What is your opinion?
Needs More Details
"The opening of the story was the accident. I expected the next chapter would be about the recovery or maybe a funeral, but you skipped a lot of things and went straight to Amelia's leaving the house. In my opinion, writing a chapter about how she felt when her mother died would be a good way to introduce her and make the reader understand her more. You can also introduce Jack's involvement in that chapter too. The part when Amelia and Jameson were taken to Donovan's house needs more details--both for their feelings and the place. I expected that you would describe Jameson's reaction more. I bet he didn't stay still looking at those luxury. You can add more details about what Amelia was thinking during the dinner, too. it might be interesting. I do have a question. What is Lucy's relationship with Amelia's mother? Or did I miss it? I hope this can help you. Keep writing! Regards, Kei Angelus."
Lots of Potential
"I this book has a lot of potential to be a good teen life/romance novel. However, the pacing is too fast for me to develop any sort of connection with the characters. The main character, Amelia, doesn't seem to ask too many questions or protest her living situation at all which doesn't quite add up to a realistic vision of a teenager going through a hard time. More character development would be a good start. As for the plot, I think it gives the author a lot to work with. The book just needs to set the right pace. It's not revealing enough as of yet. Please keep writing, and I suggest going back to add more content so we may know the characters better because I think you have a great plot going so far."
Good Book
"Overall, I enjoyed reading your book, but I really believe that there are things that you can improve on. Cover and Title- I noticed that your book is romance, but there was nothing on the cover that signified that. Same with the title. I would recommend you change that. I also believe that you can create a very professional cover using free websites like Adobe Spark and Canva, because the sad truth is that the more appealing your cover is, the more likely people will read your book. I also noticed that a part of your cover is completely white. This may be due to a glitch on Inkitt. The only way (that I know of) to fix that is to repeatedly upload your cover until it looks normal. Otherwise, I do not have any advice for you. Blurb- Like your cover and title, there was nothing in the blurb that told me that your book is romance. I would also like some more information on what happens in the book. Right now, I don't know much. The Chapters- I really don't have much advice for you here. Your writing style is good, although I would prefer it if you add some more description and let us really connect to the characters. Right now, I can imagine the characters in my head, but they don't feel realistic. Give them faults. Give them strengths. If you really flesh out the characters, your book would be good. Overall, I really enjoyed this book and encourage the author to keep writing!"
A sstory teller in the making
"Your style is what I would describe as extended dairy, or even journalistic, and it allows you to follow through with your story. That is good initially, because it is going to aid completion. Once you start to rewrite, there are things that you could do. The first is ambiance, this is not just what a place is like, but what also it feels like to be there. Assuming my American geography is correct, Amelia moves from East Coast America to the West Coast, and from relative poverty to superfluity, but I think there is room for development there. Your characters are fair and for the most part believable and I don’t think you should stray too far from portraying them from Amelia’s perspective, because Amelia is telling the story and holding it all together. The second thing you could consider is an intelligent bad guy, as overcoming malevolence as well as circumstance often makes for a good story. The third thing is, have you any sub plots in mind? There is certainly potential for one or two and it helps to add dimension to place and character and helps to make the story live. I am afraid that I am marking you down for your use of me and so and so did such and such. I know its the way you young people talk. My daughter does it. If you are content with saying,’me writes a book’, ‘me goes to the shops’, ‘me thinks this reviewer is off his rocker’, fair enough, but if you think that writers should be guardians of the language, consider more carefully the role of the first person singular. However my daughter will never say ‘My friend and I…’ which in my book is the correct usage."
