1. Memories
’Outside a car unknown to the neighbourhood was parked a little way down but in view of the house. Inside a stocky man sat silently with a very professional camera in hand snapping pictures every time someone came into view in the large picture window. Beside him on the seat sat a brown manila folder – open with a stack of papers and a Studio photo of Brianna in her burgundy and black Basque reclining on a gold edged chaise lounge. His mobile phone rang breaking the silence and he answered quickly
“Yes? … Yes I found her … and the kid. ..I will fax all the information I have gathered so far to you as soon as possible ... OK … thankyou”
Phone call over he turned his attention back to the window as Brianna appeared holding Summa. They were both laughing and Brianna was swinging her long curls round to cover Summa’s face. The stranger grunted and shifted in his seat as he started to feel an uncomfortable pressure in his trousers. He glanced down at the photo of Brianna in her underwear for the umpteenth time and took in her curves, large breasts and long hair. He murmured gently to himself as his bulge got tighter…
“You’re damn hot … for a fat girl Brianna Jefferson” then continued to snap away with his camera.’
….Brianna smiled as she watched Summa playing; this little girl had changed her whole life … for the better, she gave Brianna purpose and someone to love unconditionally. She picked up a few of the scattered toys and placed them in the toy box – time to go.
“Come on sweetie pie,” she laughed “You aren’t going to like Mummy but we are off for your vaccination”
Summa gurgled and pointed to her teddy, feeling somewhat guilty that she was about to take her precious daughter to be stabbed with a needle she picked up Teddy so he could come along for the ride too and hopefully console Summa in her moment of need. Luckily her daughter was a very happy baby who only really cried when there was something wrong (i.e. she was hungry – needed her nappy changing or was tired and wanted to sleep) so the journey to the surgery was full of smiles and baby talk.
Sat in the consulting room Brianna was tense, her stomach in knots, she hated this but her baby needed protection. Summa had cried for nearly a whole day after her last lot of jabs when she was a tiny new-born, and now at one year old she needed the Measles Mumps Rubella (MMR) vaccine. It didn’t help that Brianna was a bit of a wimp when it came to needles too which was not ideal when you are supposed to be consoling your daughter through her ordeal!
Dr Kalian smiled kindly and asked Brianna to distract Summa away from what she was doing. Teddy in hand Brianna waved him in the air and drew the attention of her sweet girl to her alone. Within seconds it was over and her poor baby cried and inside Brianna was hurting and crying with her… ’Cruel to be kind’ she sighed.
She settled Summa back into her car seat with a drink and Teddy, her crying reduced to sniffles. Brianna kissed her and stroked her head and a teeny smile broke through Summa’s tears as she looked up at her Mum with those so familiar stormy grey eyes. Brianna smiled back full of love for her little girl, and still a pang of regret for her father’s behaviour. At first she had thought of him every waking moment – Darryl was in her dreams, her nightmares and her thoughts, but time was a healer they say and now she was only reminded of him when she looked at Summa
’Come on Brie – that’s every moment of the day and you know it’ her inner voice chided.
…
Brianna bustled into the office like a mini whirlwind loaded down with the baby nursing bag, toy sack, her work case and hand bag … and Summa in her arms shouting for Melanie and George. Melanie stepped out of the office and beamed at the little girl
“Hellloooo my little munchkin” she cooed and swept her out of Brianna’s arms into her own.
She squealed excitedly and showed Melanie her Teddy, then her ‘poorly’ arm. Summa’s vocabulary was still very much baby talk but she was able to speak some words clearly and do the point and face pulling to get her message across.
“Ouchie!” she said sadly and searched for the tiny pin prick to show her favourite person beside her mother.
“Have you been to the Doctors bunny … nasty lady stab you” Melanie sympathized, “Let’s go see what I have in my Office that’s perfect for pretty little girls like you” … and with a quick smile off they went to leave Brianna to organize herself.
She counted herself so lucky the day she met George and Melanie, she had initially came to them desperate for a job to escape from Summa’s father and over time their relationship had grown and now she was so close she considered them as family. They filled a huge void in Brianna’s life that her parents’ death had left and they were surrogate grandparents who so obviously adored Summa… and it was very obvious the feeling was reciprocated. She could hear her daughter squealing and chattering away to Melanie while she unpacked all the bags, organizing the baby paraphernalia into their place.
Brianna had stayed home for the first three months but then decided she missed working and its busy environment so had begged them to let her return with Summa in tow. An arrangement that had worked very well so far and brightened everyone’s working day including Summa’s as she loved interacting with clients and reps and was proving to have a very demanding and inquisitive character! Even Melanie and George seemed to have a new lease of life with a baby in the home.
Some hours later she surfaced from a pile of documents as Melanie came through the door with Summa attempting faltering steps to her mummy.
“Look at me Mummy” beamed Melanie “She is getting stronger by the day – won’t be long before she is independent and off!”
Brianna laughed “Not just yet! I am not quite ready for the ‘escape stage’ where anything and everything out of reach becomes a challenge!” she protested. “She has got to stay a baby for a little while longer!”
Secretly Brianna didn’t want her baby girl growing up or going to Nursery yet – she enjoyed having her around.
“Where’s George by the way” she asked. “I haven’t seen him all day?”
Melanie and Summa had reached Brianna’s desk so she leaned forward and swung Summa up to her lap tickling her and causing a fit of giggles.
“Oh he has been in a meeting with some company who wants to invest in the Child Welfare Trust” Melanie grimaced. “You know what men are like once they get round a business table – he should be back soon – I presume you are setting off home now then with my little munchkin” she grinned at Summa who beamed back and gurgled some incoherent babble in reply.
“Yes as it’s nice I have set up the paddling pool for Summa’’ she replied “Oh that’s good I know the Trust were hoping someone would sponsor them – which company is it?”
Melanie paused and screwed up her face “Ah… let me think” she pondered. “Oh yes – Johnson-Wynde Associates”
Brianna had never heard of them and she berated herself as she realized she had been holding her breath. Ever since their escape from London and Darryl Markland she lived in fear of him finding them. She hadn’t heard from him since that fateful night he forced himself on her in anger when he discovered her less than respectable escorting career and the result had been Summa. She missed London sometimes but once the Press got wind she was possibly having big business millionaire tycoon Darryl Markland’s baby it had all gone crazy! The only thing to do was get as far away from London and Darryl as possible.
She glanced at Summa – her beautiful daughter who looked so much like her father. She had his stormy grey eyes and his smile along with that cheeky and demanding persona of his. But she had her Mummy’s hair and laugh. She didn’t know what she would do if Darryl found them, though in honesty she did not know if he would even be interested in her. Maybe he was one of those players as Alan Baxendale had suggested he was; where a child just did not fit into his lifestyle, and he had already put Brianna and Summa out of his mind. At the thought of Alan her mood darkened, Alan had caused her so much grief which she could only assume was jealousy. He was a client; though she had been aware he was developing feelings for her, but in her eyes it was always purely business and nothing else.
She watched Summa and Melanie talking to each other about the colour of Summa’s new toy and thanked the powers that be again for her tremendous luck in finding Melanie and George. When things had become crazy and frightening in London they had not hesitated to pack their business and life up and move it all the way up north to Carlisle. Not once did they complain or regret standing beside Brianna and it meant more to her than she could ever convey to them. In the year or so since their escape from the paparazzi life had been full of love and fun for Summa, she had grown from a fragile little new-born into a bright bubbly sweet little one year old and Brianna wanted to make sure Summa had the best life she could give her.
Talking of which they had a date with a paddling pool and a sandpit she reminded herself. Darryl flitted across her mind for an instant as a pang of guilt that he was missing out so much on his daughter’s childhood but just as quickly she squashed that thought down where it belonged as she really didn’t want the stress and issues that would arise from him complicating their lives.
Scooping Summa up and waving goodbye to Melanie amid lots of kisses and ‘miss you’ baby chatter kept Brianna’s mind occupied for a while but later as she was sat in the garden with Summa squealing and having fun in her pool Brianna once again brought her musings of Darryl to the fore… did she still have feelings for him? Despite that devastating night when Darryl had forced himself on her in alcohol infused anger (which in a really odd way she had to thank him for as it had brought Summa into her life) she had been wild about him – and yes if she admitted it to herself in love with him too. The attraction had been instant and that first kiss between them at the business function Darryl’s company had held had been so erotic it had blown her off her feet emotionally. She knew though that her heart had been truly snared after their first night together in Cannes at the Film Festival. Did she regret that night? In her head at the time she had foolishly thought if she slept with him she would be able to get him out of her system and move on – but it hadn’t quite gone to plan!
She realized that though she lived in fear of him finding them she did not for an instant regret anything with Darryl – even the sex in the Gallery where she was working at the time she had mixed reactions about. She understood why he had been so angry – and suspicious of her motives, after all thanks to Alan Baxendale’s malicious tongue he thought she had been just some hooker out to blackmail him to her own ends! Without a doubt what he did was wrong – raping her over her office desk was not the smartest move in the world and yes… it was rape in a sense as she had not been willing! Brianna caught her breath as that familiar rush of emotions flooded her senses and she relived that night in her head. She had been devastated as she felt violated, punched and misunderstood by the man she had hoped to spend her future with. Her heart had shattered and her body had hurt almost as much as her emotional pain, it had taken her a very long time to put her mess of issues to bed in its little box in her head.
Discovering she was pregnant with Summa had shocked her to the core and at first she had been frightened, not ready to be a mother … especially to a baby conceived in a rape situation! George and Melanie had been her angels that had bought her back to sanity and kept her grounded. They had listened to her outpourings of fear, grief and heartbreak and offered her the love, protection and support she had so desperately needed. She shuddered to think where she would have been today if they hadn’t been there for her!
Summa decided she had done her time in the pool and now wanted sandcastle fun – she laughed and gurgled in gobbledygook pointing at the sand and her bucket and spade, Brianna laughed and lifted her out of the water and into the pit then sat back and watched her daughter try to fill the bucket while she chatted away to herself. Summa was so like her father it was a constant reminder to Brianna of chances gone, love lost, and a future never to be though Brianna didn’t resent her daughter for that for one moment. She couldn’t help but run memories through her head of their nights together in bed, the great sex, the afterglow when she thought there was a chance of a future for them, she knew if he turned up in front of her now her body would became her traitor and react to his presence.
Suddenly she realized with a pang that she hadn’t thought about Steve for months! He was her wonderful, gentle, fun-loving husband who had left her far too soon. Darryl and Steve were like chalk and cheese, different ends of the spectrum but she had loved them both. She was sad she was not able to visit Steve’s grave now they were in Carlisle but next time she was in London she made a pact to herself to make sure she went to see him.
She mused over how drastically her life had changed in the last four years, Steve’s untimely death, her decision to start escorting to keep her head above water with finances, meeting Alan and him assaulting her in the lift the night she met Darryl, falling in love, dreaming of a future, then having that future snatched away thanks to Darryl’s response to her ex-career, her pregnancy, the paparazzi baying for blood at Summa’s arrival and their flight to the North. Sometimes she wished she could turn back the clock and still be living in her quirky little house in Chelsea with Steve, but then she would look at Summa and realize every step had been one of life’s learning curves and her daughter was the reward.
