What is your opinion?
Cataclysmically Entertaining
"Cult appeal that leaves you asking for more I couldn't help but question myself , "What would I do?" The writer does an excellent job of getting a reader's favorable reception of the assassin protagonist Savvy and Cunning The writer illustration of the blood bath party was thrilling and sympathetic The tension between him and his contemporary was energetic and well detailed Reading the mains character acceptance as the villain was unforeseen His appetite to test his influence was chilling"
Intriguing!
"This story is something! The twists in it makes it more and more interesting with every next line. Using first person, makes me feel like I'm sitting in front of the main character and listening to his story; it helps get into the story. It's a great piece of writing, and would be even better if you'd involve some dialogue. I'd like to see more of this story, especially the meeting with President."
Innovative!
"The writing style of this story is highly innovative! It has the right amount of twists in the story to keep you on the edge of your seat. The author's use of words helps paint a picture that puts you right in the story. After reading "Influence" I now look at everyone with a bit of caution..... Please do not touch me!"
A nice twist
"This is a nice twist in the fast times of comic book stories. Would be great to read more in this. You have opened a whole new world and the outcome is endless. Looking forward to what happens next."
Great twist to Super Powers
"A very twisted look at what this type of power can do to a person. Great short and start to what could be a much bigger story. Scary thing is I think many people could relate to the main character."
Awesome First Draft
"I really enjoyed this story - the plot was nicely paced in its build up and it was easy for me to visualise what was going on. I think the ending in many ways was inevitable from the beginning but was still an awesome way to finish off the story. That being said, it is very obviously a first draft. The narrator rambles a little, particularly in the opening paragraphs and it almost felt like a person talking to themselves rather than to an audience. The style is very rigidly stuck to which, whilst perfectly acceptable, does give off the impression that the writer himself isn't entirely sure where the story is going - but I imagine things like that would be sorted in later drafts. It has been pointed out in previous reviews that there is very little in terms of character development for other characters than the narrator and that this might be something that needs working on. I agree that a little work is needed, but I think the minor characters are pitched just right given that the story is centred around a person who cannot have a meaningful relationship with anyone because he would end up influencing them. I think someone who has had to deal with that all their life is unlikely to put much thought into the people around them and, given that the story is very much written from the main characters' POV, the lack of any serious description of other characters is actually very fitting for the story being told. That being said, I think this aspect of the main character's personality could be played on a little more than it is currently. I also think the references to superheroes got a bit much, although the anonymity of the main character was a particularly nice touch. All in all, not a bad story. It has a way to go but, for a first draft, I'd be very happy with that."
Comments
"I thought this story was interesting, a surprise like biting into a croissant and getting chocolate. The beginning was a little slow for me and the end was a little weak for what the story was building up towards. Overall I enjoyed it."
Consider me influenced!
"Not what I was expecting, and that is perfect! I had to read the ending part over again, now I am curious just how far things will go now. It is, of course, open to interpretation but now I'm dying for more!"
Great First Draft in the Style of Steven King
"As the other reviews suggest, this is a very interesting concept--a lot like King's The Dead Zone ins some respects. I like how the narrator opens by suggesting that powers aren't all they're cracked up to be, and then divulges his tale--and its inevitable dark conclusion. In essence, the bones of the story are great and serve the concept well. I think the story suffers a bit in execution, though. The opening of the story sounds a bit rambly and too much like an essay or a blog post; I didn't get the sense that the narrator was really talking to us or was really part of the story. It felt more like a prologue by a third person rather than the actual character. The story also lacks development with other characters, dialogue, and pacing that would make it develop more meaningfully (at this point, anyway). There are also grammatical issues that sometimes grind the work to a halt, often with missing commas, such as: "That was really weird I thought." This should be "That was really weird, I thought." These are small details, but they add up to a style that doesn't sell the piece in a way that convinces me. I only say this because the story itself is great, but only the style is lacking. However, the point of posting stories on Inkitt is to share drafts and works-in-progress, so I know this story will grow stronger with each draft, and from this promising beginning, is well on its way. Keep working on it and examine how King crafts his narrative voices: each one is unique and betrays the individual quirks, biases. ,and failings of the teller. Make your narrator more distinct and the story will sell itself. Good luck."
influence
"The premise of the story is interesting - a person with the uncanny ability to influence others (though this is never fully explained). The various accounts cited as to how this occurs were had entertainment value. The thing I noticed lacking more than anything else was - dialogue! None. Nada. Zip. If this were simply the prologue to the story (sans detailed accounts) then it might work as just first person narrative. A few minor grammar issues (your should be you're early in the story), but mostly on target. Overall a decent story that could be livened up with at least a few lines of snappy dialogue."
