Chapter 1
“Fiza! Fiza!” Fiza cursed listening to her eldest brother, Jabran calling for her. “Aunt, papa is calling for you.” Ahmed pointed.
“It’s all on you, troublemaker. Hold this kite for me. And, don’t you dare tell your mom…”
“Fiza!” Jabran cried out again and Fiza who was busy flying a kite on the rooftop skipped the stairs in a hurry. Her long hair was braided tightly but she covered her hair with her scarf making her way to her brother. “How can you be so careless? The whole place is a mess…” Fiza looked around their living area and hissed looking at all the mess that her pet cat had made.
“I am sorry. I must have forgotten to fill her bowl. You know she…”
“Shut up! Salma will be coming any time. You love making her mad. Don’t you! You enjoy…”
“I am sorry. I will…” Fiza was cut off by her sister-in-law Salma coming. “Who the hell got Ahmed his kite? I told you he won’t play. Jabran, she is the reason why my boy is doing poorly in his studies. Get her out of here.” Jabran held his head before looking at Salma clueless. “Stop yelling. Will you? Your son isn’t three years old. You know how he blackmails. And, Fiza is not a cat I can throw out of here. The day I get a reasonable suitor,...”
“A reasonable suitor!” Salma scoffed. “…you are doing it for the last three years. Have you gotten a reasonable suitor?” Salma taunted while Fizza lowering her head scurried off to the kitchen. She was still to make the lunch and knew she was going to get an ear full from Salma for this.
“I can’t wed her off with your thirty-year-old cousin, Salma. What will people say?” Fiza heard her brother.
“Remember that reasonable suitor will demand a huge dowry.” Salma taunted.
“As if your cousin doesn’t want any dowry.”
“My cousin or not. I want her out of here. And, we don’t really have to give a lot. Your brother and sisters are going to help.”
“They will…but at least I have to find…”
“Why can’t they find someone…” They kept arguing for fifteen minutes straight. Even her nephew, Ahmed knew Fiza was a burden and should pay for doing the house chores.
“She hasn’t completed her graduation. Boys nowadays prefer graduated girls. Salma, if it was in my hands I was going to marry her off in the evening. But our mom is still so much alive. She won’t agree to just anyone…” Fiza wasn’t attending any college but was going to attend the exams for her graduation in economics. She was average in her studies. And, this indeed gave Salma a point to prevent her college as a regular student.
Salma was a lecturer in the college and someone had to be home to take care of Fiza’s mother. Fiza loved her mother dearly. She was the only person who has never told Fiza how much she has done for her. Except for her mother even her nephew Ahmed has done a lot of favours for her and never misses to mention it.
Fiza wasn’t allowed to have friends. In fact, it got pretty bad when one of her friends from school came to see her two years back. Salma has convinced girls with friends who go to college could be a source for the girl to go spoilt. Fiza was never allowed to go shopping alone and had to rely on Salma or twelve-year-old Ahmed to get her chocolates or any stuff in between.
“Don’t tell me lunch isn’t ready. I am diabetic. Do you want to kill me?” Fiza looked at Salma before she managed to stutter. “Mom wasn’t feeling good. And, then Ahmed came from the school. He wanted parathas for lunch. I am almost done here.” Salma used to have quite simple food. It wasn’t hard to set food for her. Fiza got busy making the salad for her while Salma couldn’t stop.
“I can’t wait for the day you aren’t here anymore. I am going to hire a full-time maid. Do you have any idea how expensive you are? Why don’t you and your mom go to Aqeel’s or Subhan’s? Let me tell you. Their wives won’t even open the door for you. I am the one bearing all of this shit and you can’t even make an effort to keep my home in good shape. You are useless, Fiza. I pity the man we will send you off with.” Fiza got her eyes teary. She should have gotten used to all of this. But whenever it was because of something she didn’t do at the time. She couldn’t help but blame herself for her laziness.
Salma went to her room after lunch and Fiza got busy offering her prayers for the noon. But the moment it came to make a prayer she couldn’t help but recall how her mom requests her to ask for a good husband in her prayers. But she couldn’t help but wonder if Salma will take care of her mom after she leaves. Fiza never made a prayer for a good husband. If anything she didn’t even want to marry anyone. But also knew she couldn’t say no if her brother Jabran find a suitor for her.
It was around evening when someone knocked on their door. Fiza wasn’t allowed to open the door and told Ahmed to open the door. Fiza stood closely behind to his left and smiled listening to their old neighbour Aunt, Shama.
“Hello, my sweet Fiza, how are you?” Fiza smiled sharing a hug with Aunt Shama. “I am fine, how are you?” Fiza noticed how they had a huge basket of sweets in their hands. It wasn’t the first time when they were bringing sweets to their place. Their house was a famous one for having the most intelligent people. And, they often distribute sweets in the area when their kids get the first position or when they get foreign scholarships. But this basket was quite huge for any such thing. Mostly they get sweets on a plate.
“How your mother is doing?” Aunt Shama asked,
“Mama is fine,” Fiza said all the while offering a hidden glare to Ahmed who was looking at the sweets as if he wanted to rip the cover now.
Fiza accepted the basket from Aunt Shama’s hand and led her inside her mama’s room. “Fiza, get me a glass of water,” Aunt shama requested and Fiza leaving the basket of sweets there went to the kitchen. She asked Ahmed to behave and not leave to play cricket with his friends before she came back holding a tray with a glass of water.
“Aunt Shama, it’s been two months. Your stay at sister Naila was long this time.” Fiza knew Aunt Shama’s youngest daughter had delivered a boy.
“Oh, Naila wasn’t letting me leave even now.” Aunt Shama instantly smiled at the mention but then told Fiza. “But I have to come. Abhan was insisting a lot for me to come and make things official.”
Fiza got her brows furrowed and looked at her mom who too was a little surprised but only for a moment before she smiled, “Yes, Sajida. I am here to ask for Fiza’s hand for my Abhan.” Fiza instantly left the room and had her mind going numb.
She knew Abhan since her childhood. They used to play when they were too little but it’s been years since she last see him. Given he had gone to the USA to pursue a specialization as a cardiologist. Fiza couldn’t believe her ears. She wonders how her mom was going to respond. Fiza knew she won’t be asked for her approval and it was also the part reason she had her heart unsettled. Leaving the life she was used to was hard. Aunt Shama was sweet but wasn’t her sisters’ mother in laws were sweet before the marriage? She didn’t know how to feel. But now the huge basket for the sweet was justified. But what got her ears red was the fact Abhan was insisting to make things official with her. She remembers when she last sees him. It was five years ago when she was coming home holding the Eid shopping with Salma.
For how Aunt Shama had a huge smile on her face. Fiza knew her mother had promised her to Abhan. Fiza couldn’t believe how happy her mother was. She kept telling Fiza how her prayers were answered. Little did her mom know she never prayed for a good husband. She never wanted to leave her mama, her cat or her room.
Her sisters, Anaya and Saba came home to visit the next day. Everyone was having a heated conversation about who will be doing what. Anaya and Saba weren’t required to do much as they were not doing any jobs. But Aqeel, Subhan and Jabran had a lot to discuss. Fiza’s day was spent taking care of her nieces and nephews which totalled up to nine kids the whole day. It was a busy day for her. How much she wished Abhan doesn’t take anything as dowry. But that wasn’t the case. Aunt Shama did accept everything her siblings arranged for her.
Anaya and Saba were in their late thirties. The only sibling close to Fiza’s age was Aqeel who too was twenty-seven years old. Sometimes Fiza wonders why she was born. She was the most unplanned child. If her father was still here it was going to be so different for her. She could have a say in how she wanted to go to college or learn how to drive. But now she was nothing but a burden. Anaya and Saba didn’t have to suffer anything. They even attended college and learned to drive from their father.
For her siblings, it was a matter of life and death. They wanted to show off how much they had cared for their fatherless kid sister but in the meantime were doing their best to do the least. How much she wanted to be someone who didn’t have to depend on someone. But thanks to Salma who didn’t let her out, Fiza had it hard talking to any stranger. She didn’t even have the confidence to go out and buy chocolate for herself let alone bargain the price for the cutlery to clothes in the bazaar.
It was decided she will be wed without a groom. Abhan couldn’t come home because he was trying for a green card. She was dolled up with perfect make-up and dress. Her sisters were busy telling all the relatives how much her outfit cost. And, Salma too seemed happy telling all of the relatives how she was the one who kept an eye on Abhan. Fiza couldn’t count how many people told her how lucky she was since morning. She was the first one of her relatives, who was going to a foreign land.
“Salma, you have no idea how hard it is to live in the USA. I want someone there to take care of my son now.” Aunt Shama added while eating and Salma was quick to admit it. “You don’t have to worry. I have brought up Fiza. She knows all the household chores. She will not give Abhan any trouble.”
She was sitting there like a doll. Fiza knew she wasn’t allowed to express her heart. But she too didn’t know what she want. As of now, she didn’t want to leave her home. She wonders if that place had the same chocolate as theirs. She didn’t know anything about that place and didn’t want to go so far.
Abhan was a nice and good-looking guy but she didn’t love him. The whole neighbourhood was invited to her wedding day. Her brother’s office colleagues and her sister’s and brother’s relatives. Everyone was envious of how lucky she was. She was going to live in the USA that too with a cardiologist.
The nikah was performed on a phone and Fiza shivered when she listened to the priest telling her they were officially married now. Only two days later Abhan sent her a lot of gifts. Salma made her unwrap all of the stuff in her presence but did have the decency to keep the letter to Fiza.
Fiza opened the letter with shaky hands and smiled when it started with,
My dear wife Fiza,
I hope you are in the best health when you are reading this. I know leaving your home is hard for you. But I am doing my best to make things good for you here. I have bought a home near a beautiful lake. I have been told to remodel it for you but I am planning to do it when you are here with me. I can’t wait for the day you are here, Fiza. I have always been in love with you. And, now when you are mine I am having a hard time believing it. I am sure no one would have asked your permission for the wedding but it will mean a lot to me if you will write a letter to me telling me you are as excited to see me as I am.”
Fiza had her heartbeat skyrocketed when she finished the letter. She knew he was her husband and had every right to tell her he loved her. But it was the first time a man has admitted his love for her.
Underneath he had an address to send him the letter. Fiza contemplated it for a few hours before she finally wrote a letter to him. She told him she was asked for her permission for the marriage. Fiza knew she couldn’t let her family down. At least, not in front of her husband.
Past that day it becomes a thing for them to send each other letters. Fiza would get her heart fast at any knock thinking it must be a letter from Abhan. He even sent her a few pictures of him. He told her a lot about New Jersey where he was living. A month later, Abhan sent her a money order too. That Fiza had to pass to Salma on the pretext of their spending on her dowry.
But to Abhan she wrote how she spent all of that on chocolates and scarves. Though Salma was convinced Fiza will resist her act of taking the money orders Fiza didn’t. The only thing she was interested in were Abhan’s letters. Fiza could have made what his home looked like, knew all his friend’s and neighbours’ names and even how much he loves travelling. He was quite expressive in his letters and Fiza could read his letters all night. What started as half-page letters turned into pages now. Sometimes she would wake up all night reading his letters. She even started trying the food Abhan used to mention in his letters and even stitched his sister Naila’s outfits at Aunt Shama’s request. Fiza started attending all the ceremonies and events at Aunt Shama’s place. Even there all she heard was how lucky she was to bag a guy like Abhan.
And, Fiza too knew he was worthy of every compliment. No one ever said that Abhan was lucky to have her too. And, Fiza didn’t even notice. She had been told how simple and useless she had been her whole life. It was indeed only luck that had given her a guy like Abhan.
Everyone in her relatives who used to call her a burden started quoting they wanted their daughters to have a groom like Abhan. Salma didn’t yell at her anymore. In fact, now she would tell her to support Ahmed to study in the USA once he comes to the age of going to college.
Abhan sent her pictures of their home and Fiza couldn’t help but show them to the whole family. It was a beautiful home with five bedrooms. Any mention of Abhan was enough to get her cheeks red.
Salma hired a maid when Fiza got busy applying for the passport and the whole process. Fiza was to leave for the USA in two weeks and her mother would make her check her luggage two times a day. To make sure she doesn’t forget anything. Abhan had told her there won’t be any way for her to see her family for the next five years and Fiza was burning on coals since then. Salma had promised her to take care of her mother and cat but Fiza had her doubts. Sometimes, she wonders how she could live without seeing her family for five long years. She knew she was even going to miss the walls of her home.
It was a hot day when Ahmed got home and asked Fiza for lunch. Fiza was about to go to the kitchen when their door was knocked. Ahmed checked the door and came with an envelope. “What is it?” Fiza asked and the moment Ahmed said it was from the USA, Fiza smiled. She knew it was going to have pictures. She tear the envelope open but the moment she looked at the papers she stumbled. “What is it? Did Uncle Abhan send some pictures?” But the moment Ahmed saw tears in Fiza’s eyes he asked, “What is it?” He got the papers from Fiza’s hand to read. “Divorce papers? Did he send a divorce?”
