What is your opinion?
The Kingdom Of The Dark
"Quite the epic story."
Reels you in
"Very compelling read, interesting plot and quite different to what I'd usually go for. I did find it difficult to comprehend which character was who as there are a lot of different names and quite unique at that. Saying that, the imaginative writing in this story takes skill and something the author has a knack for, well done 👏🏽😄"
Wonderful!
"I so much love the plot of this story! The author has a way of holding the readers interests and by the end of every chapter I wish to know what happens next. The descriptions of this world are beautifully done, and I could imagine it easily. I'd advise the author though, to break down her paragraphs. Quite a few of them are much too long, making it a tad bit hard for me to focus on it. Other wise, the story is perfectly written! I'll recommend this to those who enjoy reading fantasy. You will definitely enjoy this. "
Amazing!
"I can definitely say that the story was beautifully written!  the description in your chapters were phenomenal, and we’re so detailed that you can picture yourself immersed into the story, well done. I couldn’t find any grammar errors, or at least not that I have noticed and I’m honestly not the one to judge for grammar, since I have bunch of those in mine as well. "
Great work
"Great world-building and overall compelling story hooks you in and keeps you wanting to know more. 3 chapters ingreat so far."
Thoughts on the first chapter of your novel
" I had the pleasure of reading the first chapter of your new novel, and I'm very impressed with the concept and the relationship between the characters. The world you've created is also vivid and believable. However, I do have one suggestion: the first chapter is a bit slow for the new generation of readers, who tend to have a hard time focusing. I would recommend adding more action or suspense to the beginning of the story to grab readers' attention. Overall, I think you have a great novel on your hands. With just a few minor tweaks, I'm confident that it will be a success. Best of luck. "
Epic fantasy with GOT vibes... an undead horde! (12 chapters read)
"The summary is excellent, and I liked the GOT vibes. In Chapter 1, Kiara and Moria's relationship is complex and intriguing. The foreshadowing was good. "Promises were made and broken..." Lovely. I was hooked. But then Kiara goes missing for a few chapters. The next few chapters felt disjointed due to the POVs switching rapidly. PLOT: Props for the worldbuilding, and the author has a unique style. I appreciate the scope, especially weaving in the politics of various kingdoms. But I felt it needs to be tied to the main conflict, or the MC's journey. CHARACTERS: Also, there are so many names... Often I found it difficult to follow the many characters, remember their role, who said what, and the significance of what they were saying. Chapter 1 was okay, but in chapter 3, when the other characters are introduced in a Vulcaria, I struggled. Chapter 4 was better as it tied into ch 4. When the story returned to Kiara, it got better; when the pace and action picked up during the attack, I was invested. SOLUTION: The biggest hurdle with multiple POVs is making the readers care about the various characters and making them memorable, giving them recall value. Every POV shift should tie into the previous chapter and drive the plot forward. NARRATIVE: The pacing wasn't an issue for me, but I did wonder if the narrative was third-person-limited or omnipresent as it fluctuates between the two. WRITING STYLE: The descriptions are great, and the dialogues are effective, often excellent. The chapter titles were fun too. However, some of the paragraphs are too long, and there are some persistent punctuation issues, especially in dialogues. FINAL TAKE: NOTE TO THE AUTHOR. You have created something expansive, and that's no small feat. But remember we're new to your world. I suggest introducing us to your world slowly; make us fall in love with it, understand the motivation of the various characters, and root for them, love or hate them. Second, introduce the over reaching arc early on. By chapter five it is established, and past that your story SHINES. The question you have to ask is, how many readers will read on until then?"
The Kingdom of the Dark, the Damned and the Mortals
"I enjoyed reading the book I’m almost finished reading the book it’s really good it captivates the audiences. Shorter paragraphs is great if help the reader but it’s really interesting book. Check out my book Rising Winds of Fate. "
Interesting
"The story is interesting, definitely draws me in during the first few chapters. It's different, which is nice. Not the typical overused storyline. The author does a fantastic job building emotions and settings within the different scenes. Some of the paragraph spacing could be improved, separating the larger paragraphs to make reading flow easier. The grammar and spelling in a lot of areas makes the reading slow down a bit, but the ideas are there and create a good story. With some editing on grammar, spacing etc. this story has great potential. "
Good plot!
"I like the premise of the story! Countries at war, terrible battles, a potential wedding to bring peace, etc. The author's great at creating tension in the story. The build up to the battle scene really makes one fear the undead soldiers and what's to come. There were spelling and grammar issues throughout, so I'd just recommend doing some read-through's to touch those up."
This is a decent start
"I like to form my reviews by listing what I liked, followed by what can be improved, and finishing with my final thoughts. What I liked : 1. The darker tone of the plot so far sets the stage for a story with a heavy handed theme. 2. This world feels bigger than life and it seems as though we are only shown a fraction of it. 3. The Characters seem to have well defined goals and roles within this world (basically they know where they are going and what they are doing and have the motiviation they need to continue.) What can be improved? 1. There were numerous instances of missing articles (an article being a word to define a noun i.e. The, A, An, etc...) 2. There were also a few instances where there were missing quotations to show the beginning or ending of some speech. 3. The scenes were described well and left plenty of room for the readers imagination to breathe, but don't be afraid to give more details to things of importance. 4. The pacing. You introduced a wide cast of characters very early in the first few chapters especially without spending much time on the Focal point characters i.e. I am not sure if the daughter or the mother in the first chapter are intended to be the focal point. Having a large cast of characters is perfectly fine but it helps to establish a relationship between the reader and the key characters so that their names and personalities can be imprinted into the readers mind. When you introduce a character say "Mudders" for example I as a reader want to be familiar enough withthem by the end of that chapter so that 3 or 4 chapters down the road when their name is mentioned I remember the character and know what to sort of expect with them. Final thoughts, this is a wonderful story so far and it seems that there is a much grander story hidden within your imagination. There seem to be som many details large and small that you have in mind for this world, and its characters, and the story itself that they are just impatiently trying to burst through onto the page! This is a great thing and is always exciting as a writer but I think it would help you quite a lot to develop an outline of sorts to help put all of your intricate details, characters, places, and plot points onto a page so that you can take some time to refine each of them. Excellent start and don't let criticisms discourage you, you have the potential to be a phenomenal writer! "
