casually_depressed

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Normal people scare me

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Slightly Confusing

I honestly love the plot and idea of this story, and I want to applaud you for your execution.

But I will say that the beginning 4ish chapters were a little hard to follow as the time jumped around a lot and characters just kind of popped up out of nowhere with little explanation.

Another thing is that you can be overly descriptive. I know that a lot of time people don't describe enough, but at some points, you just went overboard and it sounded almost like a list of things instead of a nice paragraph. Just a note.

I honestly did really enjoy the book so far though, and I can't wait to see what you do with it!

(sorry this took so long, I had school and homework)

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Sex Therapy

A really good plot line[as usual] but I did notice a few grammatical and punctuation errors throughout the whole story. As a perfectionist, it bothered me a lot, and I just wanted to bring it to your attention authornim. As stated earlier though, the story is really good and all the character introductions were seamless.
I'm really quite impressed, though I've followed you on WattPad for so long that I shouldn't be, so keep going with everything you feel inspired to do!

~~Much love <3

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The Paper Mill

Overall, I very much enjoyed the beginning of the story. The only thing I would say is that there was way too much going on at the end. Between the killing and all the large descriptive words, I can see somebody getting very confused.
Another thing is that the change for Adam is too fast. One minute he's a clumsy guy crying because he was fired, the next he murdered the boss. Maybe instead of him being sad about being fired, make him more angry to create a better transition.

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