God’s Money

SHILOH

“It’s called puff puff pass Caidence, not puff puff stop for an hour! Pass the damn shit so I can start to decompress over here!”

Caidence and I decided we would take a little smoke break in our hut “The Smoke Shack”. Its just a shed in my backyard with an old itchy flower covered brown couch (like the ones your grandma had back in the 70’s) up against one wall. A torn pleather recliner that stayed reclined because the thing was a peace of shit, in the corner and a scratched up coffee table in the middle with an ash tray, and my joint rolling tray that had rolling papers, a grinder, joint tips and some cheap brickweed on it. It smelled God awful in the smoke shack and had who knows how many critters hidden beneath the old rickety floors. In all Honesty though, it was our little haven. It’s where we escaped from reality and just enjoyed the moment.

“Yeah, whatever. You need it more than me bitch. Im’a go take a nap and when i get back, you need to lose the fuckin’ attitude.”

She must of had a bad day like me. She is usually the bubbly one that says “crap” when she stubs a toe. I mean, who even does that?!

As I sit back on the old lady couch taking my hit I realize what a shit couple of days I have actually had.

I had an extremely long shift at the mom and pop diner I work at “JohnMarries” (The owners couldn’t be anymore original huh?) I had to do a double where a local group of college guys came in dressed in their football jackets looking like your typical douchebags grabbin’ my ass and making crude comments. (Cue the eye roll!) My mom stole most of my last pay check to buy whatever the hell she thought she needed and my little two door black honda broke down. The thing was already a lemon but now its a broke lemon.

There really is only one option at this point, smoke some weed! I spent the little bit I had left on this dime bag so I’m gonna enjoy it even if Caidence had to join in. Maybe she had a bad week too, hell I don’t know. I got enough shit to worry about as it is.

Our friendship started at only six year’s old. Jackson was bullying Caidence at the playground. Me, being the loud and outspoken child I was, had enough of watching this asshole tourment all the girls on the playground. I walked right up to him and pushed him so hard he nearly rolled over the brown wood chips and into Mrs. Henderson. Yeah, I got in trouble but it was worth it! He should of seen it coming! The little shit wouldn’t leave the girl’s alone. It was about time us girls came out on top, laughing while he cried snottin’ everywhere! When I looked at Caidence in her little pink glitter dress laughing so hard her pigtails were bouncing and tears were coming out of her eye’s, I knew right then and there that we, the unlikely pair, would be friends for life. Quiet Caidence and Loud Shiloh against the world!

As we got older we learned more and more about our differences. Caidence was the complete opposite of Me. She was soft spoken, Shy, attended church every Sunday and hardly ever cussed. Caidence was your typical girl, loved starbucks, any pastel color, loved clothes and purses. Whereas I didn’t give a fuck about any of that. Hell I couldn’t afford to give a damn about any of that. I was loud. Angry at the world for what I had to go through on the daily. If I have an opinion you was gonna know about it! I lived with my mom and whatever flavor of the week my mom decided to let crash there. My mom was broke majority of the time and when she did have money it lasted not even a full day. I didn’t really know how my mom made money. I don’t think my mom has ever had a job at all. Which led to me having to wear what little I did have over and over again. If it was clean it was getting worn and I didn’t care who had what to say about it. Its insane that Caidence is even my friend because I’m from the “wrong side of the tracks” as my mom would say. Mom would always warn me about people that had money. “Shiloh, they don’t care about people like us. They only care about what they can gain from you.” Caidence was different though. She comes from money and her parents have no clue that she even hangs out with me anymore. With that said Caidence couldn’t give two shits about where I come from. She is just a good friend like that. You wouldn’t know she actually comes from money unless you met her folk’s which I unfortunately have..

Seven years ago, I had the grand job of taking some medication to Caidence’s house because she had the flu and her parents were too busy that they couldn’t even make sure that their daughter was still breathing up there in her room. Looking back now I would of just left the bag of medicine in the mailbox or something but being the good friend I am, I had the dumb idea of actually checking in on her.

Caidence sounded like shit on the phone telling me that she ran out of cold and flu meds.

I walk right in just like Caidence told me to. I don’t think I could of cringed anymore than I had done when I walked past Caidence’s parents room. “YES CARL, FUCK ME HARDER!” No one should have to hear two 50 something year olds going at it like that. Especially a teenager! At that point I couldn’t get to Caidence’s room fast enough. Damn near running to get away from the onslaught my ears just had to put up with. I had to run up what seemed like two hundred stairs before bustin’ up in Caidence’s room. Bag still swinging when I slammed the door shut, wheezing and panting from over exerting my lungs. I looked around and noticed just how fancy of a life she lived. She had a king size Gemini champagne leather playform bed, mirrored glass bedside tables that you could see a face pore in, with beautiful flowers on top, baby pink duvet, with a white fur throw blanket six king size pillows, six throw pillows, white fur rug at the end of the bed, her dresser was the same make as her bedside tables, her floors were white marble, she had three gigantic windows on one wall letting in plenty of sunlight and she had her own bathroom! My mouth is on the floor as I took it all in. The room was nice and all but it didnt look like a room for a teenager. It looked like her parents planned that entire room out. There wasn’t even a picture on the dresser! At least it smelled like Caidence, Cherry blossom. That’s all she wore in high school.

Caidence gave me a “I really am sorry” look but all I can focus on is how bad Caidence looks. Pale, coughing, bags under her eyes, rosy cheeks, covers up to her ears. Caidence is my only family in my eyes and always has been so seeing her like that hit hard. I can protect her from physical threats but when its internal, I get worried. If you couldn’t tell, I prefer to have control in all things.

“Damn Caidence, you look like complete shit!” All I got back was a mumbled “bitch.”

I remember my grandma (Lord rest her soul) would tell me when I was sick that a cold rag on my forehead would help lower a fever. So I did just that for her. I walked to the bathroom and wet a rag that was neatly folded on the shelf. Her bathroom was just as fancy with walk in shower that had glass doors, all her faucets were no lie, made of gold! She had a toilet with buttons instead of a handle. The same marbled white floor. With a white fur floor mat. Everything screamed money but honestly looked depressing. I felt bad for my friend which is crazy to say but what kind of childhood could she of had if she was fed with golden utensils?

“This should make your fever go down a little. I got you some cold and flu medication, and a ginger ale. Do you know how much this shit cost these days?! My mom didn’t have the money so I had to get the five finger discount!”

“I will pay you back Shiloh, sorry I’m just real desperate right now.”

“Don’t worry about it, i gotchu, Just don’t ask for anything on Christmas.” We both start giggling but Mid-laugh Caidence starts hackin’ a lung.

“Take this shit so you can get some rest. I need my smoking partner back. You know how lonely it gets at the house. No one should be forced to smoke alone!”

I have been smoking since I was 14, perks of a shitty childhood.

“Yeah, yeah hand it over.”

Caidence takes the medication as I put her favorite show on “Gossip Girl” and trade her bulky duvet for a throw cover to lower her fever.

I decided it’s best to let her sleep and slowly sneak out when I hear her snoring. As I’m tiptoeing backward I almost bump right into a woman that highly resembles my friend.

“Oh shit my bad!”

“Watch were your going! You just stepped on my Louis Vuitton’s!” Y’all are just getting to know me but you should expect what comes next.. things are about to get loud.

I walked down the stairs knowing this pompatic woman would be stomping behind my every step.

“Where do you think your going? You little shit? You will be paying for these shoes!”

I had never officially met this woman, but based off the resemblance I figured this was Caidence’s mom.

“You Julie?” I already didn’t like her just because of what Caidence had told me about her mom. Pretty much paid for Caidence’s love. Never spent anytime with her. Only wanted her around when it was beneficial. I had a lot to say to that woman and one thing I was not going to do was keep quiet.

“Excuse me?!” Julie’s face was as red as a tomato from someone daring to talk to her like that.

“I said, ARE YOU JULIE?” I made sure i said it real slow and with all the attitude my little 5’4 body could manage. Julie just stood there gapping like a fish so I continued, “I have a couple things to say to you. You ma’am are a piece of shit! You think that money is the end all but in actuality in the end you will have no one and no money because you blew it all on worthless shit! You don’t care about how you make Caidence feel! You don’t even care about the fact that she is sick as a dog! If it wasnt for me her fever would be sky high! If i could tell you anything it’s that money may solve some problems but it won’t gain you love. Be real and actually get to know your daughter!”

By the time I was done I was panting and out of breath. I really need to hit the gym after this. My confidence soon dwindled with what Julie said next.

“Did the little poor girl gain confidence? Did she think that she would hurt my little feelings? I DON’T TAKE ADVICE FROM A WHORE’S DAUGHTER! I know your mom. I know exactly what she does for money. I know about all the drugs she spends it on. Thats the plus side of being important in such a small town. All i can say is that at least i will be happy for a time. You will forever be sad and pathetic. You will be just like your mother, Asking men to fuck you for money then snorting whatever you made within’ the hour. Leave my house before you spread your filth. Don’t come back around here. Caidence should know better than to hang out with the likes of you!”

Julie walks away with a bounce in her step as if she just put me in my place leaving me crying in her wake. What she really did was royally piss me off! “I want to knock that bitches screws loose so fucking bad.” I mumble then continue out the door knowing that I’m already on thin ice with the police. One more offence and I am off to juvie. I do my little breathing exercises that my therapist taught me and decide I won’t be going back to Caidence’s because that old bitch aint worth it.