The Delusional Psycho | KTH

The wind was hitting her face as she rides her scooter after completing her last delivery order. She was heading home, the roads almost cleared, fog covering the city and only the sounds of few vehicles in a distance audible.

She stop at the red traffic light, despite none traffic or any other cars present, she didn't crossed the red light only because she would get a fine and she did not have the money for it so why not just wait for sometime.

After waiting for what felt like eternity, the lights turn green and she started her scooter and rode off to her house.

Parking the scooter beside her door, she tiredly step to the doorway and take out the keys. As she was trying the keys on her door, she heard fade footsteps. Sensing someone behind, she immediately turn around but saw no one.

This happens every time. She think of it as her mind playing games with her. She was way too tired and she was probably imagining.

She get inside and locked her door trying not to make a sound and slowly sly footed towards her room. As she reach the knob, she flinch at the sudden voice.

"Again late." She turn around putting a fake wide smile on her face as she speak, "Just got some work overload Ria." Her dorm mate was not having it as she tap her foot on the ground continuously.

Eliana! How many times I had told you that atleast come home on time so I don't create the worst scenarios in mind about you." Ria said as she fold her hand on her chest. "I need to work for money Ria." She said simply and without another glance at her best friend, she walk in her room closing the door behind her.

Ria sigh and went to her own room relieved atleast that her friend is at home safely. Eliana toss her bag to the chair and take off her almost ripped shoes and drop herself on the bed. Tears leave her eyes and soak in the pillows as it slowly started raining outside.

She whisper looking at the cracked ceiling, "Why did you leave me so early mom dad!" She swipe her hand on the cold sheets. "There's no one to warm me up mom...hug me please..." She sob hard thinking of the things she want to talk about, her work, her scary neighborhood where atleast a person dies every night, her expenses, her worn out heart, her only brother.

"Mom...brother left me alone too...he did not fulfill your last wish of keeping me safe...

Warm tears leave her eyes as she sob into the mattress.

Just like that she slept complaining to the ceiling all night.

----------

In the morning, she woke up with the most worst headache ever. This was her routine, working her ass off whole day to earn money to live and eat, and come home and cry to sleep. What a wonderful routine...

She pick up her phone and check the time, she jumped on her feet when she realize she is late to university. She splash the cold water on her face while brushing her teeth. In five minutes she came out and open the broken big closet of hers that even had holes in it.

Noticing that she didn't washed her clothes on weekend because of part time job. She let it be and grab her bag and phone and hurry out of the house.

A smile spread across her face seeing her best friend still waiting for her in her car. She get in. "I'm sorry, woke up late." She said clasping the seat belt around herself. Her friend open the board and pick out a handmade sandwich and pass it to her.

"Atleast take care of yourself, your waist is becoming thinner than my thigh." She laughed and took a bite of it while the car drove to their university. They talked and listened to some of their favorite songs.

This was the only time she would be happy even if it was just to forget her struggles. Ria parked the car in the usual spot and before Eliana can get out, she hold her hand and kept some cash on it. "I know it might not be enough but I hope it helps" Ria said looking away because she didn't wanted her to feel that was pitying her.

Eliana felt tears brim her eyes that she can't even return the money to her because she actually needs it, she pull in her best friend for a hug and whisper. "I can't even say I will pay you back." Ria laugh and tried to enlighten the mood. "Na uh, I want it all back once you get rich."

Eliana laughed at her attempt to joke and then get out of the car and wipe her tears and put on a cold expression as she enter the university. She took big steps and fast steps to reach her locker.

Opening it, she felt her lips slightly go up from the corner at the old pic of her older brother. "He said he would come back...." She thought.

She pick up her books that she needed and as she close the locker, she flinch badly at someone standing right next to it. She put a hand to her chest and calmed herself.

"Good morning!" The boy said smiling. She didn't t return back the smile and said. "Your smile is much brighter than my future." The boy laughed heartily and said. "You got some nice humor." She deadpan at him. "I wasn't joking" The boy stopped laughing and smiled weirdly.

"I'm jhope by the way." He fall into steps with her. She kept walking annoyed as the boy was not leaving her alone. "And yours?" The boy asked smiling and she spat back. "I don't tell my names to strangers." She said and walked ahead of him and he just stood there in between the crowd of students looking at her back.

"Oh too bad, I know your name!" He whisper to himself.

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Looking out the window as her mind calculated her month salary and how it would be better to spend wisely. The sky was dark and it seemed like it would rain again soon. Her mind was messed up with things she could barely handle.

She look at the chemistry teacher trying her best to get something in the students mind. "Isn't it amusing that teachers also feel the same pain when one cannot understand what you are saying?" She thought.

She look around bored and her headache was not helping it, she stood up and asked for the restroom and got out of the class. She sigh as the corridors were silent as she make her way to the restroom.

Suddenly, the bells rings continuously and she stops because it was unusual. The speakers voice was loud in the silent corridors as the man speak.

"Teachers and students! I require your attention please. Attention, do not panic in this condition, there is a report from the police delivered to us that a serial killer had entered the school after running from the central jail, I request you all to please stay where you are and lock the doors and stay hidden till we check he whole place."

The speakers were still speaking but she wasn't able to hear it as she felt her knees go weak.

********************

It's 2:am...

The house is quiet,

Everyone's asleep.

But I lay awake,

Awake on my sheets.

I stare at the ceiling,

Then look around my room.

Someone would say, a little bit messy,

I assume.

Nothing where it belongs,

Nothing where it should be.

And then I realize,

How alarming it must be.

The messy room reflects my messy mind,

The messy thoughts which keep me awake at night.

My mind is like a bookshelf.

It needs to be organized,

It needs to be read.

Read by someone who understands,

Understand the things I can't.

But no one there.

Me, my room and my mind.

Reflecting each other at the middle of the night.

So what can I do?

I ask myself.

Knowing that tonight will always repeat itself.

Not strong enough to get my mess together,

Not strong enough to get better.

To get better at keeping my room organized,

Cause I know it reflects my messy mind.

2:am

(Poem by Tuana)