What is your opinion?
Brand New World
"I really like Ava. She seems like a good person. I liked how as a reader I got to learn a lot about her even just throughout the first chapter. I think your descriptive writing is great. I liked your writing style a lot - other than some minor grammar issues - I usually like to read first person story but yours had me wanting to read on."
Interesting Take on Wolves
"The storyline is very interesting and unique. It's quite different from other werewolf stories I've read, especially being set in the future. Ava, the main protagonist, is appealing. She seems very kind with a good heart - something I'm sure our wolf friend can sense. Thus, the reason for him allowing her to be near him. The story is written from a third person present point of view. I'm not used to reading stories in present tense. However, there seemed to be certain points throughout the story where the tense flipped from the present to the past which upset the flow. There were also some areas for improvement to grammar and punctuation, especially in regards to dialogue. You could use editing services like grammarly or AutoCrit to help you with this. Overall, I thought the plot was interesting and I enjoyed reading it. Keep up the good work!"
Good character writing!
"I absolutely loved the character writing. The way this is written really draws you into caring about the characters. The depth of feeling and background given to Ava is great. And so is the connection to the dog. Well done The punctuation and grammar has some issues, but nothing that a little editing can’t correct. The writing style is good too, and the change of POV at the end of the chapter is a good touch to connect us more to the dog. Overall, very well done."
Great start!
"I think you have something really good going here! I love the concept and how you're playing with it so far. I can't wait to learn more about Logan, and Ava definitely has more to her than initially meets the eye - great job developing her throughout the chapter! The worldbuilding is great and unique, and all your characters feel very unique - I really liked Scotty but I can't wait to learn more about the leads. My only piece of criticism revolves around your grammar. I noticed a few run on sentences, so I would suggest playing around with breaking those up. I'm awful for run on sentences in my own writing - I find the best way to help is to read it out loud to yourself - if you find yourself getting out of breath halfway through, that's a good indication you need a period somewhere in there. But that's just me, you do what works for you :) Also, just make sure you end your paragraphs with periods, I noticed a few missing about 2/3rds of the way through. After that paragraph, let me end off on a positive note. I genuinely enjoyed reading through this first chapter! The world is very well defined, and I can tell you've spent a lot of time thinking about it and fleshing it out, so props to you for that! World building is hard and you've done it well. I love your descriptions of everything, it gave me a very clear picture in my head as to what was happening and what everyone looked like, so great job with that as well. Overall I think this story has great potential and I can't wait to see where it goes from here! Great job :)"
