“NEGLIGIBLE”
I am very common, but still had something very unique. Every other person has their own love story, I too have but still different from anybody and today you are going to know about it, lucky you!
My story started at early age and also ended at early stage. It all started when we moved to 11th standard after 10th. A fresh new batch of science students, a very new atmosphere for everybody. Suddenly we were surrounded by strangers and he was one of them. It’s not like I never saw him before, he was from another section so our interaction was ‘negligible’ but being in same section still doesn’t change our condition, we started talking after a whole year.
11th was started and after few days, by coincidence or by god’s grace, he sat beside me for a whole lecture of 40 min! But we only spoke few times. I can so feel the tension between us and I am pretty sure he can feel it too. I was trying to start conversations but every time it ended after few lines. Those 40 minutes were equivalent to 40 hours. Silence was eating me and I was dying to bite my nails but due to impression I wanted to give to him I controlled my twitching fingers. I was constantly looking at the table, trying to hide my blush. Butterflies were tickling my stomach and spine was giving me constant chills. It’s the worst yet best feeling in the universe. My glands started secreting extra hormones and I just wanted to run, so I did as soon as I heard the bell.
That was the first and last interaction we had in 11th standard. For next few months we were just stealing glances. Sometimes I caught him, sometimes he caught me. To say he was good at what he was doing was an understatement and on the other hand I was struggling with my health. After 6 months I come to know that he had already made a girlfriend from another school and they are pretty happy.
Honestly I wasn’t angry, just a little frustrated because all my previous crush too ended just like this. I was now familiar to this feeling. I started ignoring him, avoiding him, trying to show my anger. But after another 6 months of avoiding him, everything changed.
Now 12th was starting and by now everybody’s seat was pretty fixed. One morning when I entered classroom I saw him sitting beside my seat which was too strange to digest but without making seen I made my way to my seat.
“Maybe you are on a wrong place” I tried to talk to him, but he looked forward by saying he was on the correct place.
After 2 lectures he suddenly spoke, “you already know about my bad breakup, right?” which I did.
“And your point is? Why are you sitting here today? You know this will change nothing, right?” I was still trying to show my anger to him.
“This will change everything, trust me” why do I always had to mesmerize by his eyes? Shit!
“you know what this means” I was still trying to sound logical but this young boy looked so determined, I was melting from inside.
He reached out for my hand, put my one palm between his both “yes, I do”. It sounded like a confession, like a bold statement and I was filled with so many questions. What happened to his ex? How did they break up? Why he is showing interest in me now? What happened 6 months ago? Is he planning to play with my heart? Or he is making fun of me?
“Even if you do, I still had so many questions. I am so confused but honestly I wanna give it a shot” I truly spoke from my heart. He smiled at me and told me that he is glad. We interlocked our fingers and sat like this for whole day. We were smiling, giggling, laughing and I was pretty sure everybody noticed us. I actually had a great time. We were on the way to a café nearby. I wanted ask all my unanswered questions to him. We were still holding hands and smiling at each other like stupid teenage couples which we were except the couple part. Nothing was official.
When we were crossing road, we were hit by a crazy truck and lost our lives. If you think that it was better for us that we never were together, I was glad I died with him. I think it was worth it. Only regret is that we should have spend more time with each other, it was ‘negligible’ compared to other couples.
