Chapter 1
I’m entering my chain of thoughts while driving by in this old and shabby bus number 25. Looking out of the window, I see people rushing by and staring at their phones. Isn’t it sad when you think about it? There isn’t a minute or an hour anymore without using those little devices. We forgot about being aware of our environment.
Like you already know dear diary, I started hating technology the day when my future changed. It all started with one message.
*Flashback*
“Ben, love, are you done soon?” I asked him entering his home office.
“Almost, honey. I have three more sentences and I will go get ready.” He told me without taking his eyes off the screen.
“Okay, I will be in the bedroom.” I turned around and went back to the room to touch up my makeup before leaving. 10 minutes later, Ben was ready to go.
“Ana, I’m done. Are we going?” He asked me while walking toward me to the makeup table.
“Just a second.” He leaned in and kissed me on top of my head.
“You look stunning honey.” We made eye contact through a mirror, “Thank you, love. You aren’t bad also.”
I got up and kissed him. Ben deepened the kiss and things got heated fast. But I needed to stop him before it was too late.
“We need to go, love. Everyone is going to wait for us at the restaurant.”
“We will continue this later”. Ben smiled and winked. I just smiled at that statement and took my coat and purse. We went downstairs hand in hand towards the car that was in front of our building, when Ben suddenly turned towards me.
“I forgot my phone, let me just go get it,” Ben said but I stopped him.
“No, let me. You go start a car and heating. It freezing outside, this isn’t normal anymore.”
“How you wish, honey.” Ben gave me a peck on my lips and went toward the car. While I went back upstairs to his home office. The phone was on the desk, right next to the laptop. I just took it in my hands and turned toward the exit, when the phone dinged with a new message.
Recipient: Stacy
“Honey bear, I just started my trip toward the spa. I can’t wait to see you tomorrow. P.S. I took that “dress” that you love. I’m waiting for you, don’t be long. xx”
I don’t know how long I stayed in that position, my eyes on the lock screen with a message. When suddenly the phone dropped from my hand and you could hear a cracking sound. At the same time, Ben entered the apartment. He saw his phone on the floor and I was frozen on the spot.
“Honey, what happened?” He went toward me with a concerned look. Something snapped at me at the given moment. I reached for the vase that was next to me in the hallway and I threw it at him. That vase was a gift when we first moved in together, but it didn’t matter anymore.
“How dare you? How you fu**ing dare to call me honey? You are still sleeping around. You told me it was over the day you gave me the ring. How could you? How could you lie to me? Not only that, you told me you are leaving for a business trip tomorrow in Frankfurt, but nooo” I was walking toward him with fury in my blood even after the vase missed him by a few centimeters.
“Honey, listen…”
“Don’t honey me. You lied to me. You were planning to go to the spa with Stacy. Is that dumb assistant of yours?” I stopped a meter from him and I think at that moment the whole building heard me and how loud I was screaming at him.
“Answer me Ben and this time try not to lie.” I looked him right into his eyes, but I think that was the worst decision ever. I started to feel betrayed and lost.
“Honey, calm down. I can explain everything.” He said to me while walking towards me.
“Don’t come closer to me and don’t you dare call me like that ever again” I stopped him.
He stopped himself and started to scratch the back of his head. That was a tell. He was going to lie to me. I knew him too well, but it seems not that well. I decided to end this before he hurt me more than he already did.
“You know what? Never mind, don’t bother yourself. You showed your true colors tonight. At least you had the dignity to do it 2 weeks before the wedding.”
“It isn’t how it looks.”
“It isn’t how it looks? Then how does it look, Ben? Please, show me one more time how good you are at lying.” Of course, I would say something like that. My curiosity always gets the best of me.
“ I won’t lie to you.” At those words, I just rolled my eyes and turned around towards the bedroom to start and pack my things. Ben decided to follow me and continue to talk.
“I admit I lied to you. I lied about the business trip and my relationship with Stacy. Yes, you were right, she is my assistant. But I can fire her, I can fix this. I can change my ways. I will change myself, for you, for us.” I couldn’t believe what I was hearing.
“You know I never was with just one woman before you, but that was until I met you” I snorted at that statement, while almost being done with packing.
“Try to understand me. It’s hard. But I will change my ways for you, honey. Just give me one more chance. Honey, I, I will give up all the women out there for you. Just please, stop packing.”
I was done with my suitcase. I turned around and looked at him directly in his eyes.
“It’s too late Ben. You should have thought about that before this. If possible, even before we got engaged. We are done, Ben. This, whatever this was for you, it’s over.” I took my suitcase and started walking towards the door. He didn’t even try to stop me.
“Before I go, I do have one more question. Did you ever love me?” I asked him with my back still turned.
“No. Not for some time.” That was all it took. I took off the ring and put it on the table next to the door and slammed the door after me. I don’t remember what happened next. All I know is that I ended up in front of my parent’s place. That was a night when we should have celebrated our love with friends, but in the end, it was a night when my future changed.
*End of flashback*
My train of thought ended with the irritated sound of a female voice that announced my station.
Till next time Ana, xoxo
