Chapter 1
The car speeds past another stop sign, i grip the seat belt tighter feeling my fingers starting to cramp. Father David nervously smiles at me through the rear view mirror, his sweat drowning his collar.
No one would tell me where I was going or why I had to pack everything. The sisters just kept coming up to me crying and hugging me. Telling me they will pray for me. That’s lovely and all but what the hell am I doing? Am I to be adopted? It can’t be that I am too old. Even the 12 year olds have slim odds and me? Well they should be nonexistent.
The sun sets quickly, the fear and adrenaline making me nauseous adding to the anxiety in my chest. It seems like Father has gotten a grip of himself and isn’t driving like a maniac but his tears are still visible. So is his silent prayer. I fall asleep never letting go of the seat belt. I have a feeling this isn’t going to go well for me, then again when has anything ever gone my way.
Dreams pop in and out from memories. Tending to the little children thrown into the hands of willing, people with hearts to turn no human down from love and a home. Father David said if he had the room and the money, there was no reason to tell a soul they don’t belong in the presents of the lord. I didn’t see much of the lord most days but Sister Helen said it was because God started my life on the rough side to test my faith . In reality it made me into asee it to believe itkind of person. I have yet to be in his presence.
Metal clashing awakens me and its pitch black all around me, i lean towards the middle hoping the surprise was Disneyland, my subconscious was the only one who laughed at the thought. He stops inches away from an iron gate and shuts off the car.
“Stay here.” He looks back at me and all I can do is nod as the anxiety murders any positive thoughts. He walks away from the car into the black of night and I can barely see him. It looks like he’s talking to someone but they are too far from the light. He drops to his knees and I start to tear up. His hands begging the person for what? His life, mine? A hand grips his shoulders and Father David nods as he picks himself off the floor and walks towards the car.
I don’t dare to unbuckle my seat belt and I try to keep the door locked as he pulls the handle. He pleads for me to open the door but I just beg right back for him to take me home. The same hand pushes him back slightly and the next thing i know is I’m met with blue grey eyes and a smile. Not a welcoming smile, but a smile that can already see the sinister plan he has for me.
“I’m Jonathan.” His voice coming in muffled through the car window. “Can you please stop these childish games, the harder you fight the worse it gets.” My heart drops as his words are so calm and soothing but their meaning tells me this is it. This is how it ends.
There’s no growing old with grandchildren running around or kids to hold your hand and praise you for the strength you’ve passed on. It’s just here and now a short 18 years of life, no experiences to account for or to be remembered by. Just the story of being abandoned by your birth mother and given to random strangers in a church.
The other door opens and I start to scream. Father David tries to calm me down as he pulls my bags out and reaches for the seat belt buckle. “Briana please.” The screaming stops and I grab his hands pleading for him to take us home. “Briana this is...” he pauses trying to keep himself together. “This is your home, these people need you.” My door opens and the tall man pulls me out of the car as if i was just a piece of lint, flicking me to the ground.
He grabs the collar of my shirt, dragging me along with him. My legs find no strength to keep up with his long stride. I try to pry his hand from me but it’s like cement to my body. “Please, please let me say goodbye.” He stops and looks down at me. His eyes annoyed and bored as he rolls them.
He leans into my face. His grip pinching my chin tight enough to make me whimper. “You run and there will be pain, not for you but for him.” He looks towards Father David. I look towards him holding my bags, too stunned to move. I nod and he unhands me. My knees scrape against the gravel and I run back to his open arms. Crashing into them with all my strength.
“I’m sorry, whatever I did I’m sorry. Please don’t leave me here.” I sob into his coat. Gripping him as if he’s the only thing that is holding me together.
“Briana you did nothing wrong, I’m the one who’s sorry. This has to be done, I can’t disobey these people. Just do whatever they say. They promised to take care of you, just do whatever they say.” He holds my face as he wipes my tears. “I’m sorry Briana, this is goodbye okay, take these and don’t fight them. Show them you’re sorry for anything don’t get on their bad side. They promised to treat you well. I’m sorry.” He wipes his tears again and attempts to push me away.
“Please.” My grip tightens and I hear a snap. In an instant I am pulled away from him. A force pushing me to the ground scraping my hands and knees against the gravel as I try to fight it. The only thing I could do, the only thing I was physically allowed to do was watch him reverse. Tears never ending watching the man who I looked up to as a father figure throw me away just like my mother. Now feeling any hold on me lift, I stand yards away from the waiting man. I walk back to him and he lends out a hand for my bags. I decline his help and stay close behind as we make it up the winding path.
“Briana...,” his voice breaks the silence that was only accompanied by shifting gravel and the midnight crickets. “that’s a nice name. We haven’t had a Briana in a while.” I ignore his small talk and focus on my feet. “Come to think of it I don’t think we’ve had a Briana. The last one was Cherry, what a whore’s name. She didn’t last long.” He fails again to get a noise from me.
I wonder how long I’ll last. Maybe make it past Cherry. Although, I have no right to try to compete with the unknown. What a stupid thing to think of,stupid stupid stupid fu-,I bump into his side as he stops. I look up and the breath escapes me. His mustache perfectly curling with his smile.
“Such self degrading habits.” He reaches a hand out towards me and I close my eyes bracing myself. Nothing. Nothing comes of it and I hear his distant chuckle as he walks through the front door. “If you’re going to stay out there all night I hope you brought a rain coat.” And on queue thunder roars through the sky forcing me to run after him to escape the cold droplets.
The home smells of dust and dirt. It reminds me of the funeral home. Old seats collecting a new layer of cobwebs. “It’s late so we’ll do a quick tour.” He takes my bags from me and I tighten my grip on my sweater, suddenly not know what to do with my hands. We walk from room to room. The kitchen, bathroom, living rooms, various seating areas and then it’s the 2nd level. “These rooms are to not be stepped in unless given permission, do you understand?” I nod. He runs his fingers through his black hair staring into my eyes. His smile fading as if he can hear me begging anyone to put me out of my misery. “Your room is here.” Of course all the way down the creepy hall. “The lights are on a schedule. They turn off at 11pm and are able to be turned on at 9am. Most days if I’m being completely honest you won’t really need them with all the sunlight that catches the house.”
He opens the door and the moon light gives him little away. “Matches are on the bedside table, candles are on the last drawer, again if you don’t really need the light try not to turn it on.” I nod and wait by the door as he tosses my bags on the bed and opens the 3 other curtains allowing the room to be more visible. “Get some rest, we’ll talk again tomorrow.” He walks towards the door and before he can leave I finally find the strength to speak.
“Why am I here?” The words shaking from my chapped lips.
He turns and looks me up and down, I tighten my grip again making sure I was still dressed. “We’ll talk in the morning.” He shuts the door and his footsteps fade. I walk to the windows hoping they open but they were already ahead of me. I try to calm my breathing and push down the tears. Unsuccessful to my plan to jump off the balcony I sit on the bed trying to wrap my head around this. The sheets feel new, they feel like the only thing that doesn’t have layers and layers of dust on them. I look around the room and see no sign of any cobwebs or that the room has been neglected like the rest of the house.
I just want to go home. I finally let myself release the sob I so tiredly kept in. But that was it, I didn’t have a home. The church was not my home, the orphanage behind it was most definitely not my home either. The thought of not knowing what I would do if I was actually able to escape this place melts my brain.
A sudden shift in the air makes me gasp. Cold freezing wind whirls around me. I look at the closed windows then to the corner of the room. Unlit from the moon or lightning. I can feel its presence, darkness staring back at me. I slowly round to the other side of the bed, keeping eye contact to the part of the room I knew someone was watching me from. I give myself a second from looking away as I pull out a candle and matches. On my third attempt I finally seem to get the damn thing lit. Not bothering with a holder I walk towards the corner trying to tell myself it’s just the fear, there’s nothing there.
Oh how I was wrong. Always stupidly wrong. A smile of pure evil forms and as I trip on the carpet it makes the candle wax splash over my wrist and the flame disappear. I walk back terrified, so so terrified I thought my heart would stop.
“Well, aren’t you a sight for sore eyes.” His face pure beauty, as if created to be gazed upon. His eyes almost black but as he comes closer to the moon light they flash with warm brown. Yes, feast on me, drink me in, I am and will be what you will beg for. The voice rings in my ear. A curl dropping down his forehead as he tilts his head, taking in his next meal. His broad shoulders shaking as he laughs at my disbelief of what is in front of me.
“Please, please I-,” he cuts me off quickening his steps towards me. So fast I didn’t have time to even take not one step away. He catches the candle with one hand and it disappears from his grip the other around my waist pulling me towards him. His body hard like a steel wall nothing would be able to pierce. He takes his now free hand and grips my slightly burnt wrist.
“Wax play on the first date?” His grin pouring out amusement. I try to pull my wrist away as he lifts it to his lips but his strength far greater than my own.
“I don’t even know your name and you already think I’m willing to give you the time of day.” I grit through my teeth trying to out win his grip. He lets out a laugh, a laugh so grand it feels like warm sun on my face. I can’t explain it, just a look from him and my body instantly defies my command to deem him a predator playing with his prey.
He presses his lips to my wrist, ice cold chills run up my spine and i know he can feel my body’s response as he smiles against my skin. He lets me go and I cower to the other corner of the room, watching him stalk towards the door opening on its own.
“Don’t worry darling, you’ll be screaming it soon enough.”
I didn’t dare leaving that corner. Sliding down it in exhaustion, I curled into the smallest form of myself hoping I am not introduced to whatever else lives within these walls. A shiver rakes through my bones as the night’s temperature drops lower and lower. A warmth fans over me and because the last time the temperature shifted i was met by a nightmare I looked around. Trying to brace myself for round 3 of horror. But nothing, just warmth wrapping around me.
Unknowingly, it soothes me to sleep and I find myself slipping away from the anxiety of any little sound.
