Chapter One
“Well, I guess I’m just going to have to get an abortion. I can’t believe that my birth control didn’t work! I’m going to sue that fucking company. They say that they’re 100% guaranteed!”
I’m sitting up in my bedroom, unable to sleep and listening to my mother talking to my stepfather. I hadn’t gotten a full meal tonight before Edward threw it on the floor when he found out that I’d gotten suspended from school…again.
Honestly, how is it my fault that they hire the most incompetent teachers that can’t seem to fact-check anything? Yes, Black Wall Street was a thing. Yes, racist shitheads committed a massacre there. Yes, it was for the purpose of keeping the black man down. No, I will not sit here and listen to you say that black people were unskilled and uneducated and didn’t have the ability to pull themselves out of the situation that slavery put them in, so they had no choice but to get low wage jobs. That might have been true for some, but definitely not for all. You’re a fucking history teacher. Shouldn’t you know this? Maybe you’re the uneducated one. Yes, I know the way to the principal’s office.
I can’t believe Mom’s pregnant. If only she were able to keep it.
Overpopulation in this country - well, the world really - has caused there to be an international law: one kid per family. That’s it. Any more is too much a drain on our resources. Not enough farmland, clean water, or clean air to produce more. For the longest time, people thought that greenhouses were the answer, but they require sunlight and smog covers the sun most of the time. Heating lamps require electricity and rolling black outs make that hard to maintain. Genetically modified food that could survive on less light and nutrients and dirtier water sources could only provide as much as the ground they are grown on and when that is in limited supply…well, you get the picture.
The only way to solve the crisis is to reduce the number of people in the world. We can’t say that people can’t have kids. There’s a lot of ethical issues around telling certain people that they can’t have kids and other people they can. Though, governments made very attractive offers to young men and women to sterilize themselves with free housing for the rest of their lives. Hard to turn down when you never know when inflation will cause that gallon of milk to go from $10 to $30 because of a blight on the almond crop. There are very few real animal products or animals for that matter. Dogs, cats, cows, chickens, everything really all went the way of the dodo. If there isn’t food to feed people, there definitely isn’t food to feed animals.
Most of our “meat” is grown in test tubes. And that is so expensive that it was rarely available to anyone but the super rich. So, out of necessity, we are all vegetarians. Super healthy, you would think. It probably was before pollution and overpopulation took over the world. Now? The genetically modified crap that we all were eating is hard on the digestive system, makes you sluggish and often causes weird birth deformities, causing many babies to be nonviable and spontaneously aborted in utero.
Unless you were my mother apparently. This was her fourth pregnancy in as many years. The doctor’s kept wanting her to be sterilized, but my stepfather, Edward, refused. And with my mom, anything ole Eddy-boy wants, Eddy-boy gets.
Thank whatever deity is still listening that abortions and aftercare are completely covered by insurance because of the population. Otherwise, I don’t know what they would have done. It’s a felony to have more than one kid. They both would have gone to jail, the house taken away, and me put up for adoption.
Yeah, that’s not the same as it was before either. Adoption used to mean that a family would take you in, love you, and treat you the same as another family member. Now, it makes you more of a maid or a slave in someone’s house. The family is given ownership of you. They had to feed, clothe, and educate you. In return, you took care of the family. Some adopted kids were built-in nannies. Those were the cushiest jobs. You were basically a big brother or sister. Sometimes teenagers were adopted by a corporation and used as labor in hotels, restaurants, or stores. They lived in huge dorms and were bused to and from school and their jobs. That’s it. Some adoptees watched over elderly people, kind of like a hospice job.
The adoption ended when you turned 18 and you were put out in the world with a stipend and short-term housing from the government for one year. Many of those kids ended up on the street shortly after their time was up in housing and were found dead not long after. One way to reduce overpopulation.
Edward had threatened many times to put me up for adoption. He never liked me. See, I was the product of my mom’s first love. Dad was apparently this really great guy that got cancer from a bad bit of test tube “meat.” Nearly a million people died that year from a fast growing, untreatable cancer whose cells were easily traced back to a particular company that had mysteriously disappeared soon after that meat went on the market.
There obviously was a huge uproar in the community. One million people dead in our country alone, of course people were pissed. It was obviously a government plot. There’s no way that number of deaths could have been so widespread and then the company just up and disappear without a trace. But with 10 billion people in the world, one million dead helped us get closer to our goal of 7 billion. So, it was swept under the rug.
I was two when my dad died. I have a vague memory of a man’s voice that I can’t place calling my name, but that could just be wishful thinking.
By the time I turned six, Mom had met Edward. He and Mom had a whirlwind romance, meeting and marrying in six months. He seemed like a nice guy at first. I guess they all do. He took us virtual fishing, movies at the indoor park, and even had tea parties with me for hours.
But that didn't last long. See, I’ve always been a precocious child. I knew things that most kids my age either had no interest in or just plain didn’t care about. Things that I would correct Edward about. Things that would get me in trouble at school for because I would correct the teacher. Things that got me labeled as a loud-mouthed smart ass. And that really cool guy quickly disappeared.
Now at 11, Edward can’t stand me. Feeling’s mutual. To borrow an insult I just read in an old book, “I hope he takes a long walk off a short pier.”
But, even with all the animosity between us, I can’t believe the next thing that I hear out of his mouth.
“I think we should keep it.”
There’s a beat of silence as my mom and I both process this.
With a nervous giggle, Mom says, “We can’t…we have Brianna.”
“I know that. I think we should send her to an adoption agency. Cut all ties with her and have our own baby,” Edward says as if he’s talking about the fact it’s supposed to rain later.
“What?” Mom at least sounds a bit angry. “N - no. No! Bree’s my daughter. I’m not putting her up for adoption.”
“This baby is yours, too. And if you have this baby, I’ll agree to the sterilization. I’ll even get sterilized myself,” Edward says and I can just envision the coercive smile on his lips.
Oh, the sly bastard. He knows how much each the mutliple abortions have killed my mom. How she’s grieved for each lost child, knowing that she could never keep them, but wanting to anyway.
I bet this was his plan the whole time, not allowing the sterilization for Mom, putting her through all those abortions to wear her down so that he could convince her to have his kid and get rid of me. What a prick!
The silence that follows his statement kills me. It’s telling me that Mom is thinking about it. That she can’t help but want this so badly that she’d give me up. I know that I’ve caused her a lot of trouble because of just being me, but I thought that she loved me. She told me that she did every day. She told me that I needed to keep being me. I’m smart and tough and persistent. She said that’s just what this world needs, especially now. It was people like me who would be able to turn our world around and make it like it used to be.
By putting me into the adoption system, she was pretty much guaranteeing that I wouldn’t be anything in this world but a statistic.
While both Mom and I are thinking, Edward presses his obvious advantage. “All she does is cause us trouble. She’s constantly getting punished at school and her suspensions cost you time off work. How many jobs have you lost because you had to go deal with her shit? Plus, by putting her in the adoption center, she’s guaranteed food, a place to stay, and a good education. And we’ll get a payment that will cover all of the baby’s needs for the first six months, plus your doctor’s bills. It’s a win/win for everyone.”
“But, Gavin - “ Mom starts by bringing up my dad and I know that’s when I’m lost. If the only thing stopping her from giving me up is my dead father, I'm as good as given to the system.
“Would want you to do what’s best for you and Bree,” Edward interrupts. “You know I’m right.”
Another pause and I almost don’t stay by the door. I don’t want to hear my mom say that she’s willing to give me up. I don’t want to know that whatever love she had for me is so easily swayed. But, just like looking at a car accident on the side of the road, I can’t look away. I have to hear her say it.
“Ok,” Mom says in a small voice and I feel my whole world crumble. “But we have to keep Bree until the baby is born. I want to make sure that I don’t sign over my rights as her Mom until we know that this baby is going to survive.”
“Done,” Edward says and I can hear the glee in his voice. “We won’t even tell her until you start to show.”
That’s when I do move away from the door. As quietly as I can, I empty out my backpack and start packing some clothes and other necessities. Once they’ve gone to bed, I get my toiletries, some of the food coupons, and whatever money I can scrounge up. I’m not staying here just to find out if I’m going to be the contingency kid or not. They don’t want me? Fine. I’m gone.
