What is your opinion?
A story to dig into!
"This is going to be a great story to dig my teeth into! There wasn't one moment I wasn't trying to scroll down faster to find a good part to resume reading! That deserves praise! Besides a few misplaced words or phrasing mistakes, the story is a brilliant read. Be sure to have a good reread through to get the kinks out and it'll be sure be a hit! Can't wait to read more! PS: Will update review as I continue to read."
Very interested.
"The opening gives sense of a very dark, dystopian world with a threat of immediate danger. When the wardens show up, the narrator mentions that she is insulted they aren’t wearing body armour. The way she says this seems to indicate that she is going to attack them, but instead she just runs away. Though it is apparent that she has power, considering the control over electricity, that line doesn’t fall in line with her actions. She seems extremely smart and talented, considering she developed a cloaking device for her bike so I would like to see some further explanation on how she came to acquire these skills. I also didn’t quite understand why she was so surprised about the wardens figuring out she was a possible GP. The lights in the building randomly going out seems less plausible than a GP knocking them out, especially if they are very openly hunted. There are some grammar and spelling errors that need to be cleaned up, like using loose instead of lose. A bit of formatting on the dialogue would improve the overall flow of the story. Just separating out the dialogue from the main paragraphs would do it, I think. Beyond that it is an interesting start to what I hope will turn into a great novel. There is a lot of potential here and I wish you the best of luck writing. - Dryger"
Shadows of 1984
"I have to say I was tempted to give this all five stars because I found myself quite riveted, then I remembered I'm not that nice ¬_¬. I very much enjoyed it, it reminded me of one of my favourite books right from the start. The parallels from 1984 are unmistakable even if they were unintentional you've captured that sense of feeling alone despite being around people. The sense of alienation and isolation, I very much enjoyed that. The scene setting is very good, I didn't cringe once, it's very competent, I could see this up there with hunger games and all that stuff, it would make a decent movie. The writing style is very good, very few mistakes and it seems to flow well. The first person perspective helps to get a feel for the main characters sort of no frills, tough personality. The plot is great, some of it is a little cheesy, the flashback thing is really clichéd but I didn't cringe too hard it still felt fairly bleak. The world building is stellar, it's simple and elegant and the 1984 fan really did the rest. But my main criticism is that I felt like I'd read it before, and I don't know if you've read 1984 and did this on purpose or just read hunger games or something else that was influenced by 1984 but this isn't really new. You're going to go to my story and rip it apart now I said that I can tell. Guy who writes a zombie apocalypse story criticizes you for writing something unoriginal haha. I'm just a little butthurt that you or someone like you could have made a story so similar in feeling to 1984 but not have read it and then ten years from now someone will ruin it with a terrible tween film adaptation haha., Yeah I'm just being a snob because I actually really enjoyed it. Very well done, I've added it to my reading list and will be keeping a close eye on it because of that blasted cliffhanger ending."
Great scene setting.
"I like the world you have created. I can picture the scene with the warden.s but am having difficulty with your character. Yes I understand he has special skills but I can not picture him. A strange new world controlled by those in power and the main protagonist lives, works to survive, I'm not sure about your opening section as I'm a firm believer start the story where the story starts. Only my thoughts but it became more interesting at the C'ome on start section (Motor Bike) All that which is before this can easily be integrated into the main story as it progresses. It been said before, read this out loud and the minor errors will show themselves. Great work. I wish you well with this and thanks for you comment on my opening. You are right."
An engaging read
"This sci-fi starter kit has a fast pace and good character development. It takes the reader on a coherent, exciting journey through an original world conceived by the author; a dystopian future where ruthless rulers rule the roost, and mutations have become fugitives, scraping together enough to survive. There are, however, certain advantages to being a mutant... I'd suggest a good proof-reader. There are many small grammatical and spelling errors, and these can interrupt the flow somewhat, but the story was good enough for me to read in its (current) entirety. Keep going with this, your plot has a solid premise and your writing will improve greatly with practice! I'll keep it on my reading list to catch up with new chapters. Thanks for posting this exciting piece :) Caine."
