To be honest, man, I didn't finish it. Not my cup of tea if ya get my drift. The concept is cool but just not something I would sink my teeth into. I think this is because there wasn't enough drama. Also, the whole thing with the guy being younger: interesting but I want more. All I really know about the main character is that he's a slut basically and he misses his one true love. Great, but WHY. The dream thing is cool but comes to quickly.
Read the story now
And the whole thing between reality and dream world was bloody confusing. And then the guy becomes a murderer? Whoa. O.K.: I take it back. LESS drama. Things happened too quickly and were too unbelievable.
Good luck in your writing career. Hopefully one day you'll be recognized. If you already are, pat yourself on the back. You made it, man. Welcome to the party.