Chapter 1
Chapter One
Father Christian has been fighting his feelings for Esme James for the past Six years. He’s been attracted to her ever since she entered his parish six years ago when her aunt took her to his first sermon as the father for this parish.
He still remembers her first confession with him when he first heard her voice he felt as though he was shot through the heart.
There was that painful twinge that he’s now become accustomed to, and the feeling that he’d met her before when he was sure that he’s never met her in his life.
That day she confessed things to him that he was sure she had never told anyone before, she told him the story of how she’d seen when her father got shot by the rival gang but didn’t call 911 instead, she watched as he bled out.
She’d asked if that made her a murder of course he didn’t know how to respond. She continued and explained that in that moment she felt relieved that he would die. She saw it as freedom from the abuse she had endured since her mother died.
The drunk beatings, the rapes when he was high out of his mind and mistook her for her mother. Worst of all she was that she hated the way he looked at her with equal hatred and scorn.
Father Christian had asked her if she hated or felt disgusted with herself, and she answered that yes sometimes she did. For some reason that answer seemed to break something in him and he wanted to help her.
So, he started weekly counseling sessions with her, which seemed to help at first. That was before it started, what Esme hoped would be a fresh start for her was not so. Apparently, her uncle was a part of the eastern part of the mount mas Gang her father was a part of, and although not as abusive as her father he was just as screwed up.
He was having issues with control as of late, the rival thorn bikers’ gang was starting to move into their turf, and he didn’t seem to have the manpower or resources to win in a fight against the ever-expanding bikers’ gang if need be.
So, while rocking his brain for a solution he’d decided to offer Esme for a marriage to seal an alliance that would end the rift before a possible war broke out. He didn’t ask Esme if she agreed, he just told her she would.
Esme who had hoped that once she finished school, she could leave this place was now devastated. She had hoped that she could go to teach English abroad and escape the reach that this gang had in this country.
She would get a fresh start with a new country and new people who wouldn’t see her as a drunk’s daughter or a gang princess. She’d even hoped to find love, she had never had that before.
The closest she ever came was Father Christian and it was clear that he didn’t feel the same. Last year after the Christmas dinner at church she had met him while coming from the bathroom in the hall and they were both alone and he looked at her and she couldn’t resist, she flung herself into his arms and hugged him.
She did what she always wanted to do and kissed him on the neck and for a moment she could of sworn he reacted as well he held her tighter and she pulled back a little to look at him and got lost in his eyes and she leaned in and he leaned in as well and she was sure he was going to kiss her instead what he said was “no we can’t do this, Esme this isn’t right”.
The next Sunday his sermon was on “How to avoid temptation and why it would be best to avoid temptations in the upcoming year, less one sins and corrupt themselves.”
Esme knew this was directed at her and so she’d always made sure to keep a respectable distance after that, but she still continued to see him after that for their weekly counseling sessions. After all, he was all she had, the only glimmer of happiness she had to look forward to every week and she didn’t want to lose him.
Although at this point it seemed inevitable that she would lose him, she was sure that once she married Castro Piere, he wouldn’t let her attend Church and weekly counseling sessions anymore. Church was never her uncle’s thing, he tolerated it.
Aunt Eva was a devout member of the parish despite being a gang leader’s wife and she insisted that Esme maintained Christian values while living with them, so she took her along with her to every sermon and even encouraged her weekly counseling sessions.
In fact, she was the reason Esme wasn’t just handed off to Castro Peire the minute her uncle’s agreement with him was made, she insisted on a marriage and a proper wedding. This wedding was something she was excited about; she told Esme not to be worried, telling her that it would all work out in the end.
Apparently, her father did this to her as well, and her and Uncle Ash turned out just fine. She told Esme that she would learn to love her husband, that with time she’d see that this wasn’t so bad, after all it would be a home of her own.
Esme wasn’t so optimistic, but when she had told Father Christian what her aunt had said he seemed to be in thought for a long time before saying that God does in fact work all things together for the greater good.
And that maybe she could make a change within these people by introducing them to God’s word.
So, Esme had resigned herself to her faith and decided to just go along with it as she saw nowhere out. She decided that she would trust Father Christian and trust God.
That Friday was supposed to be dinner with Castro and then an appointment with his family doctor, apparently it was a family tradition on his side for both the bride and the groom to get a doctor checkup before the wedding.
So, with the wedding being only two months away with the final stretch of preparation under way and almost everything else decided now was a good time to get this out the way.
At first everything seemed fine with the checkup. The doctor asked her a few questions, took a blood sample, checked her ears, checked her eyes and did a once over on her vitals and reflexes.
He said everything seemed fine and handed her a form of hospital type dress and told her to change and lay on the bed.
He stepped outside to give her privacy but when he opened the door again, he entered with Castro and her uncle.
Esme felt a little surprised and was extremely uncomfortable. Esme was always uncomfortable whenever males were present with her not fully clothed, due to her history with her father, so she was extra cautious now, but what the doctor said next made all the color drained from her face.
He told her that they were just going to check her virginity now, he saw the look of horror on her face and said ” Don’t worry dear I’m just going to have a quick peek I won’t hurt you, and look your uncle and fiancé will be right here you’ll be fine I promise”, and with that he spread her knees apart and shined a bright light under her gown.
Esme was kind of in shock her brain took her back to those times with her father and she gripped the sheet and closed her eyes tight trying to imagine that she was anywhere else rather than there.
The doctor’s fingers probed around for a few minutes, and she felt just as dirty as she always had whenever this type of thing happened to her.
Finally, his fingers stopped, and he raised his head and slipped his gloves off, he turned the light off and only then Did Esme open her eyes.
She knew from the grim look of pity he shot her way that he was going to deliver the bad news to her uncle and Castro. He stood and gestured to the door “gentlemen let’s give the young lady some privacy”.
She gestured with a slight smile “you can change back into your clothes; the examination is finished”. When Esme finished changing back to her clothes, she dreaded going back outside but when she finally did neither of them were out there.
Instead, she could hear their voices rising from Castro’s study, she could make out Castro’s voice from here “You’ve got to be kidding me there is no way I’m marrying a whore”.
Her uncle’s voice rose as well “look a deal is a deal and I’ve already spent thousands on this stupid wedding, besides nobody on our side promised you a virgin″ Castro was indignant “but it was implied, for crying out loud you have her going to church every Sunday and you dress her like a non, I should have known it was a con, you are offering her to me.
You’ve packaged a whore as a saint given to me and you expect me to look the other way, forget about it! "
There was the sound of glass smashing. This was bad, her aunt was looking at her with tears in her eyes, the disappointment was obvious on her face.
Her uncle was the first one out of the room he turned and looked at Castro “look I did not know that she was not pure, but that was not part of the agreement, if you call off this agreement now let it be known that you are not a man of your word.”
Everyone in their world knew that your word was as good as money, to go back on your word is to lose credibility and honor.
Castro grit his teeth so hard you could see his jaw bulge his reply was “I’ll wait on the results from the blood tests if she’s clean, if she is we’ll go along with the wedding, Now get out of my house you’re polluting it with your presence.”
He shot her a scorned and disgusted look, and in that moment, she could have died she felt smaller than a speck of dirt.
As soon as they were through the front door of her uncle’s house he rounded on her, he slapped her so hard she saw stars and her eye stung she swallowed and tasted blood. “Who is it?” he demanded, she opened her mouth, and no words came.
He slapped her again just as hard “damn it I said who is it, who is it that you’re fucking?” he draped her by the collar and demanded.
“Is it one of the little boys you went to school with, no that can’t be it, I have eyes on you girls and you’re from school to home so who is it?”
“You’re fucking one of the guards, aren’t you?”
Esme was so overwhelmed she could barely creak out “I’m not sleeping with the guards I’m not sleeping with anybody”.
Her uncle was so enraged that he shoved her away from him, she landed hard slamming her elbow on the ground, but he wasn’t done with her he walked towards her, and she scrambled back.
“So, who was it huh? Who did you sleep with?” He asked that question over and over again and every time he didn’t get an answer, he landed her a kick.
After kick number 5 or 6 her aunt couldn’t take it anymore and screamed for him to stop it while pulling him away from her.
She was in hysterics at that point and that seems to calm him down a bit, seeing her in that state that is. He sat down on the couch looking down at her in scorn and disgust.
“After everything we’ve done for you, we took you in, fed you, cloth you even sent you to school and this is how you repay us, huh by disgracing us?
My God, your father must be turning in his grave, tell me who do you see whoring themselves out around here, your aunt is a pure woman, and your cousins are good girls.
The worst thing about this is you’re protecting the bastard; fine keep it a secret don’t say who it was.
Just know this if those blood tests come back positive for anything or if you do anything to piss Castro off and he calls off this wedding and alliance I’ll kill you and I’ll find out who the bastard is and I’ll kill him too”.
A/N: This book is already fully uploaded on my blog ChaeBooks (booksbychae.blogspot.com) i will be aiming to have it fully uploaded here with the next week or so.
