Chapter 1
Chapter one
Morgane
Flashback-
“What?? So, you’re just going to leave? Because of a disagreement?” Jamie shouted angrily from upstairs; the floorboards creaked loudly as he scrambled out of the bedroom. “You can’t do this to me! We can get over this, we can fix this!” he yelled out as scrambled down the stairs to see Morgane pulling her suitcases towards the front door. Jamie couldn’t let this happen; his mother would kill him.
He ruffled his brown hair, which was flattened by sleep as he finished putting his top on. Morgane sighed deeply as she thought about what her neighbours could be thinking, the thoughts ran around her head, but she shook them away. At this point she had given up and decided she no longer cared what others thought about her, however, it was too early in the morning for Jamie to be shouting this loudly. Morgane heard the taxi honk his horn twice, a signal that he was here, and she needed to get in. The suitcases caught on the rug as she tugged them closer to the front door.
“Yes, I can Jamie!” Morgane half whispered half shouted back at him. She was sick of people telling her what she could and couldn’t do. Morgane huffed loudly and gave the suitcase one last tug over the rug, a small smile creeped on her face as she had been successful at moving the suitcases. One less problem. She opened the front door and looked Jamie in the eyes. “Because I’m leaving right now, I don’t want to hear another word.” Morgane continued, somewhat calmly. Everything was going smoothly until Jamie had woken up about ten minutes ago. Morgane sighed, she was trying to leave quietly, she didn’t want to have to have this confrontation so soon.
Morgane was never good at this kind of thing. She moved her suitcase through the open door that led to the front garden. She would miss this house; her mother lived a few towns over. Even though her mother barely approved of any of her choices, Morgane’s choice to pursue a science course at one of the top universities in England upset her mother. At first Morgane thought it was because her mother didn’t want her to leave Ireland but as the days led up to being accepted to the university of Cambridge the real reasons came to light. Her mother was possessive and would not allow her to achieve something greater than being alive in this little town. Morgane’s mother claimed she was just trying to protect her, but it didn’t feel like it to Morgane.
Even her boyfriend, Jamie, refused to accept this was happening. Over the last 2 months they had fought more than they had ever fought in their 5-year relationship. Jamie had proposed to Morgane 6 months ago and of course she had accepted, she did love him. Morgane loved Jamie with her whole being, but when someone refuses to support you after you’ve supported them for years? It hurts. Morgane realised a few months after the engagement that Jamie wasn’t even prepared to try for what she wanted; she knew she was asking a lot, but she also felt like this was the next step in her life.
“Jamie there’s nothing to fix, we both want different things, just please let me go.” Morgane said as she packed her things into the back of the taxi, Jamie was outside with her now, he was set on her not leaving and had been for weeks. Jamie watched her as she wiped the sweat off her forehead. Morgane had packed everything she deemed important, she could make new memories in England, she thought to herself.
“Morgane, stop. Just get back in the house. We can talk about this.” Jamie had quietened down now, maybe he could see the curtains twitching too. Morgane shook her head sadly.
“Jamie I have dreams and achievements that I want to follow... and you don’t want these things for yourself... Let alone for me.” Morgane turned as she spoke to him, she looked right into his eyes, maybe hoping somewhere inside him would understand. Straight away she could see he didn’t and couldn’t possibly ever.
Jamie had changed and she wasn’t sure at what point in their relationship he had become someone entirely different. She furrowed her brows. Morgane had known Jamie since forever, they had grown up together, laughed together, cried together and now they were to go through heartbreak together, but for some reason she didn’t feel like he was heartbroken. She closed the boot and began to walk around to the passenger seat. Jamie placed his hands on her shoulders and squeezed them tightly.
“You know I deserve better than this. Don’t leave. What about your family? What will they think?” he asked her, Jamie’s hands tightened on her shoulders, she started to feel uncomfortable. Morgane lifted her hands and slowly prised his hands off her shoulders.
“My family will learn to understand and accept my decision.. and support me .… Unlike you. And they’re happy for me. Goodbye Jamie.” She muttered. Morgane kissed his cheek, it was cold and hard, his jaw was tensed from anger. Once Morgane was safely inside the car, she looked out the window to see Jamie furiously typing on his phone, she looked away from him. A tear slipped down her cheek, she was really doing this. She had hoped this would be easier, she thought Jamie would’ve been happier for her. She even thought she would be in the car with Jamie right now, hands clasped with his, heading to the airport together… Happy.
“Where to Miss?” The driver ripped her from her thoughts.
“The airport.” She replied, her voice quaked a little, but she cleared her throat and swallowed her thoughts. She had a long journey ahead.
Present day
The winter wind blew harshly through the trees as Morgane pulled her hood up to shield her from the little snowflakes that had started to fall. Her brown locks fell from the back of her neck, where she had pushed it, onto on her cheeks. Morgane sighed and pushed her hair back behind her ears and then stuffed her hands into her pockets. She was on her way to work and the weather was not forgiving. Morgane worked at a flower company. Nothing special, she just made the odd bouquets, she sometimes hung up offers in the window and it was only for the time being, she told herself every morning when she couldn’t be bothered to get up. Just to pay the rent. Just to pay the bills. Just to get through another day at university.
It was the second day after winter break had begun, she needed the break because university was stressful, and her father wasn’t well. Although she wasn’t going home, she regularly called up to check on all her family, it wasn’t enough for Morgane but after what happened with Jamie, it had to be enough. Morgane sniffs the cold air and thinks back to when she left Ireland a year ago, truthfully she thinks about it all the time.
“Morgane!!” a familiar voice shouted from behind her, the voice sounded like they were out of breath and soon enough she could hear the heavy pad of someone’s feet. An arm slung round her shoulder as the owner of the voice slid next to her, the smell of his cologne filled her lungs as she breathed deeply.
“Roman!” she exclaimed when she saw who had called out for her. Roman had been the first friend she made when she first moved to England. At the time he was a teaching assistant for the University she attended, but just before Christmas he quit after his mother passed away. Roman was the last Alfredo alive and their family were known for their herb shop that helped many people. Alfredo herbs was a family owned business that was left to Roman in the will of his mother, he was determined to keep it alive.
Which brings them to present day, as the last couple of months he had been over in Italy sorting out paperwork for his mother’s funeral and making plans for the business to make sure everything went smoothly. Morgane was surprised as she didn’t think he would be back for Christmas and neither did Roman.
“So, what brings you back to these glorious parts of England?” she asked him earnestly, roman moved her gently away from the road. A true gentleman, she thought. She blushed at the thought.
“Well business is booming” he said sarcastically. “Only the regulars come by now and then... and some people who knew my mom before she…” he stopped talking, but Morgane knew what he wanted to say.
“Anyway, there’s so much work to do. You’d think my mom would make it easier after my dad passed, apparently not” Roman sighed as he half joked about the problems he faced. Romans father had passed away 5 years ago, and his brother… he doesn’t really talk about him. All Morgane knew was that, Delphic also passed away 5 years ago.
They stopped walking as Morgane reached her workplace, he opens the door for her, and she smiles as she takes a few steps in. Morgane wipes her feet on the rug that lays Infront of the door and Roman follows her in.
“I’m free tonight, if you wanted a catch up? Maybe figure out our Christmas plans while we’re there?” he asked, as he shook his wet curls. His wet hair glistened under the bright white lights of the florist; his nose slightly red from the cold. The lights were always bright. ‘Better for the plants’ she heard Haseena say in her head, ’the customers can see them much better!’.
Morgane’s heart fluttered in her chest underneath her scarf. Part of her longed to be held and cared for by Roman, but another stronger part of her didn’t want that at all. She wasn’t sure if it was still her mingling feelings for her past lover Jamie, or for how it ended that made her steer clear of love. Besides now, was not the time to be thinking like that after everything he’s been through.
She realised she had spent a minute too long gazing at his face, or maybe she hadn’t, she couldn’t remember how long she had been in her thoughts. Romans face held her attention.
“I finish here at 6pm, if that’s okay with you? We could meet at O’Neil’s?” She asked hopefully, she raised her hands to her head and tussled her slightly damp hair. The place was empty, no-one really came here anymore, there were bigger, better places to shop, but if you wanted custom bouquets, Florish was the place to be. Roman nodded, a genuine smile filled his face.
He walked over to the fresh flowers, he pondered at which ones would be perfect for his mother. Morgane watched as he touched the freesias, the carnations and the lilies. He sighed. Haseena watched him carefully.
“I’ll see you at 6pm then, don’t be late!” he said in a slightly chipper tone. Roman was excited to see his best friend after everything that had happened to him. It had been a while since they had hung out.
Morgane unzipped her coat as she walked over to the staffroom.
“He never gets tiresome to look at des he?” Haseena said with a smirk on her face, I stared at her and shook my head. Roman had been in the shop a few times but had clearly caught the attention of the owner, Haseena.
-
Time went by, and soon enough closing time had arrived for Morgane. She unwrapped the apron from around her waist and placed it in the back of the store. She glanced in the mirror as she passed by and noticed the dark circles under her eyes, nightmares had begun to plague Morgane while she slept. She often thought sometimes they were real, they at least felt real.
“Goodbye Haseena, See you tomorrow!” Morgane shouted as she left the shop, she heard Haseena shout back something inaudible. She locked the shop door, then turned to walk away, Haseena was always the last to leave and she always left from the back. Morgane let out a breath she didn’t realise she had been holding in and watched as her breath burst out her mouth in a white cloud. It was cold.
She wondered what there was to catch up on with Roman, she knew a lot about what had happened recently, what else was there to find out about? They spoke to each other a lot over the phone and through text, she tried her hardest to be there for him.
Morgane entered the pub slowly, she peered around at the tables looking for Roman. The pub wasn’t too busy, but the usual Thursday night karaoke was on, which usually brought a bunch of people out. Tonight, was different though, it was almost Christmas and the night was cold, not enough alcohol in the world would be able to save you from it.
She took off her gloves and slowly unwrapped her scarf from her neck, she placed them in her bag, she noticed Roman in the corner waving to her, he was wedged in a dark brown booth, two drinks already set on the table. A smile spread across her face, he had ordered for her!
“6.10, you’re late” He tutted jokingly, he stood up and welcomed Morgane into his arms. He smelt of Lavender incense sticks and herbs. He must’ve spent the day at his medicinal herb shop, she thought to herself. She ignored his jokey remark and picked up the menu.
“Did you do much today?” She asked him quietly, Morgane wasn’t usually timid, she used to be quite outgoing but after everything that happened with Jamie and the stress of university – it had taken most her joy out of her.
It had been a lonely couple of months without Roman beside her, still she doesn’t blame him for that of course – but she had missed her best friend. She furrowed her brows as she looked at Roman, who had not replied to her question. He was too busy on his phone.
“Hello… Earth to Roman?” she said as she waved her hand in front of his face, she gasped as he grabbed it and looked at her. Morgane wasn’t unfamiliar to his touch, but it just felt different this time, she thought it might have been because he had been away a while. But for whatever the reason, it made her feel uncomfortable. She pulled her hand back down to beside her as Roman let go. Morgane searched his eyes to see if he had noticed the change in touch.
His green eyes pierced her own, his face looked hard as slate, she looked away- embarrassed. Morgane went back to the menu, although she wasn’t feeling too hungry after that. Morgane understood Roman was grieving but he seemed completely different this time.
“Sorry.” Roman uttered when he realised how cold he had been to Morgane, guilt swept over his body, it wasn’t fair of him to be off with her, it wasn’t her fault and he knew that. Roman chuckled and took away the menu Morgane was holding.
“I already got you something, it should be here soon” he smiled reassuringly at her, Morgane blushed and nodded. She cursed to herself as she felt the heat in her cheeks – what was wrong with her today?
“I know it’s not much of an excuse- you know what I mean…” He said slowly, he never said the words. The words being ‘my mother passed’, almost like if he didn’t say it, it wasn’t real. Morgane so desperately wanted to hold his hand in support and tell him that it was okay, but she just couldn’t do it, she felt uneasy tonight.
“Morgane, I’ve been thinking… a lot. I need help at the shop. I have a couple of other friends helping me out, but I can’t rely on them like I rely on you. I trust you.” He stared out into the distance and sipped his beer, Morgane watched him, wondering where he was going with this. “What I’m asking is… If you’ll become my assistant manager at alfredos medicinal herbs and botanicals?” He half asked and half stated.
Morgane stared at him, she tossed the idea over and over in her head. She didn’t have any experience as a manager but how hard could it be? She had told herself that working in a florist wasn’t where she was going to be for the rest of her life. But somehow she didn’t quite imagine working alongside Roman either.
“It will be good pay? You won’t have to live in that dismal flat anymore. My mom left the house to me too. You could stay with me?” He whispered quietly, he moved his drink to the side and held Morgane’s hand. Morgane was silent as she felt the heat of his hand cloak her own. They had been best friends for a year or two now, Morgane knew that this was the extent of her relationship with Roman, but the past seemed to leak into her head whether she tried to contain it or not. She suddenly felt too hot and itchy.
“I really need you now, Morgane.” He squeezed her hand and looked into her eyes hopefully. His face seemed to be less slate-like now, maybe this was what he needed to get off his chest. Morgane looked back at him and pondered the idea in her head… She shook her head to clear her thoughts and Roman frowned softly. A waiter sauntered over with their food, two burgers and fries on the side and Roman thanked him politely as he detached his hand from Morgane’s.
She realised that by shaking her head – he mistook her for declining his offer. Morgane threw her hand to her mouth apologetically.
“No no!” Morgane said quickly with a little laugh. She was honoured that Roman wanted this; however, she had told herself that she never wanted to be in a position where she had to rely on a man. “I would absolutely love to be your partner in crime!..” she spoke softly with a small smile on her face, Roman grinned back immediately – it was just what he wanted to hear.
“But…” she said in a tiny voice not wanting to disappoint him. She watched as the grin fell off his face. “Right now, I will have to decline the offer of living with you.” She said slowly making sure she sounded confident but not matter of factly. Roman frowned again, unsure.
“It’s okay, I understand, you don’t need to explain” Roman responded quickly, he grinned again. “Working with you is enough!” he continued, his smile never faulted. Morgane felt a rush of relief flow through her, glad she didn’t have to explain. Roman had no idea what happened before she got to England and she intended to keep it that way. Jamie was going to stay in the past whether he liked it or not. She smiled widely at Roman and began to tuck into her food. Roman laughed and joined in her. They were both ravenous after a long day.
-
They finished eating after mindlessly chatting about anything and everything when it dawned on Morgane.
“I just need to give my notice to Haseena!” she said suddenly, Roman looked up from his meal and laughed. “I’m sure she will be devasted by my departure” Morgane said sarcastically. Roman laughed again and then downed the rest of his drink. Morgane liked being around Roman and she couldn’t wait to start working with him.
Roman stood up suddenly, his eye had caught something outside. His eyes narrowed and he balled his hands into fists.
“Roman?” she asked him worriedly, the tension in his face was back. Morgane stood up too and looked behind her, what could he see that she couldn’t?
“Okay, sounds great. I have to go, I need to deal with something, but I’ll see you soon?” he replied hurriedly, before she could say anything back, he kissed both her cheeks and squeezed her shoulders. She shuddered again and questioned why she was suddenly feeling this way around him. A thin smile crossed his face before it turned to stone, and then he was gone.
Morgane longed to follow him, to ask him what had happened to make him leave so suddenly but she knew better than to get involved with things that didn’t concern her.
She sighed. Morgane pushed her hair behind her ears then wrapped her scarf round her neck, she wondered what she would say to Haseena about her new job position. Maybe Haseena would be happy for her. She shrugged her coat on and left the pub.
The walk home wasn’t far, just down the road, but it was dark and cold. The wind blew the fallen leaves around her feet as she walked down the street to her flat. The sky was cloudy, ready to snow again or maybe rain.
The rain would wash the little snow that had stuck, to the ground, away. She pulled her bag closer to her and crossed her arms over her chest, the wind was picking up now, she felt the hairs on her arms and neck stick up and a shiver ran down her spine.
Morgane had a weird feeling someone was watching her, but the street was completely empty. Her fingertips felt tingly, this was sometimes how she felt in her nightmares. As she approached her flat, she noticed the front door was wide open, she stopped mid walk and stared at the door, frozen.
Was it open? or was her mind playing tricks on her? It sometimes did that when she was tired, her mind would make her think things were there when they weren’t.
Morgane made her legs carry her forward, the door wobbled in the wind, the hinges creaked and moaned. She nodded to herself, the door was definitely open, she thought to herself.
The door creaked and wobbled in the wind, again as she entered, she noticed the lights in the hallway were off. Morgane inspected the door and saw the latch was on. Bingo! She thought to herself, the door must’ve been blown open by the wind!
Morgane laughed to herself as her heartbeat started to slow once she discovered what had happened. She made a mental note to warn her housemates to take the latch off the door.
Morgane made a bee line for her room, once inside she kicked off her shoes and dropped her keys onto a small ceramic tray. She flicked her fairy lights on and turned the main light off, then she went to the curtains and closed them.
Her room wasn’t too messy, she was a sentimental kind of girl, it was more of an organised chaos. Everything Morgane had, she had for a reason. She flopped on her bed, she played with the ring that sat on her finger and laughed at herself.
Morgane talked a lot about keeping Jamie in the past where he supposedly belonged, but she wore the engagement ring he gave her still.
……….
Flashback
“I can’t believe this is our own.” Morgane said in disbelief, she could not stop her eyes from scanning the entire house, taking in every window and every doorway.
The floorboards creaked under her feet as she walked further in, she could only imagine the memories Jamie and herself would make here. “You hid this from me! But it’s perfect, you know me so well! I’m so lucky!” She exclaimed happily; she had no idea this was going to happen.
She truly was the luckiest girl in the world. Jamie followed closely behind her, a smile plastered to his face, he may have had the tiniest of help from her mother, but Morgane didn’t need to know that. He watched as she felt the marble surfaces in the kitchen and looked at the fridge. This was their first home and the only home they’ll ever have, he thought to himself.
“It really is all ours, and our kids when we have them one day” he replied to her earlier statement, it wasn’t bold of him to assume they would have kids as that was always their plan. They had been together for years; he had followed the steps she had preached… A house, a ring and then children.
“We’re having dinner tonight; your father and mother are invited. They want to see the new place and so do my parents.” Jamie told Morgane as she stared out the window, they had moved into the living room. Jamie came up behind her and placed his arms around her gently, she leaned back into him. They were happy, this was the best thing he could’ve done for her.
“My mom will love this house and my dad will be happy too.” She sighed happily. “Thank you. Thank you for everything. I love you, endlessly.” She turned around in his arms and stood on the tips of her toes to kiss him. He returned the kiss happily and she smiled. She rested her head on his chest and Jamie stroked the top of her head.
“I love you too, endlessly.” He replied and kissed the top of her head. She smelt like roses and apples, he loved her dearly and he couldn’t imagine a day when they would ever be apart. He smiled at the thought, the thought of them together, forever. Morgane moved from his grasp. She grabbed his hand and giggled.
“Let’s go check out the bedroom” she squealed, as she began
