Sinful Delights

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It all started with a childish lie, a promise broken without thinking about the consequences. A brilliant deception that tied my hands and feet with invisible vines of affection. I let myself get carried away by the excitement of the unknown, and ended up being trapped in a confusing web of illusions from which I can't free myself. Now it's too late, I have no way of going back and undoing everything that happened.

I'm scared, I feel like an animal caught in a trap, in agony. What will my future be like? How will I manage to live somewhere else far from here? I've never left this archipelago. I've never seen the world. I've never seen skyscrapers that are bigger than a mountain. Nor the desert covered in scorching golden sand, let alone the snow-covered land where winter defeats the heat of the sun. For me, the world ended at the horizon, where the sky touches the sea. That was the end of the world, that was where my mother's spirit rested.

Soon I'm going to discover the lands that the horizon hides. I'm going to a faraway place that I haven't memorized the name of. I only know that it's a cold place, where the sun is too weak to warm the ground and the air. I try to imagine what it would be like, but nothing comes to mind. My mind is numb and I can't think. How am I going to survive in a strange place on my own? I feel like a plant about to be plucked from the ground and placed in a beautiful vase to decorate someone's house. I don't know if I can live trapped in a mansion, no matter how beautiful it is. I don't know if I can spend my days watching life happen through a window.

I was born to run free through the woods. I'm part of this island, just like tiger sharks, seagulls, and sloths. My feet are rooted here, just like the giant palm trees. My heart beats with the waves that break on the beach, and my life flows in the crystal-clear water of the springs. This is my world, this is who I am.

I take a deep breath as my vision blurs the line where the blue sky touches the sea. I feel the cold sea foam wet my feet, burying them in the sand. I look up and see that a few clouds cover the sky. The sun shines shyly in the early hours of the morning, covering the waves with its golden glow. Its warmth caresses my skin while the salty breeze whips my hair. The wind tries to lift my skirt and tangle it between my legs, playing with my calico dress to distract me. The leaves of the palm trees sing in the wind, making a chorus along with the waves breaking on the beach. I pick up a small shell that a wave gave me and press it to my chest, trying to comfort the pain that cuts my heart in half.

I only have a few minutes left. Soon, I will no longer see the landscape that has accompanied me since my first breath. I won't be able to swim in the ocean among the fish, climb trees and run through the forest, or bathe in the small waterfall in the heart of the island. I won't be able to smell the rich aroma of Mama Chica's corn bread or hear her complaints when I made a mistake when frying acarajé. She always said:

“Isis, you've got your head in the clouds again! Try to put your feet on the ground. Life isn't made for running through the woods and swimming in the sea like a wild Indigenous woman. It's made up of hard work. Take care, girl!”

She was the only person who took care of me after my mother died. If I had listened to her advice, if I hadn't lied to her, maybe things wouldn't have turned out like this.

“Stay away from the rich white people on the island, they have no word. Get out of their sight. Don't draw attention to yourself. There's no safe place in the white world for people like us.”

I didn't believe Mama Chica's advice, I thought she was mistaken or exaggerating about the white people on the island. Deep down, I wanted to believe Raoul's words, who said he wasn't concerned about someone's color or poor background. He's not like other white people, he loves me just the way I am, and he's promised to stay with me no matter what.

I don't know how I'm going to be able to stay away from him, it's like they're ripping a piece out of me. I feel like shouting that I don't want to leave, but the promises I've made choke my voice. I can't go back on my word, no matter how terrified I am. As much as I want to run away and hide in the safety of my room, I can't let him down. I'll make any sacrifice for him. As much as people say I'm being naive, that I'm blinded by love, every fiber of my body loves him.

I feel so fragile and vulnerable. I feel all my courage drain from my body, mix up with the fine golden sand of the beach and be carried away by the waves of the sea. Once again, my vision blends the blue-green waters of the infinite sea with the clear blue sky. I take a deep breath and raise my head to gather what little courage I have left. I close my eyes and whisper a prayer to Iemanjá, Queen of the Sea, Great Mother, Protector of the Houses

“Divine Mother, protector of fishermen and ruler of humanity, give me your protection. You are the force of nature, beautiful Goddess of love and kindness, give me your courage and strength to face my destiny and give me the opportunity to return to the people I love! May I pass this ordeal unharmed and return to Raoul’s arms. May your will be done. Odoya!”

I feel the gentle sound of the ocean waves cradling my body along with its cool breeze. It’s my sea mother telling me: “Everything will be okay”. I am flooded with her strength. Intoxicated with peace and hope, my heart is soothed. But all the warmth is snuffed out by the deep, dark voice of my new owner.

“It’s time to go, Isis.” Ivan says.

A shiver ran down my spine as his breath caressed my ear and his calloused hands touched my shoulders. I was so lost in my thoughts that I didn’t notice his approach. My heart skipped a beat at the sound of his eerie voice, my legs began to tremble and my body stiffened.

Ivan Volkov, I have never met a man so tall, so strong, with such an imposing, dangerous aura that shatters the courage of everyone around him. He looks like a horrible demon with strange inscriptions and drawings on his muscles. He never smiles, and the few words he speaks are like orders that everyone has to obey. The sound of his voice made me feel emotions I had never felt before. I am out of breath, dizzy and shaking, my stomach is churning, my knees are weak, and my heart is beating so fast that my chest hurts. I’m scared of what he makes me feel.

I look at him in astonishment, I have no answer, much less a thought. My mind seems to empty as I look at him. His eyes have colors I have never seen before. They look like the dark sky and the roaring sea on a cold, stormy day, swallowing you up if you look into it. They fascinate and scare me at the same time.

He wiped a tear from my cheek with the tip of his thumb and then took me by the hand. I saw a hint of tenderness in his icy eyes, but it disappeared when he spoke.

“The time for tears and goodbyes is over. We have to leave, Kore, let's go.”

He put his hand on my waist and held me close. Even though my mind cried out to escape, my body refused to listen, drawn by his magnetic pull. Without questioning, I followed him toward the harbor. With every step I took, my heart broke into tiny pieces, leaving a trail of my sadness and silent tears along the way. I let him lead me to the yacht. But I stopped at the entrance and looked back. I was hoping that Raoul would save me at the last minute. As if frozen, my foot no longer moved.

“He's not coming to say goodbye. It's a part of the deal, come on.”

He is right. Raoul is not coming to rescue me. Business is more important than feelings in the white man’s world. It was naive of me to think that at the last-minute, Raoul would break the deal and come to take me back.

I look at Ivan, no longer able to hide my pain. His cold gaze isn't upset or angry. I know he's being patient with me. I'm testing the limits of this dangerous man by suffering for another man in front of him. I try to swallow my sobs and let him guide me. He takes me to the yacht's flybridge and glues me to the sofa with the best view of the sea. I feel like a fish out of water. The yacht's luxurious facilities don't go well with my shabby calico dress.

I hear the engines roaring and the starting whistle blowing. The shrill whistle stabs me in the heart over and over again until the yacht starts to pull away from the shore. I watch the island slowly disappear.

Nothing will ever be the same again! My feet will no longer be dirtied by the fine, golden sand of the beach. The breeze that kisses my skin will no longer be so salty, and the sounds of the sea and palm leaves will no longer lull me to sleep. I feel a part of me crumbling like the soil that comes away from the root of an uprooted plant and is lost forever.

I don’t know how I will survive without my roots and all alone. I don’t know how I will be able to bear to be away from Raoul. How could I live without his smile, his kisses, his touch? What have we done to deserve such a cruel fate? Is it a sin to fall in love with someone when you come from two different worlds?

Mama Chica’s advice to me was to stay away from Raoul. He is the boss’s son, and the boss’s son will never have a proper relationship with a semi-indigenous orphan adopted by their maid.

A whirlwind of doubt simmered in my mind and a feeling of desperation gnawed at my stomach, choking my throat.

‘Does Raoul really love me? Or is he just using me? If so, why did Raoul ask me to seduce Ivan for a business deal? How did Ivan come to be my owner?’

My head began to spin with questions I didn’t know how to answer. I didn’t go to school and I can’t read right. I do not understand how powerful people do business and their laws. All I can do is believe in Raoul. He told me that it would be difficult to break through the barriers of social status and wealth. But if I help him close this deal, one day we could be together.

But the fear and hopelessness that Mama Chica’s eyes showed in the last few months do not leave my head. She didn’t argue with me, she just prayed and made offerings to the Orixás, asking them to protect the path I was going to take. I tried to tell her that everything was fine, that she didn’t understand my relationship with Raoul, but she smiled sadly and said:

“We love in a simple way, we give ourselves completely without guaranteeing or promising. People like the boss’s son think that love is a game where the only option is to win, and that’s a game that you do not know how to play. I will ask the Orixás, to be your protectors on the path you are on. It is my wish that you find your happiness.”

Mama Chica’s sad words echoed in my head again and again. I can’t stop questioning myself: Did I do the right thing in trusting Raoul so blindly? Was Raoul really incapable of standing up for me in front of his family? Why is he too weak to fight for our love?

No, I must not question it! In time, he will be free of his father’s control, and we will be able to live happily together on the island. I must trust Raoul. I must believe in our love. He will fight for me and save me when he takes over the family business. It’s just a matter of timing and strategy, as he said! The reason he is not saying goodbye is that he is suffering, like me. That’s it! I have to have faith! No matter what people say, he loves me!

“Raoul loves me, I have no doubt, he will come and save me and end this torment. He loves me, and he will come for me.”

I close my eyes and mutter these words to myself several times. But nothing I say can control the pain that is eating away at my chest. I sit with my head resting on my arms and my knees in a fetal position. I need to stop this pain that is stabbing my heart like a sharp knife.

Ivan’s voice speaking Russian to his subordinates and the sound of the yacht’s engine disappeared, as if I were enveloped in a bubble of my despair. My repetitive mantra dominated my mind.

‘He loves me, no matter what people say, he will come, I don’t have any doubts, he will come, he loves me, he will save me from this nightmare.’

I raise my head and look for the island to see myself for the last time. But I find myself surrounded only by blue-green water. I stand up and ran to every edge of the upper deck, trying to find the archipelago in the immensity of the sea. The archipelago had disappeared forever.

“No, no, no, no, let me go back, I don’t want to go!!! Stop the ship, stop the ship, please!!!”

I saw Ivan approaching. Desperate and trapped, I tried to jump into the ocean. But Ivan grabbed me before I could. Like a caged beast, I struggled and cried out.

“Let me go! I hate you. I want to go back! Let me go, you monster!”

But he held me easily. My scratches, punches, kicks, and screams had no effect on him.

“Calm down, Isis. It is not my intention to hurt you.”

His strength dominates my will. I submit, exhausted and restrained. He squeezes me against his chest, my body shaking with my panting and sobbing. I grab his shirt with my hands and bury my face in it to muffle my cries of pain. He strokes my hair and whispers words I don't understand. All I can feel is a sting in my arm and a strange numbness that spreads through the rest of my body. A strange emptiness overwhelms me, as if all my blood had been drained, leaving my heart hollow and hopeless.

I hear Ivan talking to someone, but the sounds are distorted and muffled.

My body began to grow numb as hopelessness took hold of me.

“Есть более эффективные способы утихомирить дикую кошку, отец.”

[“There are more effective ways to quiet a wildcat, father.”]

“Я не обижаю невинных женщин.”

[“I don’t hurt an innocent woman.”]

“Невинных? Она вцепилась тебе в лицо когтями, как дикий ягуар! Ты должен был позволить ей броситься в море, чтобы покормить акул!”

[“Innocent? She clawed your face like a wild jaguar! You should have let her throw herself into the sea to feed the sharks!”]

“Следи за своим языком, Андрей!”

[“Watch your tongue, Andrei!”]

“Мой отец прошел путь от опасного мафиози до активиста PETA. Даже Алексей не поверит!”

[“My father went from a dangerous mobster to a PETA activist. Even Alexei will not believe!”]

“Заткнись, сопляк!”

[“Shut up, brat!”]

My heart calms, the throbbing, sharp pain in my chest eases. I get drunk on the herbal wood scent of his chest, breathing in every note of his perfume mixed with the salty breeze. The sound of his deep voice and the noise of the ship fade away. My vision becomes blurred and hazy.

I hear Mama Chica's voice whispering in my ears.

“It's going to be all right, Isis. Go, find your place and don't look back. Whatever happens, don't come back, you're free now. I love you, my child. May the Orixás guide you and protect you on your path.”

I have a bad feeling and my heart squeezes. I try to scream, but nothing comes out of my throat. I try to speak, but my mouth won't listen. My eyelids are heavy, my body is limp, and I can't move. It's too late now. I feel swallowed up by a dark, empty limbo that I can't fight against. I've been betrayed by my promises, I've become a prisoner of my feelings, and I'm unable to escape Ivan's arms. My fate has been sealed, I am trapped by him, at his mercy and alone in a world I don't know. I ask Iemanjá to protect me, and I let the darkness swallow me up.

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That’s all folks! I hope you enjoyed this chapter of the story!

Next chapter, we will take a look at the events that led up to Isis’s departure from the island. What happened in your opinion? Do you have any hypotheses?

I’m curious about your thoughts!

Hugs to all of you and good vibes!!!❤️❤️❤️❤️