Chapter 1
It was a wet, messy day outside. Hazy, storm clouds hovered in the gray sky and suffocated the glorious sun, making it appear to be night early Monday morning. It was six o’clock when Eric Greenhouse pulled into the parking lot at a cheap motel. There was nothing else for him to do and nowhere else for him to go. He’d lost everything—his job, his home, his wife, even his dog. What was his purpose for living with everything stripped away from him? With the last few bucks in his wallet, he’d bought a low-cost pistol from a gun shop. Depression and anguish fell on his shoulders like a ton of bricks. He couldn’t take it anymore. He was completely empty and done.
Eric opened the glove compartment and pulled out the handgun. Holding the cold, black object in his hand felt foreign to him. He’d never been a violent man. He stuffed the gun in the gym bag on the passenger seat and zipped it. There was no way he could enter to check-in a private room with a weapon in his hand. That would scare the front desk person, and maybe even think he came to rob the place. But no, he was no criminal or felon. He was just a wounded man, his heart cut from out of him.
Life didn’t make sense anymore. Eric pulled out his wallet from his Levi jeans pocket, opened it, and slipped out the picture of his wife. His eyes watered, starting at her smiling teacher’s photo. A gorgeous dark brunette with sparkly, green eyes, she was absolutely beautiful—happy, healthy, and at the prime of her life; so, it seemed. But something was spreading inside her body that was a living nightmare.
Cancer.
It started in her pancreas, next to her stomach, and then her liver. As rain pitter-pattered the roof of his car, he squeezed his eyes shut and sobbed at the thought of the last day he held her hand by her deathbed. His weak sobs and moans mingled with the loud rolls of thunder. Even despite her failing health, Laurie’s death was totally unexpected. She’d fallen ill with a late diagnosis of stage-four cancer, a total shock to the both of them. They were married by a chaplain while she was still in the hospital as their dream wedding was far-fetched with numbered days.
Eric blinked his moist eyes. He glimpsed heavenward outside the windshield at the dark clouds above the skyscrapers in the distance. “Why did you take her from me?” His words slipped out his mouth in a soft, anger whisper. With the odds stacked against him, had God punished him? What had he done so wrong? He sniffled and studied Laurie’s picture again. Eric closed his eyes and kissed the picture. A tear rolled down his cheek.
Losing his wife was the last straw that brought him to the valley of decision he was in today. Sometimes it was too hard to see her, too hard to watch her die. But two things she never did was blame others or turn bitter at the world. She was always sweet, always loving and kind; and although it wasn’t easy, she played the cards she was dealt in life. Together they cherished every moment down memory lane, every laugh over something funny, every tender kiss and warm embrace until she passed away. She’d been gone for three months now, but Eric remembered their last day like it was yesterday.
“Eric, keep your eyes to the hills,” she’d faintly told him before she went to sleep. He didn’t have the slightest clue was she was talking about and neither did he care. He just cared about them, their short-lived marriage, and how much he dearly loved her and wished they could have a future together. Eric and Laurie were elementary teachers, sharing a love of working with kids. They’d met in college and became good friends before they turned to lovers. Their third-grade students were excited when they announced they were getting married.
Laurie was the smartest, loveliest, and funniest woman he ever knew. He was in love with her dorky, backward laugh. Usually, it was the guy with the sense of humor, but things were different within their relationship. His wife was the light of his life that made him smile, eased his anxiety, and brightened his mood. How could he live now with her gone?
Eric snapped back to the present. He glanced at his watch. It was 6:25. He figured he sat long enough and it was time to go inside now. His heart raced within his chest. He wasn’t entirely sure he could follow through with it, which is why he’d given himself four days to make up his mind. A vibrate throbbed against his hip. Someone text or called him.
Eric pulled out his flip phone and glanced at its glowing face.
MOM: Eric, answer your phone. I’m worried. Please, call me. Love you. ♥
His mother? What would she think? How could he hurt her like this? Sure, he was a grown man, but he was her son and had once been her baby. Eric closed his eyes. He clamped his phone and released a loud sigh. She’d get over it—she had to within time.
Eric exited his car with his suitcase and gym bag and marched through the drizzling rain toward the entrance doors of the small motel. When he entered, he pulled the hood of his jacket down and turned to look at the front desk lady. His heart stopped. There was something oddly familiar about her. She—she looked like his wife.
Laurie? With an inquisitive look, Eric cocked his head and slowly stepped up to the counter to check in his room. He blinked in disbelief and marveled at their resemblance, gazing upon her.
“Sir, can I help you?” the lady said with a slight frown.
Eric regained his senses. “Oh, yes, sorry. I have a reservation under Eric Greenhouse. I’m here to check into a room.”
The front desk lady smiled. “Of course, let me search it for you.” She looked at her computer screen and clicked her mouse, searching the reservations. “Ah, yes, I found it! One queen bed, right?”
“Yes, ma’am.” Eric nodded and felt a lump rise in his throat.
The front desk lady looked at him. “Could you sign the payment receipt, please?” She pushed the notice and an ink pen to him.
“Sure.” Eric signed the receipt and gave it back to her.
She smiled again. “Would you like to know the amenities?”
“Uh, no, thanks. I won’t be here long,” Eric said, glancing away.
The front desk lady frowned, sizing him up. “Is everything okay, sir?”
His heart pounded in his chest again. Why did she have to ask that? Maybe it was the distant look in his eyes from his wandering mind, or the low tone of his voice that had given him away. He didn’t want to lie, but what else was he supposed to do given his suicidal situation. He rubbed his eyes, shook his head, and forced a smile to cover his pain. “Oh, yeah, I’m fine. Just . . . tired, that’s all.”
Her features relaxed. “I know, sir. I understand what you mean. Hope you enjoy your stay.” She handed him his key. “Your room number two-forty. You can take the elevator up to the second floor. If you want, you can call the front desk if you need anything, okay?” She grinned again.
“Okay, thanks.” Eric walked off and stepped into the side elevator. Standing inside, he looked upward to keep his composure, feeling the sadness rise to the surface again.
The doors slide and enclosed him, muffling his stifled sobs.
