The immortalized kiss

"The best plot of a paranormal and lgbt fusion book i’ve ever read! Thank you for writing author, keep doing magnificently."

Good story

"The understanding of the narrating was hard to decipher sometimes. But! Very very good plot. "

Great work :)

"For me, this was an unfamiliar experience reading :) although I have a vampire series of my own (unpublished) I really liked this book 1 :) It was enchanting and capturing; the author put in a lot of work in this book :) I noticed a few Grammarly mistakes, but the author can easily fix them, although one can read with them, it is not a major issue :) The plot really well explained; I liked this idea in the book and using emotions and the surrounding as an advantage is a well-done thumbs up :) The characters well explained and one could make out from, time to time, who was who, although at some stages confused at what was happening and yes, I had to go back a few steps to understand what was happening, but no biggy :) I recommend this book to the future readers out there :) everything inside of this book is alluring and might I add, I also cried, laughed, shared shocking moments and rarely books do this for me :) Happy writing and keep writing :) GammaTeddy xoxo"

Great story

"I loved it very much. Can't wait for 2 part."

Favorite Book 🥰

"So this was a start for me of reading your novels and to be honest let me tell you it was also the second or third novel i have read on Inkitt 😎 and it completely amazed me it some chapters i was like no don't do it like that please 😭 but i overcome and thought it was just a novel 😅 but writing is so detailed that we can never miss a information about scenario. I still remember the name of this novel after reading so many stories so I came back to Inkitt to re-read your novel only to know you have added the 3rd and 4th part 🤩 it was then i commented on your post and here we are now 💯"

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Kiss of the Immortal

"To me this book was sort of confusing, and some of the paragraphs were so long that I had to reread them just to figure out what they were about and who was who!. Sometimes I was left wondering who was saying what and whether it was a human, vampire, or a half human half vampire. The story could really be a doozie if you cut, cut, cut, and rewrite, rewrite, and rewrite all or parts of it, because your story line was 100% top notch. I wish you the best luck with your writing! NRF . . . Please don't get discouraged.I rewrote my book, which is also on Inkitt over a hundred times, and probably still have mistakes in it!"

A well thought out world.

"It is evident the author has taken a large amount of time creating the world the story takes place in. I am not sure the Prologue is needed, that is of course your discretion. It seems there was a few problems with the tense, or I am just so used to writing in the past tense, your writing in the present seemed odd to me. The protagonist needs to be liked. There were times I didn’t really care for her that much, but that might be my personal taste. These are mere suggestions of course. The book itself was well written with great lyrical language. I almost wished to see more excerpts from “Book of the Moon”, it gave a feel of oldness to the reading. You will see I still gave good marks, these were my thoughts as I read your book. Hope this helps."

Unexpected

"I am the sort of person that doesn't usually read vampire books because they are not really my thing, but I think this story takes a nice, unexpected twist on the genre. I was drawn in from the beginning (I especially liked the quote that you used in the first chapter). The writing was decent but needs a bit of polishing. This is a good start, and I believe it has a lot of potential. Good work!"

Great Potential

"I've read the first few chapters and I can tell that you spent a lot of time on the story and plot. It has wonderful potential in becoming a great story, but the hardest thing for me is the writing style. I just wanted to give a small critique to help build up a stronger foundation on the style. Please don't take this negatively, because I'm telling you this because I can see the story becoming stronger. I wouldn't say this if I didn't care. First, break up the paragraphs a bit more, when you change subject in a paragraph it should be a new paragraph. Your paragraph seems to run long and can become a jumble of confusion if not broken up. Second, and the final thing I really noticed, show some action with the dialogue between the characters. If you don't do this it will become harder to tell who's saying what. For example: "Hi there," Diana waved at the author. This way you can tell that someone is doing something while speaking as well as who said it. This story can become something amazing and very enjoyable to read, just fix these few things and it will be easier on the readers to understand the story. I know you can become an amazing writer, I can already tell in this story alone. You just need a little more practice in the style. Good luck on the competition."

Kiss of the Immortal (Book 1)

"Absolutely hard to read. The punctuation is misplaced and the sentences are broken. Not a smooth reading experience by any means. "