The Pizza Parlor
I was hard at work slinging pizza. Every day lines would form straight out the door and usually around the block. Every hour, if not more, a different homeless gentleman would show up begging for a slice. I’d usually wait for a customer to buy them one, but worst case I was always good for a handout. I don’t know what my boss would have thought about that, but I didn’t care.
Word spread around the homeless community of this particular quadrant of my beautiful city, and before too long I was seeing fresh new faces… well… I was seeing faces I didn’t recognize. They certainly weren’t fresh and they certainly weren’t new. I kept the same system up, and things continued to move on smoothly. About once an evening, someone would come in so catatonic that there would be no choice but to kick them out. People who drink like that don’t usually eat anyway.
None of this is important to the story, I suppose. I don’t know why I outed myself as a bleeding heart who stole from their employer and gave to the less fortunate. I guess I just wanted to portray myself as a member of society who was not a stranger to the community of the less fortunate. Or maybe I wanted to brag about my good works. I’m not sure.
All of this led up to one fateful night where a very intoxicated older gentleman came in. In front of a crowded shop, this man budged himself into the front of the line, locked eyes with me like he knew me, tried to speak, and then collapsed on the floor exposing his almost empty bottle of Listerine.
“Holy shit.” I thought, “This guy looks just like Boney.” I stared at him for what seemed like an eternity. “This guy looks EXACTLY like Boney.” My concentration was broken as a coworker screamed in my ear, “Kelsey! Call 911, you fucking idiot! There’s a fucking bum about to die on our floor!” I still don’t know to this day why they didn’t just do that them damn selves. I hate calling 911.
The EMTs arrived relatively quickly. No police on the scene, thank god. They hauled this guy off to... wherever it is they bring people like that. I never asked. It was all I could do to not take a picture on my phone.
