Chapter 1 - Being Young
When first born my senses gently awaken. I slowly interpret my outside world. I learn to recognize shapes and forms. Parents, friends and schools help teach me what to do.
Still, I am a child of the dark. I was created in the hallowed void. I grew after creation in blackness until the time was ripe. I was pushed ungently out of the dark life I knew into the multicolor rainbow of light.
The midnight void is my multi universe home. The photons that arrive each day expose my hidden form. I feel lonely and lost in the light transparency. I desperately seek a way forward that puts me back with my ancient belonging.
The way forward is unknown. This life is one where I see other shapes and forms. I wonder who or what I can trust. I seek a gentle knowing light that has a kinship with my dark picturesque void home. This is the start of my journey.
While this may sound like a dark and dreary situation, this awakening is a wonderful process. In the beginning I did not even realize this was happening. Thoughts are not there one moment. The next flickering of a second later ideas forms inside me. They feel bright and beautiful.
An idea comes to me that anything is possible. I have so many questions. My expectation is that my parents know how to direct me. I ask questions of them. But depending on your parents, the answers may be deeply unsatisfactory. You see most parents are fascinated by adult toys. They race around Monday through Friday to work to make money to buy these adult toys.
They play with these toys until one day they grow bored. What do they do? They move on to the next new adult toy. This means they need to work more hours to make more money. This is the adults never ending life cycle. They live like a hamster on a treadmill buying toys to nowhere.
It is not their fault, really. They live in the material world. This keeps their minds occupied with half-truths. It keeps them from awakening. This is why these adults cannot help kids like me on my journey. This gets teenagers like me stuck in a quagmire with no way out. We abandon our thoughts of the (im)possible dream.
My mom is different. She says to me, “You have a gift. Nature reveals it. Do you think you were given this gift for no good reason?”
I have an idea what she is talking about. You see I talk to trees, and they talk back. I know this is my gift, but I don’t see its purpose. To get my mom off my case, I give her another issue. I probably should have thought about this thoroughly before I say it, but I don’t. I just blurt it out. “You are not getting the point mom.” I reply. “I see this boy.”
My mom purposefully stops. First, she stares at me for a long moment. Then, she begins to look around the kitchen, where we are situated. She looks up at the ceiling scanning the volume of empty space. Next, she looks down all about and around the floor. Then, she starts opening and closing cupboards. “Where is this boy?” She asks looking at me puzzled.
I giggle. “Mom, he is not physically here. He is in my mind.” I point to my head. “I see him as clearly as I hear the bell outside in the square. But he does not look like us. But he is like us. How is this possible?”
Mom pauses her silly game to look at me. She lifts her eyebrow at me. She is teasing me.
I laugh. “Mom.”
She says, “The universe has plans. If we listen well and seek our path, the universe shines a light on where to follow. It sounds to me like the universe is telling you something.”
I shake my head no. “I do not get it. What is the universe telling me?”
Mom replies, “The only way you are going to figure that out is by finding this boy.”
I do not know how to do the finding. But I do want to know the answer. So, I ask the question. “How do you reckon I find this boy?”
With a grin on her face my mom replies, “Well, first of all you need to know that boys are a handful.”
“Mom!” I yelp.
Mom is grinning broadly. She is a big tease. “And, this boy you see. I think he is likely to pull your heart strings. I imagine you will be doing the same to his. That is how you can tell if he is the one for you.”
All kidding aside I get it. I take her conversation seriously, even though she is kind of pulling my leg. My mom knows things I do not know.
I ask her. “How will I know that he is the one?”
Mom responds. “If he watches out for you when he thinks you are not watching. If when you pull, he comes. Most importantly, if you two feel the same plan.”
I am ready to reply ‘What plan?’, when my mom raises her hand.
“No need to tell me the plan. No need to justify to me if you think he is right for you.”
