Chapter 01:
After nine fucking years in the same shitty school, I’m finally in a new school… Nobody knows me, nobody knows the mistakes I’ve made, nobody can judge me… Or that’s what I thought…
I fell to the ground when somebody put their foot in the middle of the way.
—Oopsie, my bad— A tall guy said, chuckling softly—. You alright there, little buddy?
—Yeah, thank you for putting your foot in the middle of my way— I said, sarcastically.
The guy raised an eyebrow and smiled smugly. —Anytime.
—Pelotudo…— I walked away, straight to my first class of the day.
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—Okay, class, silence!— Miss Sophia, the teacher, yelled— We have a new classmate today. Please, introduce yourself.
—Hi, my name is Juan. I’m from Argentina, Buenos Aires… And I would like to make new friends!— I was trembling, oh, I hate to be the center of attention for so long— Can I… sit now?
—Oh, of course— The teacher smiled at me—. I spouse you don’t see very well in the back of the classroom because you wear glasses, so, sit right there, next to Zak.
When I looked at the seat next to the window, the tall guy who made me fall earlier was looking at me, with the same smug smile. Ugh, I don’t even know him and I already hate him…
I sat next to him. But I didn’t speak to him, or even bother to look at him.
Finally, the “recreo” started, or as they call it, the “lunchtime” started. It’s so weird to have a tray full of food, usually, I only have a taper with two empanadas de pollo… I want to eat empanadas de pollo now…
—Hey there, nerd— I heard a voice behind me—. What’cha got there?
—Lunch? Duh. I mean, what else…— Before I could finish the sentence, Zak grabbed a fist of my hair and hit my head against the tray full of food—¡Agh! ¡Hijo de puta! ¡¿Qué mierda te pasa?!
—I’m sorry, I don’t speak Mexican.
—You are a stereotypical bully who knows NOTHING about geography! I’M FROM ARGENTINA, NOT FROM MÉXICO, YOU… DUMBASS!
—Did you just call me “dumbass”?— His cocky grin disappeared, and he looked at me with an annoyed face.
—Y-Yes…
—Oh, now the little boy with the face full of food thinks he’s a bad guy? I’ll show you what a true bad guy is— He punched me in the face, making me go backward.
The whole cafetería went silent, and a bunch of people surrounded us to see how this fight would end.
—You little… You big piece of shit!— My nose began to bleed.
Zak laughed. —Who’s the dumbass now?
—It’s still you…— Five milliseconds after I said that, he punched me in the stomach, making me throw up the little I ate. Not the first time it happened, anyway.
—Gross…— He laughed again.
The lunch break finally came to an end, and we all had to go back to class. I ran to the restroom to stop the bleeding from my nose.
Once there, I tried to stop the bleeding.
—¿Quién se cree que es?— I whispered to myself.
{Who does he think he is?}
When my nose bleeding stopped, I went back to class.
Blah, blah, blah, math, blah, blah, blah, numbers, blah, blah, blah, Juan, are you listening?
—¿Eh?— My brain started working again— Oh, uh… I think so?
—Okay. Can you give me your sheet?— The teacher knew I wasn’t paying attention, oh, shit, Tierra, abrite y tragáme…
I looked down at the sheet… It was all drawn with random characters, eyes, lips, mini-me’s, and me insulting Zak and “cagándolo a trompadas”, or “beating the shit out of him” as they would say.
—Uh… No… Sorry, teacher, I wasn’t really paying attention, I have a little ADHD problem.
—Uh-huh, whatever. Pay attention, please.
—Y-Yes…
And the rest of the days were exactly the same. Just me and Zak, insulting and fighting with each other.
Finally, September eighteen came, it was my birthday! I’m finally 17! I dyed my hair pink, and I left my hair to grow a little, reaching a little below my shoulders.
When I went to school, everyone laughed at me. They were calling me names like “gay boy”, “effeminate”, or even “camp”... What the fuck does CAMP even mean?!
When school ended, I was trying to find the maths book I left in my locker.
—Hey there, camp!— of course Zak wouldn’t lose the opportunity to bully me about it.
—Don’t call me that!
—Aw, the little boy is getting mad?— He won’t stop teasing me, will he?
—Shut up!
—Or what? You will gonna tell to your mommy that I’m bothering you? Go ahead, gay boy.
—Stop it! And I’m not gay!— I lied.
—Oh, it doesn’t look like— He laughed—. You look so “ladylike” right now.
—That’s not true! … Is it?
Zak laughed again. My cheeks went red in less than a second.
—You even act like a gay boy!
—That’s one of the most homophobic phrases I’ve heard, and I’m from Argentina, one of the most racist countries!
—Uh-huh. Let me tell you something, buddy…— He bent down and whispered in my ear— There’s no place for people like you in this school.
—Whatever, dude— I turned around and walked away.
Zak grabbed me by my forearm roughly. —You think you can run away from me that easily?
—Let me go…
—Nah, I want to have some fun with you— He dragged me somewhere not-so-near the school, it was an alley.
—Hey. Hey! HEY! Let me go, you imbecile!— I tried to escape from his grasp.
He threw me roughly to the floor. —“Imbecile”, huh?— He kicked me.
The air left me for a second.
—Just look how pathetic you are— he spat on my face. Gross.
—HEY, leave him alone!— A boy yelled, wasn’t he Zak’s friend? “Evan” was his name?
—Oh, please, now you want to be their hero? You would be another socially rejected idiot if it weren’t for me. And you still want to ignore that because of a nerd?
—I am only a shadow for you and everyone else, so I do not care if we used to be friends in primary school, now we are not friends anymore.
—Ugh, whatever— Zak left us alone.
—Hi, I-I’m Evan— Evan helped me to get up— Are you okay?
—Y-Yeah, thanks… Didn’t notice you were British.
—Huh? Oh, yes, I am— He smiled.
—Why did Zak say that?— I asked him.
—Say what?— He raised an eyebrow.
—Why did he say that you would be another “socially rejected boy” if it weren’t for him?
—Oh, that… Well, it’s a long story.
—I have all the time in the world, I’m a fucking chismoso.
—What does “chismoso” mean?
—It doesn’t matter, just answer me…
He giggled. —Fine… When Zak and I were in primary school we were best friends, but then I found out I liked boys and girls… And, well, I tried to hide it, and Zak always made me feel good, and he always used to say how cool I was near girls and all, a lot of stupid things that made me think for a while that he was cool. But he doesn’t like who I truly am…
—Brutal…
He giggled again. —What?
—Nothing… Weird things I usually say because I am an idiot.
—You aren’t an idiot.
—Trust me, being near Zak made me one.
Evan wheezed. —I can say the same.
I smiled. He smiled back.
—Hey, can you say Tuesday?— I smirked.
—I won’t say it.
—Aw, why not?
—Because you want me to say “Chewsday”.
—Chewsday, Innit?
He smirked.
—A bottle of water?
—A bo’le of wa’e’.
I started laughing. —Candy!
—Sweet— he replied with a smile.
—Why is different?!
—I don’t know.
—Why did you decide to help me?
—Because I like you…
My smile faded in less than a second.
—But I don’t like you… I don’t even know you at all.
—Yeah, I know. But we can know each other, and maybe, over time, we can be something else.
—At least we can be friends for now, right?— I looked at him.
—Of course we can! There’s no need to rush things… I won’t make you do things you don’t want to.
—Thanks.
—Well, see you tomorrow?
—Sure!
Evan kissed me on the forehead and he left me alone. —Bye!
—B-Bye!— for some strange reason, I felt my cheeks burning under my skin.
I went to my house, the only place where I can be myself, where I can draw what I want.
—¡Juan! ¡Llegaste!— My little brother ran towards me.
{Juan! You’re back!}
—¡Hola, Benzo! ¿Mamá está en casa?
{Hello, Benzo! Is mom at home?}
—No, todavía no. Sigue trabajando…
{No, not yet. She’s still working}
—Ah… Entonces hoy tomó horas extras.
{Ah… So she’s working overtime.}
—Aparentemente— Benzo pouted.
{Apparently}
—Worry not, little bro! Because I will cook some delicious EMPANADAS!— I posed like a hero— ¿Me acompañás a comprar?
{Will you come with me?}
—Sí, dale.
{Yeah, sure.}
—Bueno, pero bancame que me voy a cortar el pelo…
{Okay, but wait that I’ll cut my hair off…}
—¡¿Por qué?!
{Why?!}
—Porque , no sé, me cargaron en la escuela, y al final decidí que quiero volver al negro.
{Because, I dunno, people laughed at me at school, and in the end, I decided I wanted to go back to black.}
—¿Sólo porque te hicieron burla?
{Just because they bullied you?}
—Y, bue, es mejor ser otra persona pero respetada, que ser yo mismo y ser un payaso…
{It’s better to be another person but respected than be myself and be a clown…}
I grabbed some scissors and I went to the bathroom. There I cut my hair off.
