Dandelions and Memories
Charli
Mom loved it here.
She love it because here, the city couldn’t find us. No men in suits, just trees and birds and the lie of safety.
I exhale, forcing her memory away and twirl the dandelion between my fingers. The sun feels soft against my skin but it prickles as soon as the birds go silent. My heart starts to hammer in my chest and I lift my head to watch the sky.
They usually go quiet at the sound of gunshots. Even when they are too far away for my human ears. The grass beneath my feet and between my toes is warm. I could spend hours outside, but the sudden panic in my chest has me picking up the skirts of my dress to head inside.
Our house isn’t close to any neighbors and behind our backyard is a wood that eventually turns into a forest. We don’t mind the isolation much. We used to enjoy it a lot, actually.
Now it just makes me wonder when our bodies will be found six feet under. Valmont City isn’t exactly known for being safe. Not with the Mafia in the East Burough and the black market rumoured to be housed in South End.
Riverview Heights might be one of the few neighborhoods not directly tied to the dark crime in the city, but it is close enough to where we feel its shadow.
I’m walking toward the house when a ruffle of noises catches my attention and I frown as I near the back fence, gasping when I notice a bunny stuck between the post and the fence.
It chatters in panic when it notices my approach.
“Let me help you,” I whisper to it as I kneel beside it.
It jerks away from my touch and I sigh. The wood cuts into the skin around its neck and the sight of blood has me flinching. I should be used to the sight of blood by now, but it still makes my stomach queasy.
“It’s okay,” I try to calm him down, but it only attempts to scurry away.
I decide then to try and cause him as little pain as possible, and pull the fence away from the post as much as I can. It gives him just enough room to wiggle away and run back into the forest.
I wipe the blood that has gotten onto my hand on my dress and walk back to the house. My eyes widen when I catch sight of the clock on the wall.
Crapballs, I’m late for work. I run into my room to grab my shoes, but stop when I notice Jo’s phone on my bed.
I groan, she has asked me to drop it off to her when I go into work, but time has slipped by without my notice. I won’t have a chance now.
My stomach turns. I am going to have to ask Ali to do it and I am afraid of catching her in one of her moods. Though Jo is the youngest, she is able to handle Ali’s attitude better than I can. It’s probably because that is all Jo really knows. All Jo can rememebr is how Ali turned into a cold, distant person.
She became like our father to survive. To make sure we all survived.
Me? I remember the old Ali. The bright and happy Ali that used to sneak me candy and ice cream when mom had said no.
Mom.
The memory of her burns my heart, but I push the feeling back, refusing to dwell on it. I hate feeling like that. I hate feelings in general.
Mom’s loss was hardest on Ali and she bore the burden of practically raising us when it happened. Watching my sister disintegrate into someone I barely know is mind boggling, but we only have each other.
Ali deserves the entire world. She deserves all the happiness we can give her. It is her, though, that always pushes it away.
Regardless of the sour nerves in my stomach I find myself knocking on the bathroom door.
“Ali?” I try.
I can hear the water splash in the tub, along with her grunts. The tub squeaks as she moves in it, the sound making me frown. “Ali, what are you doing in there?”
I knock again.
“Fuck Char! Just give me a second!”
I flinch at her tone, biting my lip as I grimace. Yup, she is definitely in one of her moods. Silence follows, and I struggle to stay still. I bounce on the heels of my feet, wriggling my fingers. I blow out a steady stream of air until my patience wears too thin. “Ali?”
The door flies open and Ali stands there with a frown on her face and her lips in a scowl. Water droplets drip down her face and arms, her body clad in her puffy gray towel.
“What do you want?” She barks, crossing her arms on her chest.
Her dark eyes glare at me and I suddenly feel small and uneasy. I shrink back, wondering if I should just drop off the phone myself and take the reprimand at work.
“Char?” She snaps.
“Oh, nothing. It’s fine,” I mumble.
Her face turns red and she closes her eyes, inhaling slowly. She does that whenever she tries to calm herself down.
“Just tell me, Char. I promise you won’t make me any more mad than you already have,” She grits through a fake smile.
I huff and give in.
“Jo forgot her phone and asked me if I could drop it off. I said yes, but I’m running late because there was a bunny stuck in the fence in the backyard.”
I show her my blood stained hand and she only rolls her eyes.
“So can you please take it to her?” I plead with my hands interlocked in front of my chest.
She looks at me, deadpanned.
I look back at the clock in the hallway, “I have to leave — ten minutes ago!”
“Fine, I’ll take it to her,” She holds out her hand.
I look down at her hand and smile. “It’s on the table. I really have to go Ali.”
I turn from her, sprinting down the hall.
“Don’t forget your fucking shoes, Char,” She yells before slamming the door shut.
“Shoot!” I run back to my room, finding the shoes I had carelessly left on the floor.
I run back down the hall, stopping in front of the bathroom door again. I shift between my feet, wondering if I should knock again, but I come to the conclusion that it would only anger her more.
“Thanks Ali, you’re the best!” I yell instead.
I continue to run but overestimated the length of the hall and can’t stop myself in time when I reach the top of the stairs.
My legs disappear from beneath me and I tumble down the steps. The air leaves my lungs, my shoulder exploding in pain.
I hiss as I pick myself up, grabbing my keys from the countertop and try to move my shoulder. It moves fine but it hurt so bad.
“That’s gonna leave a bruise,” I throw my head back and make my way to my car.
