Blackout

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Summary

TW: rape I wrote this free form poem after I survived sexual violence. Writing has been one of the few ways to cope with the pain. one-sided longing oh may this pass, too don't you worry naive girl, merely your soul cries.

Status
Complete
Chapters
1
Rating
n/a
Age Rating
16+

Blackout

This huge suffocating carpet above me

It’s a grey t-shirt, stains of ethylic sweat you evaporated

Widows of white wine

Expanding on your unexperienced chest;

Suffocating is your silhouette over me – like a somber sky

Laying over my mind

Whispering words of unreciprocated passion

Bleary, threatening

Black the next morning, out

Over and out.

Flashing airplanes, whistling over the land, desolated

Countryside-like, humid air – summer may arrive

Flashing thoughts, lightnings, connections of

Slowed Down

Annihilated

Neurons

- When did the music cease?

No fence bordering the before and after and I

Make music with breath exiting my lips

Thick layer of nicotine on my brown lips and you

Enjoy my music more than I do, I guess

You taste it, passing of time

Once adagio, then crescendo

Bleaching memories of the night of the seasons

I can’t see your face

Never thought you were this tall

Never thought I’d have difficulty recognizing a friend

Oh well, a friend

The pulling of a rope behind my forehead

My eyelids mechanical

Focus

Focus now

Don’t just be able to see

You need to look

To understand

You don’t need new glasses, it’s the alcohol

You also don’t need a new soul, don’t you worry

Naïve girl

While it may have abandoned you for a night

This huge suffocating sky

Embracing without consent

One-sided longing

Oh this may pass, too

Don’t you worry naïve girl

Merely your soul cries.

I’ve got glue for you

You might need it

- Asking zigzagging crows for their memory

Blind, black, following their instincts

Sensing the danger of the thunder lasting one night

They ain’t got clues for you

Embarrassed laughter

- When shall we clap?

Not yet

The violinist still breathes the vibration of their last note

You should enjoy that moment too, you know

Moment of uncertainty

Awaiting

What, the end?

To return to your lukewarm homes

Satisfied

Your thirst is over, you consumed

The water I will need to wash my wounds;

The courage to ask what happened after

The pre-concert of a teenage boy cover band.