Chapter 1
The path is barely visible. The canopy of trees blocked out the sun and covered in shadows and mist the entire forest floor. It was supposed to be a good day for a hike, but as we closed in the apparent clearing these woods held, my mind can’t help but feel apprehensive. This is not a good place to be right now. I don’t know if it is the shadows that hide and creep behind us or the heavy mist that clings to our skin, but something is telling me to round back and run. To forget I was ever here.
“We are almost there. Come on! Hurry up, babe.” Richard said to me from a few feet ahead. I could barely see him through the unnatural darkness these woods held.
“I know he’s your boyfriend, Katie, but I’m already on my last nerve,” Stacy said with a hump and then stumbling on a raised tree root. Sweat covered her smooth forehead and ran down all over her face and neck.
“He says we are almost there, babe. Stop winning!” Michael, her boyfriend, said to her as he picked up his pace to catch up with Richard. He was too chipper for my liking, but Stacy loved the guy. It could be because he was the hottest quarterback in our college or because he actually cares about her, that she feels attracted to the guy. I don’t know and I really don’t pay too much attention to their relationship.
In a few short, but heavily prolonged steps we reach the clearing Richard was so excited to show us. A few sun rays shone down from between the canopy of trees and concentrated in the center of the space. Between the damp earth and dead brown leaves, the smooth surface of a brown wooden box was seen. The box wasn’t big but wasn’t small either. It looked like a trunk, a trunk that could hold the body of a child inside very easily.
The moment that thought crossed my mind, I shook my head dismissing it. I know I felt dread in the pit of my stomach, but thinking like that would make matters worse. Stacy turned her head towards me, a frown etched on her features.
“What’s this, Katie?” I opened and closed my mouth unsure of what to say. I had no clue why was Richard excited to bring us to these woods for a piece of old junk. I shook my head and shrugged.
“You are not going to believe what’s inside,” Richard said enthusiastically. His green eyes shone with something that I couldn’t quite place. But the moment he opened the box and the pool of blood flowed out towards us it was clear.
Blood covered our bodies from head to toe. Michael was unmoving besides Stacy, and Stacy had her eyes fixed on the box. A shiver runs through me and I’m sure my eyes have the same emotion that Richard’s: madness.
This was interesting. There were a few grammatical issues and some places where I think there were some words missing. Like in the last sentence where you say "A shiver runs through me and I'm sure my have the same emotion that Richard's: madness." Did you mean "the same emotion as Richard's: madness?" I tend to do that too sometimes, in my own writing. It helps to read it out loud to help catch things like that.
Neat! I like how concise it is - just a short, disquieting experience. Set it up very much like a (literal) walk in the park, and then the stillness of the characters at the end, not being bowled over, or fleeing, just standing while the end comes. There is a perspective shift once in awhile that threw me off, but honestly, I enjoyed how that end hit. Nicely done.
Its good and it has potential may I say how good you did in this chapter? I absolutely loved it you nailed it girl I can't wait for more!