Chapter One
The soft hum of the store’s overhead speakers filled the air, playing a mellow indie track I’d chosen for the evening. It was almost closing time at Strings of Harmony, the small music shop my brother Ben and his wife, Claire, owned. I leaned against the counter, idly strumming a chord on the acoustic guitar I’d been tuning. The store was quiet, save for the occasional shuffle of sheet music or the faint creak of the wooden floorboards. I liked it this way—calm, predictable, and far removed from the chaos of my thoughts.
The bell above the door jingled, and Ben walked in, his keys jangling in one hand and a takeout coffee in the other. He looked every bit the older brother—reliable, slightly overbearing, and perpetually in motion.
“Hey, Lila,” he said, setting the coffee on the counter. “Are you ready to close up? Claire’s already at the house setting up for the BBQ.”
I glanced at the clock on the wall. It was 7:45 PM. “Yeah, just about. I’ll finish up here and lock the door.”
Ben nodded, but instead of heading out, he lingered, tapping his fingers on the counter. I raised an eyebrow. “What?”
“You’re coming to the BBQ, right?” he asked, his tone casual but his eyes searching.
I sighed, setting the guitar back on its stand. “I don’t know, Ben. I’m kind of tired. It’s been a long week.”
Ben frowned at me. “Come on, Lila. You can’t bail.”
“It’s not like I’m bailing,” I said, crossing my arms. “I’m just… not in the mood for a company.”
Ben leaned against the counter, his expression softening. “Jordan’s back for a break from tour. He’ll be there tonight.”
My stomach did a small flip, but I kept my face neutral. “So? He’s your friend, not mine.”
Ben gave me a puzzled look. “Lila, Jordan’s like family. You know that. And besides, it’s been years since he’s been around. Don’t you think it’s time to catch up?”
I turned away, busying myself with straightening a stack of sheet music. “There’s nothing to catch up on. He’s a rockstar now, Ben. I’m sure he’s got better things to do than reminisce with his best friend’s little sister.”
Ben sighed, running a hand through his hair. “Look, I’m not going to force you to come. But I think you’ll regret it if you don’t. Jordan’s been through a lot, and he’s trying to reconnect with people. You were important to him once too, you know.”
I didn’t respond. I couldn’t. My mind was already drifting back to a night I’d tried so hard to forget—the night of the high school talent show, it had been just six months since Ben and I’s parents had passed. It was meant to be a new beginning for me, but it just ended up creating a shell for me to hide in.
It was six years beforehand, when I was 16, the memory though, was as vivid as if it had happened yesterday. I’d been a junior, awkward and unsure of myself, with a love for music that was both my escape and my greatest vulnerability. Until then, I’d kept myself and my music hidden. I’d spent weeks preparing for the talent show, practicing my guitar until my fingers were raw. I’d chosen a song I’d written myself, a quiet, heartfelt piece that felt like baring my soul to the world.
But the popular kids—the ones who ruled the school with their smirks and their cruelty—had other plans. They’d tampered with my guitar, loosening the strings so that it was hopelessly out of tune. They’d also turned the microphone up to an ear-splitting volume, so that when I tried to sing, the feedback screeched through the auditorium, sending the audience recoiling in their seats.
I’d frozen, my face burning with humiliation as laughter erupted around me. I’d fled the stage, my guitar clutched to my chest, tears streaming down my face. I’d run out into the cool night air, my heart pounding, desperate to escape.
That’s when Jordan found me.
I sat on the steps outside the auditorium, my arms wrapped around my knees. I didn’t even realize anyone was there until I heard him speak.
“Hey,” he’d said softly, his voice cutting through the haze of my panic. “You okay? Ben is just getting the car.”
I’d shaken my head, unable to speak. He sat down beside me and looked down at the untuned guitar. He scowled and then hesitated for a moment, before he wrapped an arm around my shoulders, pulling me into a hug. It was warm and solid, and for a moment, I’d felt safe.
We’d sat there in silence, the night air cool around us. I leaned into him, my tears slowing as I listened to the steady rhythm of his breathing. And then, just for a moment, I thought he might kiss me. His face had been so close to mine, his eyes searching mine with an intensity that made my heart race. I’d forgotten all about the humiliation, the way I’d felt on the stage. Because my brother’s best friend was looking at me like I was something precious.
But then Ben had pulled up in the car, and the moment had shattered. Jordan had pulled away, his usual easy grin slipping back into place. “Come on, kiddo,” he’d said, standing and offering me a hand. “Let’s get you home.”
I’d taken his hand, but the warmth of the moment was gone, replaced by a hollow ache that had stayed with me ever since. That word—kiddo—had cut through me like a knife. It made me feel small, insignificant, like a child. Sure, he was 20 and I 16, but I was hardly a baby. Had I imagined the almost-kiss? Had it all been in my head?
_____
“Earth to Lila!” Ben exclaimed.
“Ugh, fine I will come to the BBQ.”
Ben grinned. “Good. It’ll be good for him to see people he knows and trusts. Like I said, he’s been through a lot. We’ll go in ten okay?”
I nodded and turned back to the guitars. What could Jordan have been through? His life had been played out through the media since he’d made it big four years prior. He’d taken the world by storm, quickly smashing records and climbing the charts.
I had always watched from afar, not that I let anyone know that. But it was a way to let my once childhood crush slowly fizzle out.
There’s nothing like watching the boy you grew up idolising with other women on his arm, lots of women, famous women, beautiful women.
Once I realized how insignificant an almost kiss, if that was what it had been, was to Jordan. I was able to move on.
I put the guitars away and went up to the staff room to get my bag. Ben was downstairs, and I could slip out through the fire escape and go home without him even noticing. The problem with that though, was that he knew where I lived.
I walked back down to the shop floor, Ben was waiting by the door.
“Ready to go?”
“Sure.” I replied, feeling anything but.
The drive to Ben and Claires was short, it didn’t take long to get anywhere in Harbor Springs. Pop. 20,000 on a good day. We’d never meant to stay here. Growing up all Ben and I talked about was getting out into the big wide world. Then our parents had died in a car accident at the hands of a drunk driver. Overnight our world changed, Ben’s plans changed. He was only 20, he dropped out of college, for me.
He didn’t return to college after I graduated, by then he’d already bought the music store and met Claire. He told me he was happy in Harbor Springs, and that maybe he understood why our parents had brought us up there.
I’d stayed after graduation, choosing to study a bachelor of music from home while I worked part time at the store. Now I was comfortable here, content almost.
It was funny how things had turned out.
Ben’s car pulled into his driveway. I could smell the burgers on the grill immediately, which spiked my hunger. I’d only eaten a banana choc chip muffin for lunch, most because I’d been too caught up writing my newest song.
He turned the car off and my stomach growled.
“Hungry? Good thing you decided to come.” Ben teased as he turned the car off and took the keys out of the ignition.
We walked up the path and around the back of the house. Claire was at the BBQ and a couple of their other friends were sitting at the picnic table drinking wine and laughing. Jordan was nowhere to be seen.
“Hey Claire.” I murmured while walking up to the grill. I gave my very pregnant Sister in law a hug. “Oh Lila, I am so glad you came.”
She turned her attention to her husband, my brother and smiled wistfully. He took the spatula from her hands and kissed her softly.
“Go sit down my love.”
Claire nodded and walked over to the table. I looked at Ben and pointed inside.
“I just need to use the bathroom.” I murmured.
“All good, bring me a beer on your way back out.”
I walked inside, expecting to be alone. Instead, I walked right into the chest of Jordan Cole. He was taller than I remembered, or maybe just more broad. He had a pair of black jeans, and a black t-shirt on and his tattoos painted the skin on both of his arms.
I looked up at his face, his green eyes were on mine, his hair, longer and shaggier than I remembered, flopped effortlessly across his forehead. He smiled, just slightly and raised an eyebrow.
“Lila Bennett.” He crooned, my name dripping from his mouth like diamonds. He’d clearly learned a thing or two about charm since he’d been on the road. I was not about to fall for it though, I’d seen too much to step into that trap.
“Jordan.” I replied, I stepped around him and walked down to the bathroom, ignoring the way my heart was beating against with a hard thud.
Don’t be that girl I thought to myself as I shut and locked the door. Don’t let yourself get caught up in a stupid crush again.
On my way back out I grabbed Ben a beer and rested it on the edge of the bbq. He and Jordan were talking, and I wanted to bypass a three way conversation. I walked to the table and sat opposite of Claire. Their friend went to fill a wine glass for me, but Claire shook her head.
“Lila doesn’t drink.”
I swallowed hard, tonight that was going to have to change if I was going to get through it without looking like an idiot.
“Actually, I might just have one.” I whispered.
Claire whooped and her friend poured me the glass. I took a sip of the liquid, which was somehow dry and sweet. Claire was right, after my parents had died I’d lost all interest in the idea of partying, in fact I could count on one hand the amount of alcoholic beverages I’d had in my lifetime. Five.
The conversation continued and I drank my wine slowly. Ben and Jordan brought the food over and everyone dug in. The conversation flowed, though I mostly just listened. As it grew darker and darker, the drinks also flowed. I’d had three glasses of wine when Ben stood up and gave a speech about old friends and new beginnings.
I felt eyes on me as Ben spoke, burning into my skin from across the table. I looked at Jordan, only to find him staring back at me.
It was intense, and yet I didn’t know why. I looked away, forcing myself to focus on my brother who was nearing the end of his speech, talking about Claire and their baby and how happy he was. We all clapped and then Claire turned the music on her phone, it played through the bluetooth speakers.
Jordan finally spoke, he’d been quiet since they’d joined the table with the food.
“Hey Claire, got anything by Mystic Muse on your playlist?”
I felt my body freeze, Jordan had heard of Mystic Muse?
“Yeah of course I do, I need to support the local talent!” Claire picked up her phone and began scrolling. I picked up my wine and finished the rest of it.
“But who is the local talent?” Jordan exclaimed “How has no one worked out who it is yet.” I felt Jordan’s eyes on me again and for a moment I thought he knew. Instead he spoke again.
“On her page she says she’s 22. So she would have gone to school with you. Any ideas?”
I shrugged, the wine coursing through my system giving me enough courage to pull off the lie of a lifetime.
“Well, considering I have no idea who you are talking about, no. I do not have any ideas.”
Jordan scoffed and shook his head.
“You haven’t heard Mystic Muse?”
I shrugged and picked up the nearest wine bottle, filling my glass again. “No, I haven’t.”
“Easy fix!” Claire exclaimed. The song ended abruptly, and another song began playing. I balled my hands into fist to stop myself from tapping to the music, giving myself away. Then she sang, Mystic Muse, her voice haunted by a past that she’d used as an excuse to stay hidden. I wanted to run from the table, all the way home and climb into bed and hide. I felt naked in front of everyone, all my secrets laid bare.
It was too much, listening to her. Because I was listening to myself.
I was her.
I was Mystic muse.
