Notes to myself

Sometimes I wish I was a flower, something like a red rose, one of those everyone seems to like and love, Why you say?. I don't know maybe because everyone seems to choose them. I know it sounds pretentious but 'common don't all humans want to be appreciated huh?...

Truth is.. I feel lonely most of the time, it's sad to see many people having their lovely dovely life with their partners and I... I am still searching.

This constant feeling of needing to be love maybe comes to me because I actually never experienced it. Of course I have family, and they love me but it's not the same kind of love. I mean a romantic feeling, you know those who people say you feel butterflies about.... It must be so nice to feel it... Don't you think?

I'm not sure... Anyways.. I'm always curious about what love can truly be.

See, I'm someone that likes to daydream a lot, since I was a child I've been exposed to a type of love so unique that's very difficult to find nowadays. The Disney movies type, one that's for life, a truly happy ever after, one partner, and one lover...

Have you seen those Disney movies where the prince finds his princess and they live happy ever after..? Well that might be my case of daydreaming. I always dreamt about me being a girl that someone fell for like in Disney movies.. In a very romantic way. In those Disney movies the man seems so in love with the girl, like they truly want each other and I know is ridiculous to think about a prince or a fairy tale in real life world but maybe just maybe having someone to truly like you. Don't you want it? Because I do. I want to be loved, I want to have my first kiss, to be held in strong arms, to hear someone say "I love you" in a whisper...

I'm laughing at myself right now, this sounds so lame.. Anyways.. I guess having this exposure since young childhood to that love made me become such a romantic person...

Does anyone still likes romantic people tho?

I'm so cheesy but I just... I want to be someone's special person. It sucks to know those movies are just fictional, an ilusion and real love is so much more complex.. nowadays love is toxic and people cheat on each other all the time. Why do they do that?

There's not anymore that sparkle on the couples eyes? That loved face...

Nowadays.. Loving is a challenge.

I want to be loved but how could I in this new world view of love?... I'm so lonely and sad, and all I hope is to have my own happy ever after.

Where are you my prince? Why can't I find you?..