What is your opinion?
The Final Scene Of Our Movie
"I don't usually read much poetry, more of a prose girl myself. You are a really good poet, keep up the fantastic work! Sofia"
Opened my eyes to poetic narratives
"I’m a poetry fan, however I rarely read ballads like this. Mostly I read free verse poetry, so this is new to me. And I Kia stay, I liked it. Although the story could be hard to follow at times I enjoyed the trip the narrative took me on. The story was good. I don’t know if I could say the same for the rhyme scheme. It seemed like the syllable count was off which made me not realize it was a rhyming ABAB scheme until halfway through. Still, this makes me want to peep on some more narrative poetry. Good stuff."
The Final Scene of Our Movie
"Interesting idea and it is extraordinarily difficult to write narrative poetry. The four line stanza is a good choice for this type of poem. I enjoyed the way the ideas moved through the poem and the story unfolded little by little - great 'show not tell' writing. The main flaw is some horribly strained lines to force a rhyme. It would be better to settle for a half rhyme than to twist the grammar. "Patience thinning 'til it opened after thrice" is very laboured, So to a lesser extent is 'until they reached year fifth.' My criticism of the weaker lines is made in the spirit that I hope you'll be encouraged to revisit and tweak something good into something awesome."
