What is your opinion?
Kudos for writing such a masterpiece
"Kudos for writing such a masterpiece. I would like to feature your Inkitt book for free to my list of newsletter subscribers. If that is alright by you then please email me at exzordersplrwso AT gmail.com to book your spot, thanks. Only 40 spots are left."
On the Right Track
"I don't want the title of this review to turn anyone away from this story. I think it is a five-star tale overall and it is worth reading. I might clarify my choice of title by saying that it is just a little rough around the edges. Underneath, you have a great story and excellent characters. I would sum up my recommendations by saying that you might just want to run through your story a few more times. Check your grammar and consider cleaning up your sentence structure. Occasionally, these elements were distracting to the plot, but all the time I was wondering what would happen next. I hope this doesn't dampen your enthusiasm for writing because you have a lot of potential here! Good luck!"
Keep Your Promises
"When Emma is hospitalized with terminal breast cancer, her sister, Scarlett, learns that her life is nothing but lies, and that that her best friend is really her worse enemy. Although this story needs to be edited, edited, and edited again to refine it, and remove repeated sentences and add missing words, it had a great plot and story line. Here are some things I would change: (1) in chapter 6 Emma says, "Do not involve the police." But in chapter 2: Emma said that the police had not closed Darcy's case. (Which is a contradiction.) (2) Also in chapter 6, you have: "I quickly my coat . . . (3) If she were still alive she would know be celebrating her seventeen birthday. (4) "I don't know what was about him that made me so shy." These mistakes among others are all from chapter 6. I have not pointed out any mistakes in other chapters, and only pointed these out as examples. You have an awesome plot and a great imagination. I would love to read this once you edit your story!! Best of luck to you. NRF"
Keep Writing
"What I loved about this story was how interesting your story is. I loved the way you dealt with topics like cancer and depression. We all fell in love with Scarlett, who we imagine was us. At the end of the novel I was like what, who was it, and it made me want to read more. A brilliant story which I truly loved reading. Keep writing."
Good Story
"It's a great story. There were a few grammatical issues which can easily be fixed when editing. I liked the plot of your story and the cliffhanger at the end made me want to read more. I loved Scarlett since she was a relatable character and how you dealt with relatable issues such as depression. Overall a lovely read. I think this book would be a brilliant published novel and hope you win the competition."
Wow! Amazing!
"This novel was amazingly beautiful and had me in tears! Big well done Sabitha, such an incredible story!"
Well Done
"This was a pleasure to read. Some of your writing is absolutely mesmerizing! Aside from a few grammatical errors, I found the story to be engaging. Keep up the writing, girl! You got talent!"
Breathtakingly sad
"I loved it, even though it made me feel a few things I didn't want to feel (sniffle). It brought back memories of my depression. You have a gift for engaging the reader and making them feel something. Are you planning on Publishing this? Because once you give it a couple rounds of edits, it will be absolutely perfect. Just needs some polishing. Overall, you had me hooked at the first page. Good work!"
Wow...
"I've managed to read only one chapter of this story and i got to say i can feel the emotions you put here in this story, the sadness, the anger, the depression, and loneliness...those emotions i thought i had buried inside me after three years came flooding back. You have shown a lot of potential here keep it up"
Powerful!
"I suffer from depression. This story is as realistic as it gets. This story is what family is all about. :)"
Symvoulí
"Okay, so the story is alright so far. I have a gripe regarding the length of the Sasha tangent, but that's more than covered by the fact that I'm not the writer.~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ What isn't covered is your use of commas or lack of -'s to show possession. You want some help writing? Here's a grammar lesson for you.~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ The doctor, who I had long since run out of patience for, continued to stutter and delay giving me an answer. This is an appositive- you use the space in the commas to describe a noun listed either before or after the phrase. You seem to try and use this a lot, but then put the action there. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ For the sake of covering lists and run on sentences, I'll just correct one of them for you. I'm lazy, so give me a break.~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ "I really hate it, when old people and so many others think that teenagers are all the same; with electronic devices which cost more than they probably need, when instead they could give it to somebody else, with designer clothes, and hair glossy and in style."~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ *turns into*~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ "I really hate it when old people and so many others think that teenagers are all the same; with electronic devices which cost more than they probably need- when instead they could give it to somebody else- with designer clothes and stylish glossy hair."~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ You created a list, but used commas to create an appositive inside of that list, something that collapses the list entirely. I did a brief fix that removes the list element without changing the actual information, but- if you wanted to fix it without formatting- you could easily just make it into two sentences as well, but my point still stands. You're overusing commas along with the word 'and'.~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ As for the -'s thing, that's mostly a point I noticed once and it just really bugs me. That example is as follows. "You're Emma Cadberry['s] sister, aren't you?"~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Besides grammar and punctuation, I do have one other point of contention, though. You started the story off in a depressing manner, and I'd assume you'd like that atmosphere to remain that way for a while, but I was actually forced to choke down an ironic laugh at the meta moments you put right smack in the middle of chapter one. Like... Was that intentional? I have no idea.~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Oh, and consider me a praiser by exception in that everything I don't mention is perfectly fine.~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ And it's because I'm a praiser by exception that I'm forced to bring up your speaking verbs... You use 'ask' and 'say' far too often. Where is 'I demanded'? Where is 'I sighed'? Where is 'he choked out'? There are so many different ways to differentiate how people talk, but you seem to rely almost entirely on adverbs like angrily. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Finally, and this may be a personal point, but your paragraphs are reliably gigantic. I realize some people will be cool with that *cough* Tolkien book fans *cough*, but it's going to be a huge turnoff and make it genuinely difficult to read for a large chunk of your potential audience. Because of the gigantic font on Inkitt's site, it's at least manageable, but your book probably isn't going to be like that. This would take almost no effort to fix, so I considered it worthwhile to mention.~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ And that about wraps things up. If you need further assistance, holler at your boy. I'd even be up for editing your book, assuming I was compensated for it, but otherwise I must bid you adieu."
Thanks for the feedback
"I appreciate all the feedback both negative and positive. It's my first story so in my next story I will take all the feedback and improve. Thanks to everyone who read my story."
Brilliant
"Love your writing style. Well written. Interesting story, Great plot. Love the relationships between the sisters. Realistic themes of love, jealousy ,cancer. Can't wait to read more ."
Brilliant
"Love your plot, nice story. I think you could describe the setting. Further review written in comments."
Review
"The writing style was so good, and had a lot of emotion. I felt as though I was in her place. This plot has so much potential, and I hope you add more!"
Keep Your Promises
"I will write my further review in the comments to not reveal spoilers. I like the plot of the story and I like the themes linked to the story. This story was very interesting and unexpected. You could remove some of the inner dialogue to make it flow better. I like the character of Scarlett who is very relatable. Nice atmosphere. Great start."
Nice
"I like this story, the plot is unique and intriguing. I like the relationship between Scarlett and her sister. I would love to read more of this. I like how you have included themes like grief, cancer, loss all themes which us the readers can relate to. I think to improve you could focus more about the setting of your story since it would make it more realistic. Also there were a few grammar errors which you could fix. I think you could try add more depth into Scarlett character."
Full of potential
"'Keep Your Promise' by Sabitha kiritharan has a lot of potential as story with characters that are very interesting and I will definitely love to more back story on respectively whether done in this book or later in other books. Although the book as it is now lures the reader in with a story that keeps the reader guessing it ends or jumps abruptly that leaves the reader half satisfied. I'm not too clear on how the other characters that are introduced come to cross paths with the main character. Leaving the events that occur in the end unclear. Over all the story is full of potential but need to be expanded on. After that I would love to read the story again."
Good to read on break, just some issues with some sentences.
"After reading chapter 1 I must say that I will be reading this each time I get free time. Of course, there are other stories that I am reading besides this one so, it might take a while before I write another review where I am further away from the story. Hmm, Will be interesting to see Scarlett's journey to find Darcy. The only issues that I have with this story are some of the sentences. An example is this one "Okay I will, and you must beat this cancer." Instead in my opinion this would be better "Ok I will find her, but you must beat this cancer. Promise me that!" Also in the next sentence, There's too many and on it. you can cut it after Emma say extremely hard. You can remove the and that follows. You can put a period then proceed to say that she will make sure she beats this cancer for her sister and her daughter Darcy. Other than that, I like the plot and the prologue. Well, take care. -Jesus M. Arce Rivera (Richard Omega).""
Good potential
"This story, specifically the plot, has a lot of potential and should continue to be extended and refined. There were grammatical errors, but nothing major. Great job!"
