A Prince Charming Story

Wheat fields everywhere, no shade as far as my eyes could see, and the sun was shining annoyingly bright. Great. This whole situation was just – great. I let out a deep sigh. At least there’s no mosquitoes around, that’s what he said earlier to cheer me up. Or was he being sarcastic? But yeah, it was too bloody hot outside for even mosquitoes to thrive. What day was it? Tuesday? How long had we been out here? I mean I’m losing track here. I peered back at Adam, he was casually eyeing his map as he let his horse walk slow on the dirty path.

“There’s a village up ahead.” He didn’t sound tired at all, I thought. How could he always stay so remarkably positive and happy?

“Really? “I answered with a tone of disbelief. I scanned the area and couldn’t see the slightest sign of any human activity.

“Yup, you’ll see.”

There it was again, my Adam, so positive. After riding a few more minutes, I realized he was kinda right, well, sort of. It wasn’t much of a village, just a few houses and a barn standing together in the middle of a bunch of mudfields that a few men hopelessly tried to plough.

“I’m guessing those fields we just passed-” I started.

“Belongs to the marquis of Carabas,” he added.

“What an idiot,” I said with a bitter chuckle.

“Hah, you can do better than that,” Adam snickered and winked at me.

“Turd... “

”Not even close,” he laughed.

The Marquis was hated for his bad attitude and well known for his wealth and not caring for the people less fortunate, like these folks in this tiny hell hole. I sighed as we stopped in front of the first house.

I could see Adams’ playful grin while he turned to me. "It’s your time to knock,” he said, but I didn’t feel like moving. My body was actually aching quite a lot after all those hours on horseback, and I knew it would feel worse if I stepped down.

“No, it’s”“not! I won’t,” I said with a pout on my lip.

“Come on, lazy ass,” he teased.

“Hey! I’m the prince, remember! You do as I say...”

“Oh, really?” Adam rolled his eyes and smirked at me; his smile always made my heart pound harder, and I couldn’t help but smile back. His lips were so intoxicating, and the way they curled made me want to...

“Excuse me, madam, we’re searching for young ladies who attended the ball a fortnight ago.”

A fortnight, I thought; that’s not long ago at all. Still, it felt like I’ve sat in this saddle for months now, my life passing in review. And it made me realize how much it sucked—my life. I wondered if I’d be happier living in a mud hole like this. I peered at the people who started to gather around us. They didn’t look happy at all; the whole scene was quite depressing, actually.

“And you are?” The old woman called out to us, and I studied the old hag that opened the door.

No one living in this shed would have traveled all the way to the castle to attend the ball. We all knew it. But it was part of my plan. I didn’t want to get married, and I didn’t want to find the owner of this fucking shoe. What I wanted was to spend as much time as I could with Adam, and maybe one day I’d work up the courage to tell him he’s the love of my life. I sighed as I admired his thick locks; the sun made them shift from a brown tone to a more golden one.

“C!... Charming..!.. My prince?.. wake up!” His voice finally came through, and I snapped out of my daydream.

“Eh, what?”

“Just hand me the shoe.” Adam sighed and reached out his hand, and I threw him the bag with a grin on my face.

“So what if the shoe fits?” the old lady of the house asked curiously.

“Then your daughter will follow us back to the capital.” Adam studied the poor farm girl that stepped out of the house. “She’ll get a bath and a haircut,” he mumbled. “And... marry the prince and live happily ever after by his side,” he added all too cheerfully.

I sighed dramatically at his words. “That wasn’t very nice.” To make amends, I stepped down from my horse and reached for my coin purse. “Here, good mother, take these coins. I know life is harsh out here, and I promise I’ll remember you when I’m crowned king,” I said with a monotone voice, but I actually meant it. Riding through villages like this had opened my eyes to the harsh realities some folks endured while we ate beef and plum pudding back at the castle.

“Thank you kindly, your majesty,” the old woman said, making a weird-looking attempt at courtesy.

I cleared my throat, and I had to turn away and bite my knuckles, trying my best not to laugh out loud. In my defense, she did look extremely funny.

Adam, who’d been kneeling in front of the girl, stood up and shook his head. “I’m sorry, it doesn’t fit.”

But the young girl shrugged, “Don’t be sorry, I didn’t really want to marry him anyway.”

Me and Adam shared a surprised look, and I shrugged my shoulders. “Well, good. I mean, great. No hard feelings then,” I stuttered. “Have a good day, miss.”

We both gave them a polite bow and returned to our horses. It’s not like I walked around thinking every girl in the world would want to marry me. I’m not that self-centered. But most of the of the girls we’d met didn’t seem sad about the fact that they wouldn’t become princesses. And it was quite a blow to my confidence. Somehow, I thought a girl living in these conditions would accept any change. But I guess I was wrong; maybe she was happy in that mudhole. There was, of course, that one girl who’d become hysterical and tried to cut off her own toes to make her foot fit in the shoe. I shivered as I remembered the awful scene of her parents trying to hold her down to stop her. There was blood everywhere and hysteria in her eyes. Poor bastard, I thought.

While riding through the village, I passed out a few coins to the residents. “You’re much too kind, my prince,” one shouted. “Good luck finding the princess.” Another called after us, but that one made me sigh.

Adam peered at me and gave me a sly smirk, “What’s so bad about it anyway?"

I sighed. "What? Getting married?"

"Yeah, you’ve met her already; I mean, I watched you dance with her all night," he continued.

Because I couldn’t dance with you, I thought but muttered, "because I want to be in love with the person I marry.”

He looked puzzled at my response. "What? Really? Hah, I never took you for the romantic type.”

“That’s romantic? I call it common sense.”

HE chuckled and rolled his eyes at me. “No one marries for love C; that’s just silly fairytale dreams.”

“Screw you.”

“What? It could have been worse; you could have been forced to kiss some sleeping princess; god knows what poisons they had been drinking.”

“Yeah, like, what’s his name again?" I chuckled.

He shrugged.“Don’t know, I’ve only heard them call him Prince.”

“Wow, that’s weird. Like a dog. Come here, Prince!” We both laughed our lungs out. “I’d rather be a dog than a frog though.”

The truth was, every neighboring kingdom had a special story, and there was always a prince rescuing a princess from evil queens, stepmothers, fairies, or whatever. But there wasn’t much action around here, and I was quite happy about that. And to be fair, I never wished to leave on one of those rescue missions the other princes rushed off to. Fighting dragons, sea monsters, and thornbushes wasn’t my cup of tea.

“I heard they got divorced,” Adam said after a moment of silence.

“Good for them,” I snickered.

“So tell me, who would be your dream girl?”

Oh shit, I thought. How am I supposed to answer that? “I don’t know until I meet the person, do I?”

“Fair enough.”

I looked away, unsure of how to handle the situation. I would tell him, just not today. So now we rode in silence. My mood was getting worse by the minute, and suddenly I realized why: something sharp was hurting my back, something inside my bloody backpack. I reached inside the bag to correct whatever was poking me, and as I found it, I couldn’t help but freak out. “Fucking shoe...!”