What is your opinion?
What lies inside
"I don't know what just happened to me, but that was just WOW! Shortest and best thing I've ever read! That was just mind blowing and it was... I don't even have the words😂 My mind is just blown!"
Gasp*
"That was an interesting read...😨 I wonder if that box is something similar to Pandora’s box. From what I can see, it’s a great start! I wonder what’s going to happen with the four of them. The balance of the plot and suspense is great! Keep it up!"
What Lies Inside
"First of all let me start off with I love your cover. Me as a reader I like my chapter not too short and not too long but just right. I'm not sure hot to explain but me as a writer/author I usually write my chapters with 1000+ words for the fun of it. I think there can be more descriptions in some paragraphs but its understandable. The transitions are a little bit of a confusion and also need to be worked on but that's all for now!"
Spooky Bite-sized Vignette
"I really like your handle on descriptive language, and I'm intrigued by the decision to present just a brief glimpse of a story, in media res, forcing the reader to try to fill in what came before and what will come after themselves. I feel like this would work really well in a compilation of similar vignettes. You switch back and forth between present and past tense, which is disorienting, but that was really the only format error I came across. Leaving out a large amount of detail gives things a mysterious and unsettling feel, but I do think one or two areas could use a little more elaboration just so the story has the impact it needs. The final line seems to suggest that there was already something wrong with the protagonist, but that kind of comes out of nowhere: I think just one hint of foreshadowing near the beginning would make it more a revelation than a punchline coming out of left field. Likewise, one hint of Richard's wrongness before the very end would balance things. You might also have the boyfriends each call their girlfriend a different pet name, so they don't blend together. Never telling us what was in the box beyond that one hint is a good choice, I think, and is the defining trait of the story. I always love a world that doesn't owe us an explanation."
My personal opinion:
"This is certainly a tad bit of a unique and intricate experience, something that can be lightly represented as rather simple but as well something that carries a side-dimension of perspective depth and a follow-through of good set-up mystery, which I believe is personally a great contribution to any short story of this sort. Sure, it has a few minor errors and could be just a little more efficient in its dialogue and build-up of suspense (though it is quite fine based upon its intentional length), but that is nothing to carry much fault or criticism. So, all in all, you do quite a fine job representing what this was supposed to be and having quite the effective ending, with nothing more to be said."
Short yet intriguing
"I'm not sure if this is a one-shot or an ongoing story, but honestly it could work either way. The cliffhanger at the end was very dramatic and it makes you wonder whether Richard has truly gone mad. Or perhaps he is actually devious and calculating by luring his friends out into the woods and showing them this bloody box before he...what? Cackles maniacally? Starts hunting them down right them and there? Laughs it off as a joke? That's what's so interesting about this, I could see it going so many different ways. The only thing I would say is that you could try to clean up some of the awkward phrasing that occurs at times and that would make it even better. Overall though, it is a very good short story that gave me chills, well done! "
Eerie Mystery Short
"I thought this was really interesting and I had a lot of questions at the end. I understand this is a short story and it's completed, but you should think about turning it into a novelette (40,000-60,000 words). The premise is quite intriguing since we have a group of friends and Richard is showing them this box he has out in the woods. We don't know what's actually in the box, but we do know that there was a lot of blood. Human or animal, we don't know. That's what's eerie about it because it keeps us questioning what kind of horrors Richard is showing his friends and based on their reactions, it's not a good sign. Has Richard truly gone mad? Is he showing them a trophy from a victim? Has he murdered an innocent animal, the beginning of a serial killer? I liked your writing style and your use of description. I would just suggest going back and doing a little editing since there were some sentences that were missing minor words. It'll help with the flow of the story but the pacing was decent. I'm glad you didn't drag on with your descriptions and you did more showing than telling. Good Job!"
What lies inside
"The story tries to set up a mystery but it feels like it fell short, mainly due to not vivid enough descriptions. Also, the author keeps mixing up the tenses, from present to past simple, which disturbs the reading flow. I'd suggest fixing those first of all."
