New
It was the perfect day for a wedding. For once in this usually rainy corner of Washington, the sun was out, and there wasn’t a single cloud in the perfectly blue sky. The air hung heavy with heat and the birds sang in chorus amongst the trees.
The perfection of the day seemed to taunt me. I stood in my room, ignoring the bird song, fighting with myself. The square of paper in my hand felt as heavy as lead. It had arrived months ago, shortly after the alliance of werewolves and vampires had chased the Volturi out of Forks. Since then, I must have read it hundreds of times.
Set on a background of faded marigolds, the thick paper was edged with metallic stormy blue. The same blue coloured the curling script across the front, which read:
Please join us in celebrating the union of
Sam Allen Uley
&
Emily Louise Young
on May 19th, 2007 at 3:00 PM at Second Beach
The invitation was much fancier than what I had been expecting. And I had been expecting it. Dreading it, even. The words were simple but they were hard to stomach.
Something told me that the little pixie vampire—the one who had swept in at the last second and saved the day during the showdown with the crusty leeches from Europe—was responsible. Since the successful alliance, Sam had been much more welcoming of the vampire’s involvement. He had even revoked the treaty line. They were now free to visit LaPush as often as they wanted.
The two sides had made their peace.
There were still two sides at battle in my head.
Joe Strummer sang out in my head, a line from one of my favourite songs. Should I stay or should I go?
I flipped the invite over. Unlike all the other invites, mine had come with something special. On its back was a letter, scrawled in tiny script to ensure she had enough room for everything she wanted to say.
Leah, it began. I miss you.
I stopped there. I had expected this would be hard, but being prepared did little for the throbbing ache that had started in my ribcage. I took a deep breath and pressed on.
Leah,
I miss you.
I miss you like I would miss my own heart if it was cut out of my chest. Part of me is missing without you, something vital.
I can’t express how much I hate the distance that has grown between us. I know that our separation was the fault of my inconsiderate actions, but please know that my feelings for you haven’t changed. You are my sister. You always will be, in my heart. I love you, always and forever.
It would mean the world if you would consider being part of this special day. I know with everything that brought it about, it may be too much to ask, but I hope you might consider being my maid of honor.
If you can ever imagine forgiving me, please, please, please give it a thought. I am always open to talk. Just call me. Anytime. Anywhere.
Your sister forever,
Emily
I was surprised by a tear spilling down my cheek. I swiped it away, erasing it.
Like the jerk I was, I had never responded. I couldn’t. Not because I wanted to say no—if it was that simple, I would’ve replied straight away—but because I wanted to say yes.
Yes, our relationship had deteriorated significantly in this past year, but we were finally speaking again. Sort of. When she came to Mom’s barbeques, we exchanged greetings. And yes, I still nursed that grudge for her hand in ruining my life… But I would be lying if I said I didn’t love her, too. I hated that she was marrying Sam—my first and only love—but there was nothing that I could do about that. Not after he, the Alpha, imprinted on her.
For the old me, the answer would’ve been easy. However, things had changed. In a new pack, granted the reprieve from Sam’s innermost thoughts, my wounds were slowly but surely healing. I had to take myself out of the fire before I could even think of healing its burns. Without the burning, I could finally look at Emily and Sam with some sort of resigned acceptance.
But that didn’t make my decision any easier.
If I went to the wedding, it would be painful. That was just a statement of fact. Having to sit through a celebration of a love that had almost destroyed me? That would be no easy task, even if I was doing better.
But by not going, would I regret it later on, as the years passed and the pain had finally dulled? When things were finally healed between Emily and I, would I regret not being there for her?
If I did go, I could look back on this day with pride, proud that I had been the bigger person and taken the first true step to repairing what we once had. And hadn’t I promised myself? A promise to give myself a fresh start, to start anew.
Should I?
Could I?
I took a deep breath. I didn’t have much longer to contemplate my choices. It was noon, and the wedding would start in three hours. And I still needed to get ready; I couldn’t exactly show up as a giant wolf.
I wasn’t sure if I could drive that fast. But if I ran...
I could make it.
“Here goes nothing,” I said aloud, taking another breath to steel me. Dropping the invite on my unmade bed, I ran from room and out of the house. As I leapt off the porch, I burst into my wolf form, and ran into the woods, already knowing the exact path I would take towards Second Beach.
Here’s to a new you, Leah Clearwater, I thought as I ran.
