurt them. "Fucking hell..." She whispered. "Kaipo I..." Sigh "I'm sorry. I didn't realize you fell. I would have stopped if I knew-"

"No you wouldn't have."

She froze. "What?"

There were the tears again, swelling up in Kaipo's face. She heard them sniffle as they wiped at their eyes. "You wouldn't have cared. You could have kept running. You would've stayed mad at me. I didn't..." they sniffled again, "I don't matter anyways. I would have held you back. I always do."

"Kaipo..." Hearing those words, it was like the image of her friend had completely shattered. She couldn't quite process what was dropped, but slowly and surely the picture became clear.

Her own best friend felt inadequate. "I... I care Kaipo," she said. "You don't. You don't hold me back. And I wasn't-" she was going to say mad, but in reality she was mad; upset because she didn't know what was wrong. "I wouldn't have stayed mad. You're my best friend; you always matter."

Kaipo began shaking their head, tears pouring. It was so hard to finally admit this. "No, I'm not anyone important. I stick to you like a codependent animal. Or like, I'm a burden to my aunt and uncle. I can't do things for myself, so I always need someone. I'm hardly my own person, Pacifica. I'm nothing!" They sobbed.

Immediately, Pacifica pulled them into her arms and hugged them tight. "Stop," her voice wavered. "Stop. You matter. You matter Kaipo- I'm... I'm so fucking sorry." A fresh wave of sobs hit Kaipo and they cried into her shoulder. Pacifica tried hard to fight back her own tears. How could she have been so oblivious. Why didn't she try harder. Or maybe, maybe she was doing it wrong? Her friend was hurting and here she was getting mad at them! What more was she supposed to do! "I'm so sorry..." She whispered into their shoulder. Their shoulders bounced lightly, and they spent the next few minutes like this, letting Kaipo out cry until their breathing calmed and all the tears stopped pouring. The two were still soaked in the rain, but it didn't matter to them, nor did they notice when it finally stopped.

When Kaipo pulled back, they gently stroked their chin again and kept their eyes down, not sure of what to say.

Yet neither did Pacifica. They sat in silence for another moment until the sogginess became unbearable. Pacifica looked up over at the path of where the race was supposed to be- no runner in sight now- then looked back to Kaipo and said, "Do you wanna go back home?"

Kaipo didn't move. "...yeah," They whispered.

Without another word, Pacifica stood up and carefully helped Kaipo up, being support for them as the two walked back in the direction of the starting line. She called for Verity to ask if she could come get them, and they stayed in silence for the whole time. And Kaipo was just so tired. Their eyes were tired. The two sat together in the back and they fell asleep on Pacifica, as she gently stroked them. 'You aren't nothing...' she thought to herself. 'You're everything.'