Secret Royalty: Alpha's Claim by Julietcc at Inkitt
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Secret Royalty: Alpha's Claim

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Summary

Star, a slave in a grand mansion ruled by a ruthless Alpha , has spent her life enduring servitude and suffering. When a mysterious stranger arrives, Star discovers more about herself than she ever imagined. "Secret Royalty: An Alpha's Claim" is a dark, erotic tale of hidden strength, forbidden desires, and the quest for self-discovery. I’m a new writer and this is my first novel I would love any commentary and feed back thanks enjoy !!

Status
Ongoing
Chapters
7
Rating
4.0 1 review
Age Rating
18+

Chains of the past

I’ve spent most of my life in chains. Not the literal kind, at least not anymore, but the invisible ones that bind tighter than steel. The ones that mark you as property, as nothing more than a commodity. My name is Star, and I was sold into slavery when I was five years old.

It’s hard to remember my life before. Just fleeting memories of a warm home, my mother’s gentle touch, and my father’s booming laugh. That was before the men came and tore me away from everything I knew. Their faces are a blur now, but I can still hear their laughter as they handed me over to Mikael, the Alpha of this mansion.

I've grown up under Mikael's "care," if one could call it that. The mansion is grand and intimidating, a stark contrast to the life I lead within its walls. Each day blends into the next, filled with monotony and submission. Mikael's Betas, his enforcers, treat me as nothing more than an object for their amusement. They take turns using my body, deriving pleasure from my pain. Under their watch, I've learned to follow orders, keep my head down, and survive. Spoken words are rare treasures; most of my communication is through actions—fetching, cleaning, enduring.

Tonight, the air in my cell is thick with the scent of mildew and cold stone. My cell is small, with no bed, only a thin sheet to cover myself. I glance around at the iron bars that cage me in. The dim light casts long shadows, adding to the oppressive atmosphere.

"Girl, front and center," one of Mikael's Betas barks at me. His voice is rough, and it snaps me out of my reverie. I straighten up immediately. Obedience is drilled into me like second nature.

I walk towards the bars, my bare feet silent on the cold, hard floor. The Beta stands there, a cruel smile playing on his lips. He unlocks the cell door and motions for me to follow. Inside the mansion, the corridors are elegantly adorned, a stark contrast to my bleak existence.

"Sit," he orders, pointing to a wooden chair in a dimly lit room. I comply, my heart pounding in my chest. There’s a new tension in the air tonight, something unsettling. My instincts tell me something big is about to happen.

Minutes feel like hours. The door creaks open again, and in walks Marcus. He's different from the other men—more refined, dangerous in a quieter way. His eyes pierce through me as if he can read every scar on my soul.

"Star, is it?" he says. I nod, keeping my gaze steady but my guard up. Names are seldom used here; it catches me off-guard.

"My name is Marcus. I've been waiting for you."

My thoughts spiral. Waiting? What could they possibly need from a girl who’s lived her entire life in servitude? Each question tightens the chains of my past, but I remind myself to stay strong.

Mikael and Marcus speak in hushed tones off to the side, occasionally glancing back at me. I overhear snippets of their conversation – words like "potential," "wolf," and "transformation." My heart skips a beat. They've spoken of wolves before—legendary creatures, symbols of power, creatures we are supposed to be. But I've never felt anything inside me stir, no sign of a wolf, only the constant ache of a life stolen.

The night drags on, each tick of the clock echoing in my mind. As Marcus continues to assess me with his cold, calculating gaze, I’m left to wonder about my future. Every breath I take in this mansion reeks of power plays and dangerous secrets.

Just as the tension reaches a breaking point, Marcus steps closer to me, his voice a whisper that sends shivers down my spine. "There's more to you than meets the eye, Star. Much more."

I've learned to mask my emotions, but his words break through my defenses. What could he possibly know about me that I don't? My life has been one long, dark tunnel with no light at the end.

"I see a fire in you," he continues, almost as if speaking to himself. "A fire that Mikael could never extinguish."

Mikael walks back into the room, his presence as dominating as ever. He glances between Marcus and me, a smirk playing on his lips. "She's all yours, Marcus. But remember, the leash stays tight."

Marcus nods, his eyes never leaving mine. "Of course."

As Mikael exits the room, I feel a shift in the air. Marcus steps closer, his hand reaching out to touch my chin, tilting my face up so our eyes meet. "Do you remember anything about your past, Star?"

I swallow hard, my throat dry. "Only fragments," I whisper.


He studies me for a moment before dropping his hand. "You'll remember when the time is right."

I have so many questions, but I'm too afraid to voice them. What makes Marcus different? Why is he here? And most importantly, what does he want from me?

"The first thing you need to understand," Marcus says, his voice steady and commanding, "is that your life is about to change. Drastically."

Without warning, his grip on my arm tightens painfully. He pulls me towards him, his lips crashing against mine in a forceful kiss. My initial shock quickly turns to a struggle, but his hold is relentless as he pins me against the wall.

"You will learn to obey, Star," he growls, his breath hot against my skin. "Starting now."

I try to push him away, my hands beating futilely against his chest, but he overpowers me with ease. Tears spring to my eyes as he tears at my clothes, the sound of fabric ripping echoing in the empty room. His hands are rough and unforgiving, exploring my body with a cruel familiarity.

"Please, stop," I gasp, my voice breaking.

But Marcus only laughs, a dark, menacing sound. "There is no stopping this, Star. You belong to me now."

He forces me to the floor, his weight pressing down on me, suffocating. My cries for help go unanswered as he takes what he wants without mercy. Pain and humiliation blend into a numbing haze, and I retreat into my mind, trying to block out the nightmare unfolding around me.

When it's finally over, Marcus stands, adjusting his clothes as if nothing happened. I lie on the cold, hard floor, my body aching and violated, the remnants of my torn clothes the only testament to the ordeal.

"This is just the beginning," he says, and hurries out with a worried look on his face

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author

Beginnings can be tough. It may be the hardest part to write. You've got a good idea about where you want this to go though. Golden rule of writing: show, don't tell. Explore the scene of how she was taken from her family instead of just saying it happened. This will serve as a good hook to the story as well as get your audience emotionally invested. You want to do as much as possible to distinguish your books from other similar reads(a big reason why I don't read werewolf is that they all follow a similar storyline). I'll finish the chapter and leave more notes if I have any but I don't think I'm your target audience and as such won't be reading more. All the best with the rest of the story

2 years
author

Each question tightens the chains of my past... What does that mean? I don't get it. I catch glimpses of their conversation sounds off. Replace glimpses with snippets or something. That's all from me. You wrote the rape scene as tastefully as a rape scene can be written. Remember not to glorify rape in future. For a first time writer I'd say very well done. Maybe just remember to put more emotion into your writing. Once again all the best

2 years

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