The Birthday Stealer

Have you ever stood by the window and tried to count the millions of lights embedded across your city? Each light lighting its own story.

Ferris Bebounty used to do just that every night before his bedtime while he waiting for his mother to read him some of his favorite myths, or his father to read him an entry from his favorite book, the Encyclopedia. Ferris adopted this habit of counting city lights after he noticed how light bulbs miraculously appeared on top of the heads of his favorite cartoon characters that starred on the Super Duper Toon Time Channel. He started by counting the lights on the boats floating far across his window on Kay Bay, the giant watery mouth of the semicircular landmass area known as Kay City. Ferris also remarked how, during daytime, his home city looked like one of those giant emoticons his friends would text him. By friends he really meant his cousins Ryan and Sherry Rogers. You see, Ferris was a special kind of kid. Not in the way all parents call their kids special and not the same way his cousin Walter was special either. Ferris was born on a special day during the second most special month of the year. In school, we all learn that there are twelve months and 365 days in a year and that each month is typically 30 or 31 days with the exception of February which has 28. It’s not because February is lazy or anything, but it has more to do with the way our planet rotates around the sun. Later on during school, we find out that it’s takes our planet 365 and one quarter of a day. Remember, four quarters make a dollar and so every four years our planet gets one extra special day and since February could use the extra weight, especially after four years of chocolates on Valentine’s Day, the calendar kings decided to tag on that extra day to February during what they call a Leap Year. Ferris was born on that fateful day, February 29th, exactly 2921 days ago. That’s eight times 365 (you remember your long multiplication right?) plus one leap day. Ferris didn’t like counting the quarters per year, since none of his so called school friends did. Ferris preferred to just add the extra day every four years; just like the calendar. Then again, none of his schoolmates answered in the number of days when asked how old they were. Ferris didn’t know if, philosophically speaking perhaps, he was an actual eight-year-old boy or a two-year-old baby.

To make matters even more complicated, Ferris’ birthday parties, whether the real one on the 29th or the fake one on the 28th were usually light in attendance. You see, the National Day and Liberation Day of Kay City fell on the 25th and 26th of February so Ferris’ school typically gave the students the whole week off and families from Kay City loved to travel a lot because they loved to complain how Kay City was so very boring. Ferris knew this, because he loved counting the lights on planes just as much as he loved counting the lights on boats.

Tonight, Ferris had trouble sleeping because it was the 28th of February once again and he was three quarters of the way towards the leap day. This meant that tomorrow would be his real birthday - the 29th of February and that Ryan and Sherry would be coming over to enjoy some fancy birthday cake that his mother, Dr. May Bebounty, had bought from that store with the 31 flavors of ice cream. One for every day of the month with three extra flavors for February and only one extra for April, June, August, and November which Ferris noticed were the names of girls and female teachers in his school. All except November, which had a bakery named after it in the building where Big Uncle Murphy worked. This meant that November too was a girly name, because cakes are for girls.

Ferris never liked cake frankly. Mostly because there was always so much left over after his birthday party and we all know how bad it is to waste food. Think of all those children in Africa that don’t get to eat cake or other sweets. Ferris always found that claim strange since he read in his Encyclopedia that chocolate comes from Africa. Ryan, who was chocolate colored, used to say that children in Africa and other chocolate colored children around the world don’t love sweets as much as vanilla or white chocolate children.

Ryan also hated cakes and found birthdays boring. You see, Ryan was also born on a special day during a not so special month. He was born on the 21st of March - which was when Kay City celebrated Mother’s Day. And while Ryan’s own mother, Susan, made sure to always share the spotlight with her eldest son, Ryan always felt cheated out of his special day. He always wanted everything to be about him or about bowling.

Ferris wondered if Aunt Susan had caught any bad guys recently. You see, Aunt Susan was a police officer for the Kay City Police Department or KCPD. Ryan said she had a gun, badge, nun chucks and everything, but Ferris didn’t believe the nun chuck part since Aunt Susan’s nails were always so shiny and bright colored. He wondered what color they would be tomorrow during the birthday party.

Ferris also hated how his father, Dr. Hank Bebounty, would invite all his grandparents, aunties and uncles. The adult to kid ratio was totally out of whack. Plus, Ferris would have much rather had his party at Boumi’s beach house. Ah yes, Boumi was what Ferris’ grandmother was called, but only by Ferris, Ryan, Sherry and Sam, that is, if Sam could talk yet. You see, Boumi was not from Kay City originally and was from a place called Lux City and Sam... Sam was Ferris annoying baby brother, who seems to be sometimes from another planet altogether. Such a big baby. Born on a not so special day in a not so special month - the 17th of November. A girly month to boot.

Ferris decided to stop his counting for the night. He had barely reached above 3,000 and was nowhere near his record of 11,347. No more counting sheep either tonight. Ferris decided to simply close his eyes and keep his mind blank. He would let the empty blackness of his mind surround him and spill out into his bed, cover his room, the living room, Sam’s room, his parents room, the entire apartment, the entire building, the entire block until the blackness covered the whole neighborhood. There would be no lights on tonight in this part of Kay City.