Till Death

My father’s words ring in my ears. “You’re getting married Clare; you have to do this. It’s for our family. You marry him and you’ll be doing your part to take care of us.”

“Married? Dad, I only just turned eighteen two days ago! I’m still a teenager I can’t get married!” I state in total disbelief at him.

Dad rakes a hand over his face. “Clare, you know the troubles I’ve been having, the one you’ll be marrying will clear my debts.” He pauses and his eyes linger on mine. “Think of Sarah.” Of course, he’d bring my little sister into all this. “You don’t want her to grow up in fear, do you?”

“Of course not! I had to grow up like that and I hated it.” I tell him truthfully. “But you’re asking me to be someone’s wife, to tie myself to another for the rest of my life. I need time to come to terms with it.” I say simply.

Dad sighs. “Well, you only have about twenty minutes, he’s on his way to get you now.”

I gasp. “Please tell me that’s a joke! Dad, twenty minutes and then I’m what, gone from our lives forever?” I begin to sob.

“Not forever, my girl. You just won’t be living here anymore. We’ll stay in touch, and you can see Sarah as much as you like.” He only wants me to spend constant time with Sarah because I’m his free babysitter so he can go off gambling away money he doesn’t have I shake my head at him. “Dad, if I do this. If I am the bargaining chip to clear your dept, then there is to be no more gambling, you can’t put Sarah through what you’re doing to me.” I tell him firmly.

“Cross my heart.” He says, doing the action with his index finger. Not a single part of me believed his words. That’s what’s brought me to here and now, frantically tossing my clothes and sentimental possessions into bags. A knock comes to my bedroom door. “Clare!” Sarah’s little whine comes. “Daddy says you’re moving out, that you’re going to go live with your husband and have a family.”

A family? I gulp. This is news to me.

“I don’t want you to go, Clare!” Sarah whines. I crouch down and pull her into a tight hug. “I don’t want to go either.” I say to her. “I’ll miss you far too much.” I saw quickly before she gets the idea that this is against my will.

A knock comes to my bedroom door. “Yeah, come in Dad.” I call out, not wanting to let go of Sarah just yet. The door opens and in steps someone who definitely isn’t my dad. He’s tall and well built, with bulging muscles and tattoos that ran down his arms coming out of his t-shirt sleeves. He had dark brown hair and light blue eyes, his eyebrows thick and tamed. He had a thick, well-maintained beard that was a few shades lighter than his hair. The man wore black collared t-shirt and grey slacks. On his right wrist he wore a big gold watch and around his thick neck hung a chain that matched.

“Clare.” He says firmly. “Are you ready?”

This is him? This is who I am to marry? “I... I am... yes.” I stutter nervously, he was intimidating to the max. I hug Sarah closer to me. His eyes narrow on me for a second before he shakes his head and turns on his heel. “Come.” He orders as he walks away. I reluctantly let go of Sarah and stand up straight again. I turn and quickly gather my bags.

“Noo.” Sarah complains. “You can’t go with him, he seems mean!” I know he does, but I have to do this, I tell myself. “I’m sure he’s perfectly nice.” I tell Sarah even though I don’t believe my words myself. “I have to go now, baby girl.” “Nooo. Just stay. Don’t go.” Her eyes begin to water as she stomps her foot at me.

I sigh, my eyes beginning to water as I watch her get upset. “I have to baby girl.” I walk out the bedroom, knowing I won’t be able convince her, and head down the hall towards the front door.

The man is standing in frame of the open front door, his face is stone and serious. He sees me approach and looks unimpressed with me.

My dad standing to the left of the door with a sorrow filled face. I can hear the sobs coming from my bedroom from where I’d left Sarah, my heart clenched.

I stop when I’m standing in front of my future husband. “Ready.” I say in a quiet voice.

“Do you want to say goodbye?” He asks gruffly, he looks down at his watch almost impatiently as if he had better places to be, which I’m sure he does.

I turn my head to look at my dad. “I’ve said all there is to be said.” I turn back to look at the man in front of me. The man nods. “Let’s go then.” He turns around and steps onto the front porch.

I follow after him as he walks down the porch steps and into the pouring rain. I get to about halfway up the path when I hear Sarah screaming behind me.

“Clare!” She cries. “Clare, don’t go!”

I turn my head to see her running down the porch steps.

Her tiny body is soaked within seconds as she runs towards me. Turning around I walk towards her. “Baby you have to go back inside.” I tell her.

“Don’t go Clare. Stay. Please don’t go.” She cries, clinging onto one of my legs with her little arms I feel the weight of my bags being taken away from me. And I turn my head to see my future husband taking them from me.

“Two minutes.” He tells me.

I nod my thanks to him before picking Sarah up and quickly carrying her up the porch. I set her down on her feet again and kneel in front of her. “Baby girl, I have to go. It’s time for me to go, I’m an adult now and adults cannot stay with their families forever.” I say softly to her. “I’m going to miss you, and I know it’s going to be hard but you’re going to be ok.”

Sarah sniffles through a sob. “Don’t go. Don’t be an adult just yet. Stay with me longer.” She pleads with me. “It doesn’t work like that baby girl, I wish it did, but it doesn’t. I will come and see you as often as I can though, and I’ll call all the time.” I promise her. “And you’ll have dad.”

I look up to see him standing in the doorway behind Sarah. “He’s going to look after you now.” I say directed more at dad than at Sarah, reminding me of his promise to me.

Dad gives a small nod.

“You need to go inside now, get warm and dry so you don’t catch a cold. OK?” Sarah shakes her head at me. “No don’t go!”

I kiss the tip of her nose before kissing her forehead, tears rolling down my cheeks now. “Dad, you have to take her.” I say knowing she’ll stay out here screaming and crying till she’s blue in the face if he doesn’t take her inside. I stand up and back away from her as dad steps forward to pick her up. “I love you baby girl, be good for me.”

Sarah starts screaming and sobbing loudly as dad moves to head inside. I turn around, forcing myself to walk away from her as I begin sobbing too. “Clare!” She screams. “Clarrrrreeeee!”

I push my legs to keep going until I come to a Bentley SUV that sticks out like a sore thumb in this neighborhood. I quickly climb into the front passenger's seat, my elbows resting on my knees as I lean forward to hold my face in my hands, sobbing softly.