I, Take Thee

January 15, 2000

Mama is so beautiful. She has green eyes, just like her dress. Her dress shines in the light. She always wears nice dresses; they are very soft. She has a ring with a shining stone; she always wears it because it was given by papa. I also have a ring but there is no shining stone on it; mama says it has in-crip-shun; I don’t know what that means. I wear it all the time, it is pretty. Vanya gave it to me on his bird-day. I’m waiting for my bird-day so I can give him a pre-zent. I know he will like it; he is my favorite after mama. Mama braids my hair while I play with my doll.

“There you go princess, all done!” She says with a smile. I love it when she smiles. My mama is perfect. Auntie Natasha comes in the room; she is wearing a pretty dress like mama but it is silver. Her eyes are blue like the sky. She is Vanya’s mama.

“Where is Vanya?” I ask her and she smiles at me.

“He is with his uncle in the garden; why don’t you go play with him?” I give mama and auntie a kiss and leave to find my friend. But there is only Uncle Grisha in the garden, and many, many people.

“Where is Vanya?” I ask him. He smiles at me too; just like Auntie Natasha; they look so similar.

“He is playing with your brother, princess. Why don’t you play with me?” He offers and I nod. We play near the foun-ten for a long time. Papa makes an an-aus-ment while we play and everyone claps. He is looking nice. I wave at mama and she waves back then I see her going away with Auntie Natasha. They are talking.

Suddenly there is a loud noise and bad people in black come out of the trees. They have ma-shin guns like Vanya’s but these are big; they hurt people. Everyone starts running, and shouting; it is very scary. I see papa and he nod at Uncle Grisha while giving me a small smile. But he doesn’t look happy. He also has a gun. Uncle Grisha picks me up and whispers in my ear.

“I’m sorry princess but we have to go.”

“Are we going to see Vanya and Max?”

“No, we are going to see clouds. Do you want to see clouds princess?”

“Yes please.” I smile at him but he looks sad. He walks towards the trees and I look back over his shoulder.

Mama is standing in the garden but she doesn’t look good. She is very white, just like the clouds. Papa is yelling at people while he runs towards mama. Her green dress has red on it. It looks so scary.

“Mama! Mama!” I yell and struggle against Uncle Grisha but he holds me tight.

“MAMA!” I cry and cry and cry but she doesn’t look at me; we are going far, far away from her. Papa is hurting bad people: he is crying too. Mama falls down and he kneels beside her; holding her close but she doesn’t look up at him.

“No! No! let me go! Mama!”

But Uncle Grisha speeds towards the trees and soon we can’t see mama. Uncle Grisha has tears in his eyes but he doesn’t cry.

“It will be okay princess; we will see the clouds.” He says, but I don’t want to see the clouds; I want to see my mama. I feel something poke my neck and it hurts. It hurts so much. My eyes become heavy and I want to sleep.

“I’m so sorry princess.” I hear him whisper just before I doze off.

**********

Chapter Theme:

…With the lights out, it’s less dangerous

Here we are now, entertain us

I feel stupid, and contagious

Here we are now, entertain us

A denial...

~Smells Like Teen Spirit by Malia J (Nirvana cover)