Poem 1 - Just to Feel Free
I’ve never touched the fire that blossoms from a candle,
Never touched a breathe of air, though my fingers would say otherwise.
If I had feasted my eyes on some hidden wonder, I’d never close my eyes again. Because I’ve lived. What I would do...
I can die happy, though its too soon.
I would have done all the things I wanted, without reproach or care of things people say.
If I could only take away the pain I’ve carried from events far much further away than today, if I could only forget the ones who’ve been so wrong.
If only I could,
take all the wounds that I have buried deep, lift them high so I can see how far down the roots do go and if my pain, the one I’d tethered, is rooted in rock or in snow.
Then I’d know,
if only my memroies could connect to feelings and time, if only my likes and dislikes were all personally mine. If growing up didn’t make me so down.
I would be free, so free,
if I could take away the weight that comes from truly living, take away the fear of dying, take away the pain of being.
I’d climb out of myself just to have a breathe of full air. With so much to say and so much to do, but neither the hands, nor the thought to do.
If I could just move when I had to,
and speak when I needed to...
If social burdens weren’t a thing - taxes weren’t a thing, exams weren’t a need, if time were but a social construct, I would sit anywhere and live my life out like the sun and the stars.
I feel everything at once...
I hear everything at once...
I am but a speck amongst specks. I don’t want to disappear. But down the rabbit hole that is my mind, maybe freedom can be found. Buried in the Wonderland of thoughts, feelings and emotions, maybe Ill finally have all the time to discover,
the true answer to what am I, what am me?
And what are the things I seek that exist inside me; secrets kept from myself, hidden from I, locked away from me.
What am I? Who am I, when I am alone in a room with no people, no expectations, no desire. What am I and what would I do?
Who would I be then?
