Ruining Me

Life is nothing without death.

I’d been told that from day one. A not so easy explanation for someone who’d just lost their grandma, but my parents liked to give lessons like that.

Even as I rummaged through the aisle, my brain lingered on the statement waiting for it to make more sense. The words had echoed out from my mothers lips just before I left for the store. A passing comfort to try and salve the heaviness that lingered in my stomach. Amazing how the death of someone you barely know can affect you.

I paused, shuffling through purposefully, searching for the small bar my mom had specifically asked for. You’d think years of shopping here would’ve honed my ability to find even the most trivial of items, but nevertheless, there I was, distracted by loss that wasn’t even my own.

The bell on top of the door rang indicating that someone else had come in but I didn’t bother looking back. Running a hand through my hair, I glanced at the shelving. Worn, wood flooring creaked beneath my feet with every slight shift and the whir of air conditioning buzzed loudly in the background.

After ten solid minutes of searching, I finally spotted it. With a feeling of foolish satisfaction, I snatched the unhealthy addiction, left the aisle, and headed towards the checkout with my sparse supplies in hand.

A pop song played in the background just barely heard from the muffled speakers and the lights flickered unsteadily. Fluorescent bulbs turned off before flipping back on, a soft buzzing accompanying the display. A window at the storefront had spiraling cracks and trash littered the front.

Cheng was obviously having trouble with money, which wasn’t exactly new, but considering the fact I’d been coming here since I could remember, help was the least I could offer.

A yawn brought me back to my current state, paired with the ache in my body, it was a solid reminder I needed to pop a sedative for a full sleep. Despite my loose schedule and diminished work load, I was tired.Possibly a side effect of the mourning my family had recently been under but more than likely because the less you do the less you want to. With one last yawn, I juggled my items and came up to the store owner who I’d known since I was a little girl. His peppered hair had only recently started receding and frown lines carved deep into his forehead adding to his slightly weathered look.

“Hey Cheng,” The milk, bread, snickers and toilet paper dropped onto the counter with a soft thud and he raised his brows while looking over my goods.

“This will be all?” His accent hadn’t improved much over the years but it only added charm.

I nodded, stretching my arms out and motioning to the cracked glass of his store. “So what happened to your window?” My voice fizzled out at the end and I winced.

He glanced over and didn’t reply for a few minutes before shrugging, the choppy tune of his words barely hindering my ability to understand him, “Oh, just neighborhood kids messing around, nothing serious.”

“That’s a shame, sorry to hear about it. Maybe my dad could come down here and fix it up for you, he’s pretty good at handiwork.” The last part wasn’t totally true but he was better than nothing.

Cheng lifted his eyes to meet mine and gave me one last sincere smile before he slowly began to ring me up, “That would be nice, thank you.”

His words were empty, distracted, easy to write off as a side effect of exhaustion but his gaze kept drifting to something in the back of the store. Curiosity got the better of me and I turned around to see exactly what was holding his attention.

Instead of a what, it was a who.

Icy, blue irises met my own green ones. He was still, undecided, as if not knowing where to go from here. Standing a solid ten feet away with not a thing in his hand. For a few seconds I was lost. Like a kid wondering off in the mall; a spike of nervous anxiety ran through my blood. Tall and intimidating, my eyes gave him a quick once over on their own accord. Ink lined his arms and more tattoos peaked out from his collar. He was handsome in a rough sort of way and didn’t look like he belonged in this store, never mind the town. I turned back to Cheng quickly, goosebumps popping up all over my body and a flush reddening my cheeks reminding me that I was still ruled by hormones.

Another bell sounded but instead of turning to see who it was, I eyed the mirror Cheng kept behind him and watched silently as two more men walked in. One of them was also littered in tattoos and from the small nod they gave to the man standing behind me, I figured they knew each other.

Something changed.

It happened quickly, one minute I was unsure and the next I just knew. My grandmother had frequently talked about energies and how you could tell the good from the bad but I’d always called bullshit. You don’t just judge someone based off your first impression... so as my hands curled into fists and the hair on my neck stood to attention, I attempted to write it off as being paranoid. Cheng must have been getting the same vibe as me because unlike his usual greeting he gave almost everyone who walked in, silence enveloped the store.

The air was thick with tension, so thick that sweat beaded on my forehead when the lights flickered one more time, adding to the already uncomfortable silence. The store owner looked shiny and pale, his thick, short brows furrowed together adding an animated look to his already distinctive features. The clock ticked. It’s not really easy to tell what this kind of tension builds up to until all of a sudden it peaks.

One of the men came up next to the counter and leaned against it. He had a slightly hickish look to him like he’d been raised in a trailer park but the energy racing through his eyes told me I couldn’t stereotype him too soon. Despite his messy look, he was attractive in a strange way. “Well, well, well, what do we have here? A beautiful girly for sure,” A southern drawl hugged each syllable but his tone wasn’t light. In fact, he seemed more intense than his words revealed. A message hidden beneath flattery.

It took effort to glance over, knowing once I acknowledged his presence it would only get worse. I’d dealt with enough guys like him.

A sheen sparkled in his eyes inducing a shiver that climbed from the tip of my toes all the way up. With sandy blonde hair, slightly darker scruff, and green eyes shining brightly under thick eyebrows, he too didn’t match our town’s usual crowd. Silver glinted off of his right brow making my eyes stick to the piercing. He had a scattering of tattoos on his body with no definite pattern, almost as if he randomly picked spots for his next graphic to go.

I must have taken longer than I realized to reply because before I could, he raised the pierced eyebrow, “A picture’d last longer.”

His teeth glinted and again I was caught off guard be the underlying aggression that was so obviously there. I’d give it to him, he was attractive in an edgy way but the cockiness wasn’t fitting. Before I could retort, Cheng interrupted, efficiently stopping the words that almost slipped from my mouth.

“How may I help you?” His voice had a fake cheeriness to it and he gave me a wary look as he handed over my receipt. The look was enough to get me moving. Picking up my bags, I made to walk towards the door but the blonde blocked me, his body coming in between me and the exit route.

“Well, not with anything just yet friend, unless you could give me a hand and introduce me to this pretty girl.” He finished with a wink, like an actor playing his part.

Stiffening, I met the eyes of someone looking for trouble.

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