A Soulmate Who Wasn't Mine

They said love was endless. That it was the best feeling you could ever witness. But they left out the part where love isn’t for just anyone. It’s like a puzzle piece, either it’s a perfect match or a mistake in the mix.

People forget that love isn’t all there is to life. It’s as if love is the only thing people ever look forward to. Why? When I look at it, it’s honestly a waste of time. Why spend your entire life looking for someone when you could travel around the world? Enjoying life.

Isn’t love supposed to be endless? If it’s endless, why did ours end? Simple love is a joke. It’s filled with mistakes and messy drama. It’s overrated. Honestly, for those who have their “love of their lives” I envy you. How do you do it?

So many of my questions go unanswered, yet I still ask. Our parents always say “You’re too young for love just wait till the time comes, enjoy life while it lasts for you”. But why didn’t I listen? Why do I always look past so many warnings just for you?

I see now. I see why I did; I wanted our love to be endless. I wanted it to be real, but now when I look at it everything was a lie. It’s a blur honestly, everything passed by so fast that I can’t even remember any of our moments together. What a joke.

How can a person be so weak but have the power to crush another’s heart? Why does life choose who gets to have love and who doesn’t? Why make it so hard for people? I used to wish that my love would come already. But meeting so many people in my life showed me my mistakes.

I let you walk all over me. I gave you my all while looking in a mirror. I saw the broken girl I was, and yet I told myself every waking day that you would be the one to fix me. Stupid.

You knew so many of my secrets, my fears, my wants, and my needs, yet you stomped on every one of them. You used me to fix you, but what was there to fix? It’s embarrassing to think I once loved you.

I was so stubborn and naïve that ignored all those rumors. Rumors that weren’t rumors, but the bitter truth. Did I even mean anything to you? Why would you waste my time knowing it was going to end? Why would you use me the way you did? Why did you say you loved me? Why lie?

After everything, why would you think I’d take you back? It’s funny actually, the one who used me wants me back. What? Did you realize I was now completely walking out of your life? That I no longer wanted you? Well, here it is.

This is goodbye.