Chapter 1
-They will have a HEA. English is my second language, so please forgive any mistakes.
- This book was marketed as erotica in the beginning, and I can’t change it now without unpublishing. Inkit says it is already approved and it can't be changed, sorry. The book is a romance, chick lit, sweet, alpha, second chance, regret, grovel, and not erotica.
I wasn’t very sure about going forward with this crazy idea. This place seemed even bigger and scarier than it did yesterday when I first came here. I signed up for the membership almost as soon as I walked in, without giving my brain a chance to react to my impulsive decision. Now, I wondered if I should have considered the implications more carefully.
Pressing my nose against the glass door, I tried to gauge whether the people inside seemed nice and harmless. Aside from the fact that everyone looked fit and gorgeous, no one appeared dangerous or mean—even if some of the men looked as muscular as houses. Why did they want to look so enormous, anyway?As I pondered that, I simultaneously made excuses for why I should just run back home.
Gyms were scary and dangerous. Running is still exercise, after all. Surely, there must be some scientific research about gym-related accidents somewhere. All sorts of embarrassing things could happen in there, too—people could fall, pants could rip, and necks could get injured. The possibilities were endless. You know what? I should go home ,buy some burgers and fries, watch television, and sleep.
I was sure this urge to start exercising would fade soon. I was already sweating, and I hadn’t even entered the gym yet! Gyms aren’t made for people like me. My heart raced, and the instinct to seek safety was overwhelming. I turned to walk back home when an annoyed voice came from behind me.
“Are you coming in, lady?” asked a handsome blond with a tattoo on his neck, making me jump and look at him in surprise. I felt myself flush with embarrassment as he raised his eyebrows at me as if I were blocking his path to an important meeting. Maybe the fact that I was standing in the doorway was the issue...
“Uhhg, sorry, of course.” You see? I’m already embarrassing myself! The blonde didn’t give me a second look. I stood aside to let him pass, and he quickly opened the door to let himself in. He did not even offer to let me pass. I followed him, and I almost got hit in the face by the door because he refused to hold it for me. I used my hand to stop the door from crashing. That is the type of attention I received from males. None at all.
I was the overweight girl, and boys didn’t glance twice. When I was in high school, the kids would call me all kinds of terrible names and didn’t care if it caused me pain or not. No boy wanted to date or take care of me since I was just the round girl.
I always wanted to be small, so that a boy could carry me effortlessly; I wanted to be lighter and smaller than all the men. The way the heroines were portrayed in books and movies made me feel a little uncomfortable because they were so small and delicate. They could be hoisted or thrown on a man’s shoulder with little effort, and they could sit on their lap without any issues. Someone would be better off calling an ambulance for a boy who tried to throw me on his shoulder.
I was aware that I was not this enormous monster. I was only 1,63m/5′3" and weighed roughly 87 kg/191 pounds, but my arms, thighs, and tummy were all round, and my clothes didn’t fit me properly. And reducing all of those things was my dream. I wanted my clavicle and jaw to be well-defined. Men might become more kind and gentle and give me a little more of their time if I had one of those.
At times, I felt invisible. I didn’t understand why men didn’t find me appealing because I thought I was lovely! Despite having blue eyes and light brown hair, I didn’t get as much attention as the other tiny ladies. Some males would even give me disgusted looks.
I knew it was wrong to compare myself to others and become so preoccupied with my appearance and attractiveness. However, it felt cruel to be surrounded by powerful influences that constantly told me I was too large or that I needed to be a size 6, wear tight jeans, and have a flat stomach. I struggled to meet those expectations.
My mom was usually kind and understanding; she didn’t pressure me too much to lose weight. She was smaller than me, which made me feel like a giant next to her. On the other hand, my dad’s family tended to have larger body types.
When I was a teenager, I recall my dad laughing and yelling, “Your ass is not going to fit!” as I got into his car. It was the most degrading and disgusting remark ever!
There were moments when I detested the fact that my dad’s aunts had round thighs and large asses! At times, I wanted to be as flat as a board so that I could buy clothes without looking like a gigantic peach or eat without feeling bad.
It was awful to think that way, but much worse was continuing to despise every aspect of who I was. I made the decision to push myself as a result, and I joined this well-known gym close to my house. I lived in a tiny apartment by myself not too long ago.
I didn’t like thinking that way, but it was worse to continue hating everything about myself. For that reason, I decided to challenge myself and enrolled in a well-known gym near my home. I lived alone in a small apartment not far from my parents. My mom was excited when I told her about my decision, and I wondered if I should have waited a bit longer to share it with her.
Anyway, here I was about to take this enormous step, and I wasn’t going to give up lightly!
I strolled carefully to the reception, taking note of all the attractive, casually dressed women mingling around the equipment. They looked so good...! But their outfits were a little weird. Their leggings appeared tight and see-through. Their boobs appeared like they were going to spill out of their cups. And the material on their buttocks had a vortex-like design...!?
If I tried to use something like that, people would complain about me...
The lady at the front desk was incredibly attractive and fit, and she looked at me with kindness. I approached her with a smile.
“Hi! I am Charlie. I was here the other day and chatted with another lady. I arranged an appointment today to start my training. “I believe I was assigned to Miss Janet, the trainer who will assist me.”
“It’s nice to meet you. I am Veronica. I’m delighted you joined our gym. I’ll call Janet in a minute for you, honey. “Do you already have your card and locker?” She inquired gently.
“Yes, I did receive everything yesterday.”
“Yes, I did receive everything yesterday.” Today I needed to do the worst part. Measurements and weighting. I hated balances and wanted nothing to do with them. It was more humiliating to have someone see the hateful numbers that would be shown. Thank God it was a female assisting me.
“Okay, Charlie. Just a minute; Janet will be here soon.”
Janet led me to a private room where I stood wearing my top and leggings. She asked me a few questions about my fitness goals—whether I wanted to be stronger, thinner, or more muscular. I expressed that I just wanted to be thinner and not feel squishy.
After that, I put on my baggy shirt that covered my backside and went with the trainer to start my exercises.I needed to complete three sequences of each exercise. During the first sequence, I thought it wasn’t so bad after all. By the second sequence, it felt a bit difficult but still manageable. By the third sequence, I was crying inside, and my muscles were protesting in agony.
After an hour of intense work, I heard some commotion and saw a serious, handsome man being surrounded by some of the beautiful women training, along with a few other guys. He was strikingly good-looking, almost in a military way, and I couldn’t help but stop and admire him.
“This is Mr. Dimitri Belanov, our boss. It’s so unusual to see him here today! He owns this gym and several others, but it’s rare for him to be around,” Janet commented as she excused herself to speak with him. I returned to my exercises, determined not to look in their direction. I needed to focus on my training.
That night, I arrived home with sore muscles, a sore back, sore arms, a sore head, sore ears—sore everywhere!It couldn’t possibly get worse than this, could it?
When I woke up the other day, I could barely get out of bed.
Janet had warned me about it but I didn’t realize it would be so brutal! At that moment, I considered giving up, but I had already paid for six months.Why did I do something so crazy? Ugh!
The following weeks taught me that the pain would eventually subside, even though the exercises would become more challenging. Janet was very helpful, and I started to notice improvements each day. I was still sweating a lot and I was nothing compared to the women who modeled on the exercise equipment. They looked like they were at a party, and if I didn’t know any better, I might have thought they were just there to have fun.
They made videos, flirted, played, and laughed. Some guys seemed to enjoy it, while others appeared annoyed. I preferred not to observe them, just in case they were mean girls or something.By the fourth week, I was trying to arrange some weights on one of the machines. Janet had already allowed me to do that by myself when a male hand suddenly appeared in my line of sight.
“May I help you?” I looked up, stunned to see Mr. Belanov standing in front of me. I thought he didn’t come to the gym much?
“Of course, sir. I mean... Mr. Belanov,” I stuttered, blushing. I was furious with myself for not being able to express my thoughts as clearly as they sounded in my head.I always appeared more clever in my imagination.
“I’m sorry, but I don’t think I know you yet. Are you new?” he asked politely while adjusting the weights for me.
“Yes, I started a few weeks ago. I’m Charlie.“He looked at me with his penetrating brown eyes, as if he were assessing all my thoughts and aware of my insecurities.
“Even if you know my name already, I’m Dimitri. Call me by my first name. How are you feeling? Are you adjusting well to your exercises?” he asked as he glanced at my program, where all my instructions were listed.
“I think I’m adjusting pretty well,” I said. “It was quite painful at the beginning, but now it seems like I’m getting better.” He nodded while continuing to read.I’m not sure if it’s common for the boss to speak to some of us like that, but I figured he was just being nice since I was a beginner.
“I noticed you a few weeks ago. I’m glad you decided to stick with it,” he said. “If you need anything, feel free to talk to Janet or any other trainer. Keep up the hard work, okay?”
“Thanks, sir!” I replied, realizing I’d accidentally used a formal title. “I mean, Sir Dimitri... I mean, Dimitri.“He chuckled and said, “See you, Charlie.” He was wearing a hoodie and black pants, looking so handsome that I felt flustered just because he’d given me some attention. He didn’t stop to talk to anyone else and headed toward the area where the offices were located.
Almost immediately, Janet was by my side, asking in a hurry,
“Did something happen? I saw Mr. Belanov here with you.” She appeared both curious and edgy.
“Oh no, he just helped me with the weights and asked if I was doing fine,” I replied.She looked shocked and disconcerted.
“Really?” she said, almost to herself, filled with wonder. “It’s not like the boss to be around.”
I didn’t understand her amazement and continued with my exercises, not giving much thought to the encounter. It was nice to have a man helping me, but it was simply a gesture of kindness; it would be foolish to think otherwise.
When I left the gym that day, some of the attractive ladies were looking at me with strange expressions. They were laughing and making gestures in my direction. I didn’t understand why they were focused on me. They had never paid me much attention before. Surely, it was just my imagination.
