My Autumn Warmth (bxb)

Once upon a time, I met the one person I could have never predicted I would fall head over heels in love with. It wasn’t the night when I spilt his blueberry slushy all over his t-shirt and trousers, the camera his late father bought for him nearly getting in the crossfire.

I think the first night I really met Seong Jin Lee was when we both shared that conversation about my love for the stars and planets while listening to the distracting sound of puking coming from the bush down below us, over the balcony. Granted, he was high out of his mind that night and was probably not in control of his actions, but he was not putting on a persona like most people do when they meet someone for the first time to make themselves seem more likeable. I do it too. That night, I got to see a side of him that I’m sure not a lot of people do. A side of him that was playful, genuine and unafraid.

I was immediately intrigued.

When I left the rowdiness downstairs in one of Fleance’s friend’s houses to enjoy the pleasures of the galaxy above, imagine my surprise when I found the door to the master bedroom left unlocked and someone already there, standing on the balcony under the beautiful hue of the dim light, singing the unknown version of twinkle-twinkle, little star.

After our conversation and he started stumbling uncontrollably, I instinctively reached over to make sure that he did not fall over. I remember thinking to myself that he seemed and smelled entirely sober, and leaning into him to see if I could perhaps catch the scent of alcohol I was missing, but still, there was nothing. Just a nice blend of fruit and something flowery.

When he didn’t open his eyes, I asked him in concern, “Are you okay?”

Eventually, he murmured drowsily, “Uh… yeah, I’m fine.”

“Do you need to sit down?”

Before he could answer my question, I was dragging him from the balcony back into the comforts of the room. I gently sat him down on the soft cushioning of the bed and he watched me curiously as I knelt in front of him, the heavy feeling of my hands imprinting into his hands. His hands were freezing that night. In fact, his hands are always cold. Seong Jin once told me that he has this theory that he is secretly a reptile. I always humoured him, it became our inside joke.

Cautiously, I reached up to pull his lacy mask off, dismissing whatever questions I had at the time about the thing. Irritably, he tugged the wig off his head and threw it over his shoulder dismissively. The second my eyes met his mesmerising, hazel brown eyes, I was hooked. Outside in the night, I was not really able to see them as clearly as I could inside and when I would, they seemed more like they were black.

He’s pretty, was my exact thought.

As soon as I carefully placed the mask down on the bedside table, I found myself with my hands free and then cupped his face in my grasp. I looked at him intently, my gaze fixed on his eyes. I immediately noticed that his pupils were abnormally dilated and his movements seemed erratic. It was clear that he had ingested something that was affecting him in a profound way. Upon further questioning, I found out that one of the people whom Fleance had invited over had stored a strange drink in the fridge, which he had consumed without knowing its contents.

“Have you been... you know, taking something?” I hesitantly asked after seeing the dopey smile curling on his lips.

“Taking something?” he echoed quietly, his brow furrowing in apparent confusion then he let out a loud giggle which made me jump. “I do not know what you mean by taking something. I did not take anything. Mama did not raise no thief, mate.”

I studied his face with concern etching my features. “You sure you’re okay? You’re acting really weird.”

“I just... feel oddly good, you know?” he responded and then all of a sudden he reached up and playfully ruffled my hair which caused my breath to hitch. I blinked up at him in bemusement. “Your hair is oddly curly.”

“I think you might be high,” I stated bluntly, gently pulling his hand away from my hair.

“What?” he exclaimed, blinking at me in shock. “But I did not take any drugs tonight. In fact, I have never taken drugs in my life before. Unless we consider prescription drugs as drugs which in that case, sure I have taken drugs.”

I looked at him dubiously at the time.

“I swear, I don’t.”

As I gazed at him, I could not shake off the feeling that something was off. I decided to check his eyes again, just to be sure. I reached for my phone and turned on the flashlight, directing it towards his face. But to my surprise, his pupils dilated in an odd manner as soon as the light hit them. Was he hiding something from me? I could not help but wonder if he was lying to me about something. The thought of dealing with a drugged up liar was not something that appealed to me at all.

Releasing his face, I stepped back and glared at him suspiciously. “Why would you do drugs? They’ll ruin your life.”

“I don’t do drugs. I cross my heart and hope to die.”

“Did someone make you drink or eat something?”

Thoughtfully, he puckered his bottom lip out as if to help himself remember.

Meanwhile, my shoulders tensed stiffly as I awaited his response. On the one hand, I wanted him to say that he did not purposefully take a hash brownie at that party, but on the other hand, I did not want to hear that there could be drugs at that party. Considering that there were a bunch of teenagers there, there was more than likely a higher chance of there being drugs.

“I think I had some water,” he replied, pulling me out of my panicky thoughts. He squinted some more to remember before he nodded confidently. “I definitely drank some water.”

A sigh escaped me. “Okay, that means you could have been roofied.”

“No, it was sealed. Dominic is the only other person other than me who had the bottle. Fleance too, but I did not drink it after he held it. You know, because of the rules?”

“Rules? What rules?”

“No open containers, no taking drinks from strangers, no hash brownies or space cookies or weed or needles,” he relayed, using his fingers as a noting device. “That’s what Domi said.”

“Domi?” I mused.

“Dominic. He’s my friend,” he clarified for me, grinning a little too brightly when he spoke of Dominic who was apparently his friend. I later discovered that he was not in fact, just a friend. Then the smile fell from his face abruptly. “Well, I think he’s my friend. Tonight, he smiled at me.”

“He sounds nice,” I dismissed quickly.

“Oh, yeah.” He swung his legs back and forth. “He’s a great guy.”

“Okay, well we need to flush the drug out of your system.”

“You think I’ve been drugged?” he gasped dramatically as if I did not mention that a couple of minutes ago.

“I don’t think you’ve been drugged. You were definitely drugged. You are high as fuck.”

“It’s the government,” he proclaimed confidently and nodded adamantly. “Yeah, it’s because I’m woke. You’ll have to hide me. Fast.”

He covered his eyes as if to apply the science of if I can’t see them then they can’t see me. Looking back, it was stupid but I could not even be mad at him, because one, that’s what drugs did to a person and two, he just looked so darn adorable doing it.

I couldn’t help the amusement that shined in my eyes.

There was also this warm feeling that was fluttering around in my stomach the longer my eyes were on him. That feeling confused me because at the time I had feelings for someone else and so, I was wondering what the hell was going on with me. Was I warming up to this high-on-drugs boy who I knew next to nothing about? Had a conversation about puke, past crimes and Ursa Major caused that?

“No, I think it’s the water you drank.”

He removed his hands from his eyes and those hazel browns gazed at me yet again. Holy fuck… “If it’s not the government then I suspect the leprechaun.”

I furrowed my eyebrows at his words and looked around the room as if someone would appear and answer my unasked question. “Who’s the leprechaun?”

“It’s sleeping outside on the balcony in the hammock.”

“There is no hammock out there,” I told him slowly.

“Yes, there is,” he argued adamantly.

“Yeah, totally drugged,” I said more to myself than him, nodding in a convinced manner. “I might need to get you some water or orange juice.”

“Is it just me or is it getting hotter in here?” It didn’t seem as if he was listening to anything I was saying at the moment since he was too busy tugging on the ends of his jacket, trying to pull it off.

“It’s just you.”

He slowly fanned himself to chase the discomfort out of his body. Again, he tried to pull his hands out of the jacket and still the jacket remained attached to him. Large pants left his lips and he began to panic. When he looked up at me pleadingly, I sighed hopelessly and reached over to drag the sleeves of his jacket down. Folding it neatly, I placed it beside him and stood up.

He also jumped up, but he was more ecstatic and exclaimed, “I don’t have the power to get attached to jackets.”

I chuckled nervously and hesitantly took his hands, laying them limply by his sides. He rocked back on forth on his heels with a crazed look on his face.

“Okay, maybe we should calm down a bit—”

“You know, you have like such beautiful eyes,” he whispered loudly, looking widely into my eyes.

I averted my gaze awkwardly, his words hitting me all too suddenly. How could he be so blunt?

When he saw me looking away, he slammed his hands down on my cheeks, forcing me to stare at him again. My lips puckered as he mashed my cheeks a little too much and he gasped softly, awed for some weird reason.

“They’re like twinkles.”

“Uh… thank you?” I replied in a questioning tone, words a bit muffled from his hold on me. “Okay, look we need to—”

“Shush. You’re gonna wake the leprechaun,” he whisper-shouts, scoldingly.

I reared back and wiped the corner of my lips from the spittle that left his mouth. He did not even seem to care.

When he, all of a sudden, jumped onto the bed and bounced on it lightly, I looked around the room for some form of assistance, but I obviously found none. I contemplated waiting for Fleance to return and deal with him himself. They clearly knew each other better than I did. Maybe he would know how to handle him. When he jumped a little too close to the chandelier, my eyes widened worriedly.

“Get down from there before you hurt yourself,” I reprimanded.

He obviously did not listen to me and continued to jump up and down on my bed with both his shoes on and a chuckle escaping from his lips. When, yet again, I saw his hair almost touching the chandelier, the expensive chandelier that I would not have been able to afford to replace, I worriedly told him to get down a second time. He defiantly retorted that he wouldn’t, so I just pulled his arm and forced him down onto his knees. He bust into a round of loud laughter until his eyes zeroed in on my lips and he curiously pressed his finger on my piercing, gasping.

“I want that.” Then suddenly pretending to be a sweet, little angel, he asked me, “Can you pierce my lip too?”

“I didn’t actually pierce my lip personally. You have to get it done professionally.”

“I trust you. Just pierce me with a needle.”

“That’s gonna hurt like a bitch.”

“I have great pain tolerance.”

“Let’s play a game,” I suggested to him, but he was barely listening.

Realising this, I took his freezing hand in my one and pulled it away from my lips. He frowned indignantly at my actions, stubbornly reaching up with his other free hand to touch my piercing. I reared away from his approaching hand. God only knew what he had been touching that night. Unclean hands would only give me an infection. When it was becoming clear that he was not prepared to give up touching my piercing, I took that hand and quickly dragged it down. His frown deepened.

“What’s your name?” I asked him rapidly, tightening my hold on his hands, trying to distract him from my piercing.

“Seong Jin. What’s your name?” he asked me politely.

“Kai.”

“Nice to meet you, Kai.”

He tugged his hand out of my grasp, and I quickly shielded my mouth in fear.

He only grinned humorously and presented an open hand at me, but because I was still a little apprehensive of his intentions, I pinched my eyebrows down at the hand. Nodding encouraging, he urged me to take his hand.

This wouldn’t be a trick, would it?

Handshakes are a peace offering. I once read somewhere that shaking someone’s hand is to show them that you mean no harm. You reveal your empty hand to them so that they can see that you have no weapon. It’s all about building trust from the very first interaction.

Eventually, after a long wait, I shook his hand.

After telling him that we were going to play a game of hide and go seek, I slowly backed away from him towards the door and locked it after softly closing it, just in case he thought of running away while high on something. I hurriedly rushed downstairs past all the drunken, drugged and, drunken and drugged bodies which are sprawled everywhere. I walked past a girl who was up against the pillar, hugging it tightly and slurring unknown words at it. Then I squeezed past a couple who were stumbling through the hallway, probably looking for a room to bump uglies.

After extricating myself from the crowd of excited hands, I made my way into the brightly lit living room. Despite not considering myself particularly attractive, the alcohol seemed to have a strange effect on the people around me, drawing them towards me with unrestrained enthusiasm. As I approached the kitchen, I noticed a group of smokers huddled together, puffing on their blunts. Annoyance crept over me as I realised that we would now have to open all the windows to clear out the smoke, disrupting the otherwise comfortable atmosphere of the house.

I wanted to grab a few snacks before I got the juice for Seong Jin. I chanced a glance at the couple making out onto the refrigerator, leaving their dirty fingerprints all over the mirror doors. My lips pursed and a deep sigh escaped me as I shook my head in defeat. They were just making another unnecessary mess for us to clean up. Luckily, I was not taking anything from the fridge. Every drink in there could possibly be roofied if I knew my brother. Hopefully, they had carton juices stored in the pantry.

I shuffled over to the cupboards to grab a glass until I remembered that everything breakable had been stored in my bedroom. Seong Jin wouldn’t mind drinking from the carton. I tiptoed and shifted some things away until I finally found what I was looking for.

Before leaving the kitchen, I grabbed a bag of crisps and high-tailed it out of there. As I was about to climb up the stairs when someone grabbed my shoulder. Dismissively, I muttered, “No, I’m not in the mood to have sex with you.”

“Oh, you incestuous bastard.”

I turned around to glower at my brother who was dressed as Bob Ross. “Fleance, what the fuck is going on?”

“Things are getting out of hand, mate,” he yelled over the loud music.

“Yeah, no shit, you fucking scab.” I struggled not to strangle him. “Do you know that you’ve invited stoners into Reyansh’s house?”

“I did not invite stoners,” he objected adamantly and at precisely that moment someone walked up to us and offered us a bag of cocaine if we sucked his dick. I dismissively told him to go and fuck himself. He shrugged nonchalantly as if to silently say that was not a half bad idea and promptly left.

“Didn’t invite stoners, huh?” I arched an eyebrow.

“Okay,” he broke under my unconvinced stare. “I may have invited people who invited other people who invited stoners. It’s not my fault.”

“It’s completely your fault,” I yelled angrily, preparing to leave as well before turning around to ask him the question pestering me, “Why did you throw this party in the first place?”

“It’s like a welcome back to Shoreditch party for you.”

“I did not ask for a welcome back to Shoreditch party. I thought I was coming over here to hang out with you and Reyansh. Where is he right now? Does he know about you throwing this party in his house? Do his parents know?”

“No, his parents do not know,” he drawled out awkwardly and then he smiled up at me guilelessly. “Reyansh is somewhere around here though. To be fair, you were not supposed to know. It was supposed to be a surprise so… surprise… I guess.”

I shook my head at him and then curiously asked, “Where is Akira?”

“She left with Mum and Ismael. They forced her to go along with them to the mosque.”

“I hope you know that I am not helping you clean up this mess.”

“What?”

“I’m being serious.”

“Oh, come on, Kai. Do a brother a solid.”

“Don’t you dare abuse the power of the solid!” Looking around, I was amazed at how horrifying that scene looked. “Fix this mess and get that guy off the glass table! He’s going to break it.”

He threw his head over his shoulder and groaned in irritation when his eyes landed on the damp boy who was breaking it down on the table. “Oh, for fuck’s sake! Why is Dominic losing his mind like this? We just hauled him out of the pool.”

And then he disappeared into the crowd.

For a second, I gazed over at the guy who was dressed as Hulk Hogan. Dominic.

Disregarding the loud scene, I quickly took the stairs two at a time with my footsteps growing ever more audible the more muffled the music grew. I walked into the room after unlocking it and nothing could have prepared me for this.

Seong Jin was standing on top of my bed and was slowly swaying to an unheard melody. “I love the baby cupids. They have such beautiful voices. Are they for sale?”

Who was he talking to?

He pointed at something. “You sound exactly like John Legend.” He pointed at another thing. “You are more of an Adam Levine and you sound like… Britney Spears?”

“Uh… Seong Jin?”

He spun around and saw me, looking at him weirdly. Surprised by my sudden appearance, he quickly sat down on the bed, shut his eyes on the spot and carried on counting like I had not just caught him red-handed. I did not know what to expect when I heard giggling coming from the other side of the door, but this was not it. I thought he’d be speaking to his imaginary leprechaun, not swaying to an unheard tune being sung by three cupids that sounded like famous singers.

“Forty five… forty six…”

“It’s okay, Seong Jin. You found me.”

“The baby cupids didn’t tell me, I swear,” he exclaimed at me loudly.

I frowned in bemusement when he turned around and gave the corner of the wall two thumbs up. What cupids was he talking about?

“Now, do I finally get to hide?”

“No, wait. Take this.” My hold curled around his arm before he could run out of the room. I held out the carton of orange juice, but he didn’t immediately take it. “It’ll make you feel better.”

“Why?” he drawled.

“Because you’re high.”

“Why?”

“And we need to flush the drugs out of your system.”

He paused. “Why?”

“Because it’ll help you—actually it’s part of the game.”

“It is?”

“Yeah. Whoever drinks the juice first wins,” I told him, feigning excitement.

When I brought the carton to my lips, he quickly grabbed it out of my hand, put his lips on the opening and began to drink the contents inside. An amused grin twitched onto my lips and after a few more gulps, his face scrunched up a bit and he pulled the carton away with a mild shudder shaking his body. I surmised from that reaction that he wasn’t the biggest fan of orange juice, but he needed to drink it. It would help him sober up much quicker.

I prompted him to take one last sip, but he gave me the carton back and shook his head. I urged him again and this time he did. Just a small sip.

He swallowed the content in his mouth and grinned brightly. Then he started to blink rapidly and shook his head while swaying off balance again. Before I could reach out to grab him, he unwillingly stumbled into me, resting his head on my shoulder, his breath tickling my ear when he murmured, “I don’t feel too good.”

Turning my head slightly, I smiled at him softly. Teasingly, I said, “You did technically take drugs,” with my fingers tracing soothing circles on the small of his back.

“I didn’t take no drugs,” he protested with a playful pout.

Sarcastically, I murmured behind my throat, “Mm-hmm.”

Then I brushed a stray lock of hair from his forehead, marvelling at the way the moonlight danced across his features. His hazels blinked up at me again curiously before flickering down to my lips and I narrowed my eyes at him as if to silently warn him against touching my lip piercing.

Before I could even react, he leaned in and tentatively pressed his lips against mine. My eyes widened in surprise and my entire body stiffened in shock. After glancing down at his lips clearly on mine to confirm it, I could not help but wonder if this was real life. For the first few seconds, the world seemed to slow down and the heat between us felt palpable. But then my initial surprise quickly melted away and I surrendered to the gentle pressure which was being created by his soft lips. My eyes slowly fluttered shut as my hands came up to tangle in his silky hair.

When we finally parted, both flushed, my gaze drooped with a newfound interest and his fingers calmly traced the line of my jaw. “I think I’m feeling better now,” he murmured, his voice oddly low and sultry.

“I’m glad,” I whispered, still reeling from the effects of the kiss.

Then he nestled against me, his arms circling my waist as he hummed a familiar song. Before rearing back with his grin back again. “Can I please have some crisps?”

I watched as he extended his palms towards me in a polite manner, and without any hesitation, I handed over the packet to him. His eyes sparkled with happiness as he crawled back onto the bed and eagerly tugged open the bag.

My eyes followed him in a daze, wondering if he knew what he just did. Did he mean to kiss me? He was under the influence of drugs after all.

I was initially sceptical if he would be able to open the bag in his induced state, but to my surprise he managed to do it with ease. With a content expression on his face, he munched on the crispy chips, making a satisfying crunching sound that filled the room. As he savoured the taste, his gaze landed on me and he politely extended the packet, offering me some as well. My lips twitched with amusement as I joined him on the bed, sitting with my legs crossed as we shared the packet of crisps. The room was filled with the sound of crunching as we enjoyed the snack together, lost in our own world.

And that was the day I met the real Seong Jin.