Chapter 1
My name is Eriellie Smith, and I am fifteen years old. My father passed away from cancer a month ago. When people learn of my loss, they feel pity for me, but I don't want that. He had been sick for two years, and I knew he was going to die soon since he never got better—instead, the days he lived, the worse he grew. I was aware that after he passed away, a lot would change, including moving from Rockford, Illinois, to San Diego, California.
Although I'm not attached to my hometown, I'm also not at all ready to move. I'm not interested in things changing. Eight months ago, my mom was offered a nursing position at the UC San Diego Medical Center in San Diego, California. Because of my father's condition, she was unable to accept the position and chose to let it pass. She called the UC San Diego Medical Center administrators after my father passed away to see if the position was still open, and it was.
She thought that having a fresh start in San Diego would be a better way for us to live. Our two-bedroom, two-bathroom apartment is located in the Millbrook Townhomes complex. My father was the one who usually brought money home, and I won't claim that we had the best life or that we were wealthy; We have been struggling for awhile it just got worse with his illness. My mother had to apply for three jobs once he become ill, in addition to looking after the house and my father. My father's illness has forced my mother to take on more responsibilities than just cooking and cleaning, something she isn't used to.
My mom is a really pretty woman, but she worked three jobs, so her face started to droop from exhaustion. Under her chocolate brown eyes, is so dark I can hardly recognize what I once thought were the prettiest eyes to exist. I have witnessed the life being drained from both of my parents over the past two years.
When my father was well, she used to laugh and smile more. With my father’s illness all she did was work, clean, cook, and sleep. That was all. In the last two years, I felt as though I had lost both of my parents, and my mother was not much better off when my father passed away.
She hasn't had much time to herself since my father's illness. In addition to packing and transferring everything from my old school to the new one I'll be attending when we move, she also organized the funeral that we went to 2 weeks ago and looking for an apartment for us to live in that would be significantly more expensive than our current home because of California's high cost of living. She is grieving over my father's passing, and I've watched her cry every night before she goes to sleep. I'm trying to be strong for her so she doesn't feel any worse than she already does.
In order to help with the expensive moving process, I have applied for a job at a fast food restaurant. Although I don’t get payed much I hope it’s enough to help my mom more, it pains me to see her so stressed and hurt. Since we are leaving in two days, I'm helping her pack. After we finish, I'm going to take a break and visit my favorite spot in Rockford, Illinois. Rock River is the spot I'll miss the most when we move; maybe, there will be a place that is comparable to Rock River. I occasionally go there to sit in peace and reflect, and other times I bring books to help me relax more. I need to ask my mother if I can go ahead. I usually tell my mother that I’ll bring my phone before I go anywhere because I know she will feel safer if I go with my phone.
"Mom, is it okay if I go to Rock River? I'll bring my phone." When I said this I patted my pocket making sure I had my phone there.
"Yes, honey, you can go. I'll call you for dinner in about an hour, be careful. I love you!” She said. She hasn't been as enthusiastic lately, so I was more than happy to hear a smile in her voice.
Since it was 38 degrees outside in the middle of January, I grabbed my coat as I was leaving. I noticed deer running in a group of three while I was making my way to the river. It reminded me of my family and I when we were together, that deer family is lucky, they still have their father. I would do anything to get my family back to the way it was, I miss my dad, even though I don’t show it much. The memory was bitter sweet since my father was no longer here. When I arrived at the river, I took a long deep breath feeling the coldness in my lungs. When I let go of the breath, the steam that emerged from my body looked like a puff of smoke since it was so hot compared to the cool air. Since this is the final time I will be visiting this place for some time, I took a seat on the rocks and enjoyed my surroundings. I would truly miss this place; I enjoyed feeling the nice river wind and seeing the currents create small waves. Observing the surrounding nature and the birds that were singing while the fish sprang excitedly from their beautiful riverside home. This is the place I would have to let go of for my mother’s happiness and I’m ready to give it up.
I felt the vibration of my phone as it rang to tell me that my mom was calling, I was surprised that the hour was up so fast, I picked up the phone and answered with an
“I’m on my way” she replied by saying
“hurry” and I got up and dusted off the rocks that stuck to my pants. The walk back wasn’t as peaceful as the walk to the River, because I knew when I got home I would be reminded of all the losses that happened recently. When I opened the door a wave of seasonings and different foods hit me, my mom was cooking something good. This surprised me because we have been eating frozen food and pizza since my dad died, because she was too busy to cook real food. I came into the kitchen and saw Mac & cheese, chicken, mashed potatoes, and corn on the cob, and if my nose is correct I smell corn bread in the oven.
“Come and sit down Ellie, I’ll make your plate!” My mom said in a happy voice.
“Mom?” I asked, surprised that she was still in a good mood.
“Yes, Sweetie!” She said in the same happy voice she used before.
“What’s the occasion, why are you so happy?” I looked at her with a confused face. I hope I didn’t offend her. She looked at me with a genuine smile.
"Ellie, ever since your father passed away, this place has been depressing...” She hesitated, not letting the thought go, and I could tell she was in a lot of pain to say this out loud. She inhaled deeply, her lips quivering, then exhaled before resuming her speech. "Don't worry about me; I want to live my life and be happy again. More importantly, I want you to enjoy the life you deserve. I just needed some time to process the last two years. I'm good. Come and eat with me; I made something better than frozen food and pizza.” She said a with a laugh.
She spoke in the most collected and comforting voice she had before everything went wrong. This was the mother I missed, the mother who brought me joy. I gave her a wide smile after she said that, then I entered our small kitchen and took a seat at our wooden table. When she prepared the plates, I was reminded of the old days when Mom cooked for my dad and I. He would make jokes about how slowly she was moving, saying things like
"Monica, I’m starving, hurry please. I feel like I’m to going die.” Usually, I would just laugh or say something along his lines. I’m really going to miss dad, but being sad isn’t what he would want me to do, he would probably tell me something like
“Don’t be sad for me baby girl, you just keep smiling that pretty smile of yours and everything will be alright.” I smiled at the thought of him saying that. I studied our kitchen, taking in every aspect. The black stove with food stains, the granite countertops, our ancient black fridge, the brownish-black wood cabinets, and the vinyl floors. I have spent most of my life eating in this kitchen, it will be a big change to eat in a different kitchen.
After our meal, my mother and I parted ways; I went to my room and she most likely had a bath. Among the many boxes, books, and clothes scattered over my room was one of my favorite books, Stephanie Meyer's Midnight Sun. Although I love the Twilight book series, Midnight Sun drew my attention the most. I love that it is told from Edward's point of view and that it fully presents his side of the story. I took another look at the book and picked it up. I read till I fell asleep, which was not long after. The following morning, I awoke with hazy eyes. With the sun almost blinding me. I got out of bed, cleaned my face, and brushed my teeth. I finished getting ready for the day, and walked down the stairs to see my mom preparing pancakes and eggs. Greeting her with a good morning, I began preparing the strawberry jelly for the pancakes. I heard my mother saying something as I sat down and began to daydream, but I wasn't entirely sure what she was saying.
"Ellie!" Her voice became harsher and louder as she spoke.
"Yes, mom? I’m sorry.” I felt hot in my cheeks, noting that I blushed a light pink on my caramel skin tone when I uttered this in a more embarrassed tone.
“Did you sleep well last night? You went to sleep fairly quickly, after my bath I went up to check on you and you were snoring so loudly I had to close your door.” She said in a more calm tone than she used before.
“Oh, I don’t remember falling asleep. All I remember was reading Midnight Sun and then the next thing I know the sun is trying to blind me.” I said with a little laugh at the end. She laughed then finished making the plates.
My mother and I started working right away after breakfast; we cleaned and packed until everything was finished. We moved all of the boxes in the U-haul after taking a brief rest. We then said bye to all of our neighbors after the house was empty, then traveled an hour to my aunt's place to spend the night there.
