Chapter 1
Terror.
It was like second nature to me, a mockingly bittersweet familiarity. I felt it constantly and it slowly ate me up inside, creating scenarios I doubted would ever exist. Nonetheless, they still irked me.
Panic.
It followed me wherever I went, and it seemed to roll off of me in waves, causing people around me to shudder and avoid me like the plague. Well, almost everyone.
“Brother! If you don’t come out this instant, I swear I will walk through and open the blinds.” It was a harmless threat, one I figured would probably benefit me after being cooped up in my room all day. When I made no indication of moving it was apparently the last straw for my brother. Suddenly Phobos barged inside, tsking in disappointment at what he saw before him.
I was alone, as per usual, wrapped up in a mountain of plush blankets and sitting on my bed. In my hands was a book, the third one this morning, with other novels scattered around my junkyard of a room.
“Reading in the dark again? This is why you can’t see for shit little brother. Though I suppose the glasses do help distinguish who is who.” Phobos raised an eyebrow as he stood at the door, staring at me. We were twin brothers and spitting images of one another, with jet black skin and glowing white hair. Iridescent eyes stared into my own identical pair and I grimaced, turning away from Phobos and closing my book.
So similar, yet so different. Phobos is adored and you… you are forgotten.
“Whatever, why are you here?” I reached for my glasses, a pair of thick lenses with silver frames on my nightstand, putting them on and blinking as my eyes adjusted. I regretted wearing them, however, when I could clearly see the mischievous grin on my brother’s face.
“You’ve spent far too long drowning in fantasies mortals create and not living in reality Dei. Tonight there’s going to be a party in Zeus’ palace–Hera’s birthday you see–and you’re coming with me.” Dread was the only word to accurately describe what I felt in response. I hadn’t been out of Ares’ palace in forever, let alone out to anyone else’s home. Most of Olympus was always thick with tensions and drama, something my powers would only ever aggravate.
I doubted they even remembered my name.
What was wrong with staying in my room anyway? Books were nice, they let me escape to a world where I didn’t exist, where problems were solved through the powers of love and friendship, two things I doubted I’d ever experience. Frowning I rose, shuffling out of my room and past Phobos. I hoped he’d simply let the idea go, but my silence only acted to spur Phobos on.
“Come on Dei! You’ve been alive for millennia, but I can’t think of a single person you call your friend. You’re only ever training for war, fighting in one, or reading some stupid love story–” I spun on my heel then, raising a finger to silence the god of fear.
“They are not stupid, they’re well-written, relaxing stories that aren’t always about romance.”
“Even that one that was practically fairie po–”
“Another word and I’ll rip your head from your shoulders.” Phobos only laughed in response, tossing me an apple once we arrived at the kitchen. I caught it with ease, taking an aggressive bite out of it before fixing Phobos with a glare.
“I’m not going. If it’s in Zeus’ palace that means most of the pantheon will be there… which is a hard pass for me.” I didn’t say anything more, knowing that Phobos already knew the real reason I didn’t want to go.
Because no one would want me there.
Phobos was the god of fear and I was the god of terror and panic. We practically controlled the same emotions, but the key difference was in who and what felt these emotions. When mortals prayed to Phobos he sapped fear from them, giving it to their enemies and ensuring victory. When mortals prayed to me, however, they hardly ever achieved the same result.
Terror and panic had no direction, no way to differentiate friend or foe. They captured every person on the battlefield, leaving them paralyzed in the face of death. When mortals began to notice how praying to me never quite worked, they eventually gave up and turned completely to my brother instead.
Suddenly I was a forgotten god, and it stained the family. What good was a god who couldn’t properly answer prayers? Worst yet, I couldn’t stop terror and panic from constantly rolling off of me in waves, affecting those around me. As a result, no one wanted to come near me, not when it would risk triggering panic attacks and unending terror.
I was a failure, something to be ignored until it slowly faded away, like a lonely tune. I was lucky Phobos’ power could handle my own, or else even my brother would avoid me, not that the rest of my kin didn’t already. Suddenly, the door of our home unlocked, and both Phobos and I stiffened. When we heard the clack of high heels against the marbled floor we both relaxed, already aware of who it wasn’t.
“Baby, you’re up! Come and give mother a hug!” Scratch that, no one would come near me save for Phobos and Aphrodite. My mother walked into the kitchen, lighting up the area with her ethereal beauty, making a beeline for me. I knew not to protest, opening my arms and letting my mother wrap her arms around my waist.
Sometimes I wondered how I was related to her, with her fiery red hair and captivating green eyes strongly contrasting my own dreary features. She was a ray of sunshine next to me, her bright aura clashing with my dull one. I could somewhat see her in Phobos, they both shared the same bubbly personality I was jealous of, but how the hell had I come about?
“Oh Dei baby, did you stay up again? You’ve got terrible dark circles, and you look like you could use some sleep.” Aphrodite practically gushed over me, reaching up to cup her hands around my face with worry. She was already coddling me like I was a child, ignoring the fact that I stood at least an entire foot taller than her. I sheepishly nodded to answer her question, noting that it was a bad idea to start re-reading your favorite series at 1 am.
“Yes, I’m sorry mother, I’ll go to bed early tonight–”
“Nu-uh, not on my watch you won’t. Dei is coming with me tonight, we’re going to Hera’s birthday party.” I shot Phobos a warning look, but there was nothing much you could do to frighten the god of fear, and I only received a smirk in return.
Aphrodite set her bags down, all labeled with expensive brands. She had gone out and bought gifts for tonight’s event, knowing that she would have to impress her mother-in-law. She raised an eyebrow at Phobos’ words, shuffling through her bags to pull out a few groceries she had gotten as well.
“Oh? Is that so? That’s good for you baby. You’ve been cooped up in your bedroom for ages, I don’t even remember the last time you went out.” Aphrodite smiled up at me in delight, the sight making my heart waver a bit. I really didn’t want to go, but now that she was so excited, how could I say no?
“Ah, yes. I forgot. I’m going to this… party.” I said the words with little enthusiasm, watching how Aphrodite brightened up at my confirmation. Phobos held back a snicker, snatching a chocolate bar out of Aphrodite’s hand before she could put it in the pantry. She shot him a scolding look but allowed him to open it anyway.
“Hmm, well your father and I will be getting there early to help Hera get ready, you know how grand she likes her celebrations. I’m sure he’ll be stressed, keeping Zeus and Hera from ripping each other’s heads off.” I didn’t say anything then, knowing perfectly well what she meant.
Ares didn’t acknowledge me and acted as if I was simply a shadow by his side. I didn’t speak to him unless it had to do with an upcoming battle, and even then, it was simply to hear his orders. As far as he was concerned, I didn’t exist. I knew what Aphrodite was really saying as she nibbled on some chocolate she’d taken from Phobos, don’t run into your father.
“Come to my room in a couple of hours little bro, we need to get you freshened up. If I’m gonna be taking you out, you’re going to dress the part.” Phobos’ words brought me out of my gloom, and he gave me a once over, almost as if he was judging my appearance. If not for Aphrodite, I would have attacked him right then and there. Instead, I simply groaned, rubbing my face in my hands and already wishing I could go home.
