HIS SILENT REJECTION

~TROYE~

“Have you eaten?” Brayden asked while pulling me to sit down next to him, and Javier scrunched his nose in a frown as he sat next to us.

I had made plans to stay cocooned in my room today and for the next few days until Edward, who most people know as my brother, returns from his trip with his girlfriend.

“Yeah, I had waffles and pancakes before coming, and the pasta from this morning,” I answered, and Brayden nodded. Ever since we had that talk, he’s been more than just a friend to me. It is almost impossible to explain in words how good Brayden has been to me.

Sometimes I wonder how he has such a good heart; despite knowing I was once with his mate, he treats me as though I am something ever so precious, ignoring how filthy I am.

Most times, I wish he would just treat me the way I deserve to be treated, loathed and treated poorly because that was what I deserved for the pain I caused him during my time with his mate.

I smiled absentmindedly as Javier engaged us in a conversation about one of his many trips with Her Grace while they were still in Perth. Outwardly, it might have looked like I was listening to his story, but I couldn’t keep my mind from straying to the one person I shouldn’t be thinking about. Not when I’ve been actively trying to avoid him at all costs.

The last thing I wanted was for… The sound of the doorbell ringing cut through my thoughts, interrupting the story Javier was telling. All three of us glanced toward the door and Javier excused himself to go see who was out there.

I could hear the door opening from where I was sitting, and I felt that sweeping motion in my stomach before my wolf stirred with the words, ‘Mate,’ he whined pitifully, chanting the words and I was on my feet in an instant.

“Hey, what’s wrong? Where are you going?” Brayden’s voice came from somewhere in the room, but I wasn’t really paying attention anymore, as the only thing on my mind was an escape plan. I needed to find a way out of here before he came in.

I scanned the living room frantically as I weighed my options. Strong hands grabbed my shoulders, reeling me to an abrupt stop. “Why are you panicking?” Brayden queried, his voice filled with concern.

“Hide me,” was all I could manage because my mind was working on override and I wasn’t sure what was going on in my brain; it seemed it had completely shut down because I couldn’t think of a solution out of this.

“What? Hide you? Why would I hide you? Troye, what’s going on? You’re on the verge of hyperventilating.”

“Please, please, please. Please.” I tried to scramble out of his hold as the voices from the door got closer and his scent filled the room.

“Calm down; I don’t understand what you are saying. Who are you talking about?”

“He can’t see me. He can’t. I shouldn’t be here. I can’t… Please, this is bad, Brayden. Please, I need to… Your room, the guest room, I just…” Whatever I had to say next caught up in my throat as Javier walked in with Jaheem behind him.

My eyes snapped closed, heart beating at an alarming rate as his pheromones in the room overwhelmed my senses.

I knew the moment he felt the pull; I knew the moment that last bit of that connection that confirmed we were mates snapped in place. I felt the bond tug into place, resting against every one of my nerves and senses. I knew it was the same for him too because, against my better judgement, I opened my eyes and our gazes clashed.

Low, threatening snarls from Jaheem filled the living room. His gaze pinned me in place even as he started backing away, almost like he desperately wanted to put as much distance between us. I knew it was over even before he opened his mouth. I could feel my chest constricting and the mate bond strained.

“Mate?!” He all but questioned in a growl, his voice filled with nothing but disgust. I knew that disgust was for me; there was no other person here he hated more than me.

“I am doomed,” I whispered in defeat, finding the will to break eye contact with him and I cast my gaze down.

From the moment I found out he was my mate, I knew nothing good would come out of him finding out for himself. It was after Javier and I became serious. At least to me, that was what our relationship felt like at that point. The beta had kept me at arm’s length ever since he saved me from those wolves. But he had soon become my safety, the only man I felt safe around and I dreaded losing that safety net.

Giving Javier my virginity had been easy; I trusted him. It was better to have him than to get raped by some hormone-fueled alpha. After the first time, things between me and Javier just went easy; I could almost envision him as mine, and I was happy. At least, as happy as I could convince myself that I was. Until that night when I heard Javier’s loud voice arguing with someone. We had just finished having sex, and he was supposed to bring me water and then I heard the rising voices. If I had known, I would’ve stayed in the room. But something had me moving that night. I felt the familiar pull, and I had blindly followed it.

The event of that night still feels like a dream. One minute I was in bed waiting for Javier, and the next I was standing behind him in the living room. Living room, and standing across the room, was my second chance mate in a screaming match with the Beta I was sleeping with.

One glance my way was all it took for me to realise that the moon goddess was out to punish. That night was my first time coming face to face with my mate and I had never felt hate like that from anyone. The minute his eyes landed on me, I knew there was no hope for us. He had snarled at me, called me names, a whore. That was what he called me that night. I soon learnt he was the Beta who was in love with Brayden, Javier’s mate. I knew right there that it was over for me.

The only way I’ve been able to keep this truth to myself was because Jaheem hadn’t turned eighteen then, so he hadn’t felt the mate bond. He was perhaps two months or a month from turning eighteen then and I had done a very good job at evading him, especially after Javier and Brayden got back together.

It’s been seven months since that night. Some months of me avoiding him like a plague. But that didn’t mean a part of me didn’t yearn for my mate. Seeing the way he confronted Javier that day because of Brayden and how he boldly declared his love for Brayden was what I have always craved, what I have always wanted. What I wanted was someone who wouldn’t shy away from claiming me before anybody, but his hazel eyes met mine, and all I saw in those beautiful hazel eyes was disgust and hatred for me. And I knew he’d never be mine.

He was in love with Brayden. Even now, he still is in love with the Delta. Despite his anger and disgust towards me right now, his eyes held none of that malice when Brayden called his name.

He still looks at Brayden the way I wish someone would look at me—like I am a treasure worth cherishing, but even I know I wasn’t worthy of such love, especially not from Jaheem.

A whimper slipped past my lips at the thought and that snagged his attention back on me.

“What the fuck is the slut doing here, and can somebody explain to me why, in all goodness, he has to be my mate?” Jaheem bellowed, anger rolling off him in fumes.

“Jaheem…” Javier started, but he could barely get another word out as Jaheem continued.

“Him?” He hissed. “Of all the omegas in this pack, is the moon goddess fucking with me or something? Giving me this whore as a mate. Is this some kind of fucked-up prank? It better be because there is no way in hell__.”

“Watch what you say, Jaheem!” Brayden snapped before Jaheem could continue with his word vomit.

Jaheem’s mouth snapped shut, his nose flaring as he turned to face Brayden. And I expected, I guess I expected, him to snap at Brayden, but I watched his expression go soft for a moment until his gaze turned to me and his eyes narrowed.

The disgust in his eyes, the words he had just said, cut through me like a knife, but can I blame him? I knew this was coming; I saw this coming from a mile away and if I were in his position, I would hate me, too.

I didn’t delude myself into thinking he could see me as anything more than the slutty omega who had thrown himself at Javier, who had tried to steal another wolf’s mate. I knew all he saw as he glared at me was the omega who had whored himself out to the mate of the man he was in love with. And I couldn’t really blame him.

“Jaheem, you need to calm down. Don’t say things you would regret. The moon goddess never makes mistakes.” Javier muttered, eyes flitting back and forth between us. I could see the question in his gaze—I felt it in Brayden’s stare two. They were both wondering if I had known, how long I had known that the Beta was my mate.

Javier was wrong, though. We often think the moon goddess never makes mistakes, but I have learned that she does, in fact, make mistakes.

Because why would she pair me with someone perfect for me, and then she took him from me? She knew I would never find happiness with my first mate, yet she paired us, only for her to snatch him from me when I least expected. I suffered that loss for years—I am still suffering it and yet again she has paired me with a wolf who loathes me. How does that not count as a mistake?

Maybe she made a mistake with my first mate, but this time around, this isn’t a mistake, but my punishment.

“You knew, before now, that he’s your mate?” Brayden asked me, and I nodded my head weakly with a tight smile because that was all I could offer in response.

“Oh, goddess. Troye,” Brayden whispered, already moving closer to pull me into his embrace.

I tried to stay strong, to act like Jaheem’s reaction did not affect me, but I couldn’t stop the tears that welled in my eyes and they were spilling down my cheeks.

“Why didn’t you say anything? Why did you tell me, or Javier?” Brayden asked.

He should know why. He has to know why; what was I supposed to say?—So, hey, Brayden, the boy who is in love with you, is my mate, and he knows I used to fuck your mate and he hates me, but it’s whatever.

“I…”

“No,” Jaheem snapped, cutting me off. “This is stupid,” he muttered, shaking his head. “He is not my mate. I refuse to have him as my mate. I don’t care what he has to say; I don’t give two rats about whatever the moon goddess has planned, but this is some bullshit mistake.” His jaw ticked as he spoke, and his hands balled into fists.

I knew what was coming before the words even left his mouth. I felt the weight of what was about to happen and my entire body locked up as I watched as his lips moved.

“I, Jaheem Marshal, reject you, Troye, as my ma__.”

“Jaheem. No!” Brayden growled, removing himself from my side in a flash. He slapped his palm over Jaheem’s mouth, his chest rumbling with growls as Jaheem tried to peel Brayden’s palm away from his mouth.

“I will not let you destroy the best thing that can ever happen to you. I would not stand by and watch you reject him as your mate,” Brayden snarled at him, and I shook my head.

There was no saving this, us.

There was no saving us. I can already feel the pinpricks of pain of his intended rejection. He might not have completed his sentence, but the pain had transferred. My wolf had felt that partial rejection and I can feel its strain on our mate bond.

Brayden doesn’t know what he is saying, because I doubt if I’ll ever be the best thing to happen to Jaheem. The best thing that ever happened to Jaheem was Brayden, and I’ll never be Brayden.

“Troye?” I looked at Javier at the sound of my name. He moves towards me and I shake my head as tears roll down my cheeks.

I could still hear the muffled grunts of Jaheem. My attention shifted back to him, and my heart clenched as his heated gaze burned into me with hatred.

If only I had the strength to reject him instead, but I couldn’t, even if I wanted to. While Brayden tried to get Jaheem under control, I used the last bit of courage I had and bolted out of the living room.

I know running away from my problem solves nothing, but at least it would keep my problems away for as long as possible. Brayden won’t always be there to stop him, and I know soon enough that rejection will come. I just need to prepare myself mentally for that day. As for today, I’ll just run because it’s my only escape.